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6 weeks in

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Baller123, Nov 8, 2020.

  1. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    I am six weeks into my current NoFap Streak. I've been trying to overcome PMO since I was 16 and later this week I will be 20. Throughout my journey, I've had many up's and downs. I've had times where I've had streaks of 100+ days followed by periods of time where I go back to old habits.

    If my NoFap journey has taught me anything, it is that consistency compounds. My life is always amazing when I go on these long streaks, I'm not always productive, but my mindset is more optimistic and hopeful. I feel the need to get shit done. And I have truly come to cherish that.

    However, I have also started to realize that for some years now I have never really set rewards for accomplishing goals. I think this is very important since rewards reinforce positive behavior. And I have started applying reward systems from everything to staying on task for the whole week to doing NoFap for an extended amount of time. If I go 365 days hard mode, I will open myself up to finding a relationship. For me I feel if I can go 365 days, then it means my brain no longer craves the highs of porn and I want to be at this level before I get a gf. Or else, I'll constantly have a sense of self-guilt.

    Now for my experience over the past 6 weeks. Some habits I've adopted that have really helped are:
    • Meditation -> one of the reasons I relapse is because my brain feels overstimulated, meditating helps with this
    • Exercise -> I started with doing a lot of bodyweight exercises (pushups, squats, pullups) but have recently turned to yoga to open up my body. Exercise is great for releasing pent up sexual energy.
    • Trying to learn new skills -> I'm currently trying to learn to code and write better and working on these two skills consistently has helped me use my time more wisely
    • Reading -> This has a very calming effect on me.
    • Cut out the news -> dramatically decreases anxiousness
    • Curated social media -> I only use Twitter, but making sure my feed is curated so I have an enriching experience has been key
    • Cold showers -> Cold showers help with decreasing urges

    So I will go on to talk about my benefits with a word of caution, this is very much still a success story in progress for me. 6 weeks is great, but as someone who has had multiple 90+ day streaks and still reverted to bad habits, I still have a long road to recovery.

    Benefits:
    • less brain fog
    • more confidence (I haven't had many in-person interactions but over calls this is apparent)
    • fuller beard
    • less anxiousness (but the last week with the U.S. elections was a little nerve-racking)
    • I have more energy and willpower
    • actually doing things instead of just thinking about doing them
    Even though I've had those benefits, there are still days when I get nothing done and feel really shitty. So I don't want it to seem that everything's picture perfect. Everyday is a new mountain to conquer and that's the mindset I operate with.

    If you're feeling stuck or in a rut with PMO, feel free to DM me on NoFap.
     
    Phast, NFman, Tryingto and 7 others like this.
  2. quit@porn

    quit@porn Fapstronaut

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    Really wondfer buddy,, great going and that too at such young age.. Good
     
  3. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    Nice work man. Have you had flatlines? I've felt amazing at times like I'm on top of the world and super productive and then some days I can't get out of bed. How do you get through these flat depressing phases?
     
  4. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I have those days as well. Before I used to get super down and actually relapse. This was because I would delude myself into thinking PMO would get me out of my complacency. Now how I approach it is that when I see myself having multiple days of flatline I take at as a sign of healing. I'm sure you know when you're having one of those days, I'd say on those days of the things you need to get done just pick a couple few which are of high priority and don't be hard on yourself about doing anything else.

    For me a high priority is making sure I meditate, exercise, and stay away from PMO. And then on top of that I might set aside 1-2 priorities for school.

    I also constantly remind myself that this is all part of the journey, that the flatlines are battles my mind has against my demons. And it's up to me to decide whether I overcome my flatlines and my demons or whether they devour me. I use a lot of self talk during these times as well.
     
  5. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    I love this approach: go ape on the good days, and on the bad days just do the best you can, knowing that every day free is a win. Thanks for sharing man. Let's do this!
     
    Viking83 and Baller123 like this.
  6. Asgardian36

    Asgardian36 Fapstronaut

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    this is a great success story, man! Includes a brief intro,what hepled you and then benefits. I have been pissed with some of the sucess story, which is lietrally few words.

    congradulations on your journey!
     
    Baller123 likes this.
  7. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the kind words! Yeah I have been around the block a couple times, so I also might have more to write about than others :)
     
    Asgardian36 likes this.
  8. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    My pleasure bro, and there's nothing more important than getting after it!!
     
    Different Built likes this.
  9. Thats really inspiring and really well written. Thanks for sharing!!

    I very much liked what you said about consistency compounds.

    I'm also especially impressed that you have numerous 100+ streaks. Power to you.

    If i had any question it would be why you won't open yourself up to a nurturing relationship UNLESS you have achieved 365 days? I get the reward system theory, but that remains quite a big ask. If you relapse, at day 360 would you have to start over? Soul-mates other SO will be coming in and out of your life on different tides and timescales to your 365 streak..

    It strikes me that you are in a much healthier sexual place than you think you are, that you are actually pretty much 'there' in terms of good sexual health and self-discipline and that you should get on and enjoy being the pretty exceptional and awesome 20 year old that you no doubt are.

    Best,
    A 40-year old.
     
    Baller123 likes this.
  10. Steveal3aneef1

    Steveal3aneef1 Fapstronaut

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    I felt like I'm the one who wrote it, we are on the same boat and this exactly what is going on in my journy
     
  11. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the kind words!

    I'm going to try to word this as best I can so it doesn't come off wrong. I would say I'm a pretty good guy. People like to socialize with me, it isn't difficult for me to talk to girls, and I have people younger than me for whom I serve as a role model. I'm also someone who is loved by my friends' parents and even parents who I don't personally know (friends of my parents, people who have heard about me from others,etc.). This lets me know I have characteristics that attract the right people into my life.

    But there's this one thing I'm kind of ashamed of. Whenever I've had feelings for a girl and she even gives a hint of feelings for me, I immediately start sexualizing in my mind this nonexistent relationship with this girl. And I've come to learn 100+ streaks aren't enough for me to overcome these thoughts and maybe even 365 days aren't. But something else I love is these notions of insurmountable mountains. And 365 days is a pretty tough climb, so having that in front of me excites me.

    The getting a girlfriend thing is moreso to just keep me going and not give up motivation, because for me relationships have been huge motivators when going for goals. Of course she might come a bit earlier during the streak and I'll have to assess the situation accordingly and decide what I want to do. I still would like to push till 365 days till that happens, but we'll see :) . And if I relapse from PMO before 365, then yes I will reset the 365 because I truly want to be recovered. This is because recovery for me means I'm in a place where I love myself and derive so much satisfaction from what I'm doing, that there's no way I'll go back to PMO. And once you reach that point, IMO, a relationship is worthwhile exploring. Of course I can also say this because I'm young and foolish and have the illusion of time being on my side, but as the years go by and I haven't hit 365, I'll definitely need to rethink this. But I'm confident I'll get there this time around :).

    @Springjim2000 Would love to know what you think about this as you have 20 years of wisdom on me. If anyone else ends up reading this I'd love to hear your thoughts as well.
     
    Springjim2000 likes this.
  12. Nutella

    Nutella Fapstronaut

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    Having 1 bad quality is not a reason to deny yourself the joy of companionship and romantic relationships. Nobody is perfect, everyone has flaws and that is okay. There are complete messes out there who have devoted partners.

    But it is also important to remember, that nofap is a tool for sexual healing, but it is not a fix-all. I see no reason why participating in nofap would stop this cognitive tendency within you, this thought pattern/habit has nothing to do with nofap. You can go 5000 days in this program, this sort of thinking will still remain within you, unchanged. That is not to mean that you can't change it. You can, through introspection, self-reflection and finding the root cause of this behavior and then putting it in a different perspective. But doing nofap is not going to change that. It's like trying to cut bread with a spoon. It's simply not what it's for.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2020
    Baller123 likes this.
  13. Baller123

    Baller123 Fapstronaut

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    This is a fair point!
     

  14. Thanks - i'll DM you.
     

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