Tales of the Lost Semen

Tale in the chilly evening of Nov 12th, 2020. Pull up a chair, grab some cider and popcorn and warm thy hands before the fire.

Late summer many years ago. A 17 year old youth was full of life and lust. Upon a certain warm day fantasies played through his mind. Fantasies he knew he didn’t need. Though the youth knew not how to fap, yet somehow the desire to do something stirred within his foolish mind. And so the youth rubbed his wiener and fapped. Immediately the youth felt the joy of life leaving him. Angry yet fascinated, the youth continued.He did not know it then; but he was well on his way to becoming, the Big Faperoonie.

 

Chapter two.

The youth was 17 and had rapidly become the Big Faperoonie. The youth fapped often. Underwear, bedsheets, floors, were defiled as Lost Semen flew wild. And with each fap, it was almost as if a life age were lost. The youth had not yet had access to nudity of any kind, but had an active imagination. Upon wishing to fap, the youth became as a zombie, and after releasing the seed, the youth became a living corpse.

 

Chapter 3.

The Old Man speaks.

Hear my words, my sons. For I am an old man, and have seen many days upon the earth. I look across the shining waters and see the land of my forefathers. Their blood must not have been spilt in vain. They did not toil and till the land to harvest a few meager potatoes, and run through the hedgerows to hide their weapons as they fought to keep their land and way of life, to see their sons spilling their seed and wasting their youth. They saw that a man must be free, and stand on his own two feet, his only guides God and his conscience. Yet now you defile the land with piles of garbage, your foul used condoms, your excess of vehicles, your waste, your lust and greed. You throw away your life for a mere fap. How the forefathers would weep to see the character lost, the love gone, the land defiled.

 

Chapter 4.

The Big Faperoonie wakes up.

The Big Faperoonie was but a zombie. But the winter was gone and spring was in the air. A year and A bit more more had gone by.And the Big Faperoonie stopped fapping so much. The rate dropped to once a month. The Big Faperoonie was coming alive. And he was no longer, the Big Faperoonie.

 

Chapter 5. The Big Faperoonie had become the Small Faperoonie. And by the age of 19 he was the Almost Never Faperoonie. He thought that he was free of the disease forever. But he was wrong. The Disease was still inside. And he had never taken the steps to address it head on. Instead, he rolled on into life full of joy, music, projects, hobbies, and dreams. He had no fear. But soon he was to learn there was much to fear.

 

Chapter six.
The tale of a fapper.
The day was coming. He was to meet the girl at his mother’s church. The dude did not go the church as he usually spent Sunday mornings hiding in his room whacking his willy. But the dude really wanted to meet this girl. His mom said she was pretty, smart, and single. And looking. So the dude checked himself in the mirror. He flexed his muscles gained at Planet Fitness where he’d been lifting with the bros. Last week he had hit on the girl in the pink sports bra by staring at her a lot and watching for her when she came out of the bathroom. He’d actually approached her and told her she was a big distraction to his workout. She had smiled and gotten on the treadmill. He got on the treadmill right behind her and kept staring. So he felt ready to talk to this church girl. He knew he needed to be fairly domineering and aggressive, as women need an alpha male, and like being controlled. He knew asking her a lot of questions about herself was a good way to accomplish this. He decided to go get a fresh cut at Papa Delphini’s so he jumped in his Dodge Neon and bumped some Drake all the way in to town.
To Be Continued...

 

Chapter 7.

The Dude was home. And he was so stoked to meet this hottie. But he felt a big nervous coming on too. And the Dude knew but one way to deal with this. And so he did what he knew, the Big Faperoo.

 

Chapter 8. (This is a fictional tale only and does not represent any experiences of The Author)

The Dude was in his room and he opened up his laptop. He decided to close it down and keep himself nice for this girl he was going to meet tomorrow morning. But then he thought, I’m so nervous. My hands are sweating at the thought of asking her out. If I’m completely emptied of semen, maybe I’ll have the inner strength to be a domineering alpha male. So The Dude decided to do the evil deed. Several hours later The Dude was drained of his semen and life force. The Dude felt dry, irritated, and still wanted more. So he stayed up all night. His eyes had bags under them. His body was experiencing accelerated aging and his mind was experiencing unnatural decay, turning into a useless blob of jelly. Feelings? None. Sense of connection to Nature and the world around him? Negative.

 

Chapter 9.

The Dude wakes up.

The Dude woke up surrounded by semen encrusted sheets. His hands were sticky. His laptop was open. The Dude realized what he was supposed to be doing. He fell out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. His mouth was dry and his penis drained. He had no desire to do anything other than eat nearby fast food and watch entertainment. He also wanted to have real sex real soon. He washes the crust off his hands and rushed downstairs. He grabbed a bowl of Cap’n Crunch and then got in a steaming hot shower. Soon The Dude was ready for the big moment when he would meet the cutie. He was so ready. But in another way he had had never been less ready.

 

The continued story of Fappypants McFap.

To be Continued Momentarily...

The Dude was ready. His goatee was slicked. His shoes were fresh. And his weiner was limp. The Dude got in his Neon and cherry bomb farted his way into town. Soon he reached the church where he met his mother in the vestibule. And there was the girl. The Dudes mouth suddenly went dry and his palms sweated excessively. He was absolutely panicked. He desparately tried to think of something to say. He then remembered some online pick up artist “training” he had received. And he launched right into the role.