The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 5 complete. One more day to being an Uruk-hai...but wow, today was hard. Not feeling too great.

I think it would be good for me to reanalyze the time I spend online. I hate what an unpredictable, treacherous, lawless place it can be. Content that is highly triggering, if not outright pornographic in and of itself, pops up in the most random and unexpected places. I definitely peeked today but I felt as though I retained a greater level of self-awareness than normal. I told myself it was not good, I didn't need that stuff, and that I should shut it down, and it took me a few minutes, but I did. Didn't masturbate to it at all, either. The feelings of guilt are really lingering, though. It doesn't feel worth resetting but maybe I should. Any thoughts?

Edit: will porn blockers work through Incognito Mode?

 

Day 21, three weeks down after today.
Let's carry on

 

Day 1

 

Absolutely they will.

 

Day 35.
Still going strong. Not experiencing anymore chaser effects this time around after making love to my wife. Fingers crossed that brain fog and negative effects from semen release stay away.

 

Day 35!

 

Day 27. With the help of God we begin this week and this day as I said walking step by step. We are all in this fight and we all can win, lets fight until the end brothers and sisters. Holy Mary Pray for Us.

 

Day 20!
With rain and fog I enter in the old village of Bree.

 

Day 189 was when i could not give in and did all off the PMO thing and i relapsed!

Maybe its i was still lonely..

Maybe its because i felt so tensed and depressed while not making any new habits in my life and not improving my social life.. its so hard because of lockdown and covid..

Maybe because i hate my job and are scared to open my business or to look for a new job.. again so hard because of covid and lockdown.

Maybe its because of years and years living with my parents by countryside.. while not hanging out with anyone and not being social.. Just saving money in the hope of greating my own business or change of career..

Maybe its because its so hard to stay strong all the time and not give in to pmo..

Sorry for whining here, but i feel like so hopeless and destroyed i dont know how to change my habits and improve my social life.
Every thought of moving out of my parents house seems like waste of resources and into the further loneliness because i have no real friends and its kinda hard to date when everything is in a lockdown.

Back to day 0

If anyone in age of 27 to 29 needs an accountability partner please message me.

 

Day 81.

I have been through the ringer the past few days. The P knows my weaknesses and knows when I'm feeling down. In the early days the influence was strong and seductive, but as time went by it became an annoying minute buzzing. Nothing worth going back to. I put it in my mind, "PORN IS NOT AN OPTION"!

 

7 days. I'm an Uruk – Hai now. @RiseToGreatness

 

Day 16 guys! Is it Hobbit time? I think it is Hobbit time.

 

Day0. Spell of porn is strong in me. A filthy orc.

 

Smashed apart my smartphone. Will be living with a dumbphone frm now. Orc asoftoday

 

Well today i made little research about it and found out it basicly acts as porn substitute. In other word I just strengthened the old bad habbit.
The problem with edging, and other close-to-the-edge addiction choices is the ritual.
You aren’t trying to beat an addiction. You’re trying to kill the habitual ritual associated with your bad habit.
Former addicts need to avoid their dealers, not hang out with them but refuse to purchase.
Edging is failure. You’re wading back into the murky waters you left because you aren’t yet ready to move back onto land, back into the sun. Drowning and hiding from reality.
The way I see it now is it's the same as porn and if I purposely search it, I basicly relapsed.