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I quit nofap for now

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kligor, Nov 16, 2020.

  1. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Hello friends,i hope you are doing good.I will try not to make this thread very long.

    I was doing nofap hardmode for 2+ years,i was on some high streaks,i was experiencing much of benefits,nofap is really good thing.Why do i stop nofap?

    TRIGGER WARNING:I think much of you don't know about my femdom addiction(i have write about that few times here) i m not able to get aroused with normal sex like,b00bs,pu$$y and more...I m some kind of masochist that like to be tortured by females and nothing else is arousing me and nothing else i like.

    My goal from early start was to be able for normal sex and to have normal relationship,even after 2+ years of hardmode nothing have changed.So i was almost got mental breakdown,after all that willpower,discipline,patience,pain nothing have changed.

    TRIGGER WARNING:So i just will sacrifice everything,i just come to some crazy idea,might most of you nofap members wont agree with me here,but in the end of the day it's my life,i started to watch vanilla porn and masturbation to vanilla porn.Why?
    Because i have never had enjoy in "normal" things,i m not able to have relationship when i can't get up to vanilla.And that is not PIED,never in life since i know for myself i haven't been able to even get 1% erection for normal sex.

    TRIGGER WARNING:Three weeks ago,i started my let's say "Goal" i started with vanilla porn,i was watching maybe even 5 minutes and nothing really are happening.Day after day i think that i m going closer to my goal,i really need to think about that and to watch to get aroused,but slowly i will success.

    I have jerked everyday 1-2 times per day in last 3 weeks,how do i feel?
    Less energy,but still high level(i still do cold showers and lift weight)
    Easier to get angry.
    I think i eat more food than before.
    I m sweating more now than before.

    But most important is that i don't feel shame this time,wrong or not i choose this way.Nofap i really good thing,i have learn much about me in last 2 years,i may get back to hardmode soon,at least i will be here on forum for now.

    I don't say watching vanilla is good i just do it on my own.I hope you understand me!
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2020
  2. syefox

    syefox Fapstronaut

    you mean, femdom addiction is not porn induced ? the inability to get it up to vanilla in relationships wasn't porn induced ?
     
    Kligor likes this.
  3. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    There's times i want to quit NoFap but i'm better off quitting porn as well, since i now know the truth about porn and the truth about my addiction.

    I can no longer justify watching porn and/or jerking off. I know i'm lying to myself and i feel ashamed when i give in.

    I tried to find a healthy way of masturbating but i can never maintain a healthy schedule and i always end up watching porn.

    So my decision is to stay with NoFap and quit porn. I wil never be happy masturbating and i want porn out of my life completely. This i cannot accomplish without NoFap.
     
    iwanttoheal and Kligor like this.
  4. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    My femdom addiction is not porn induced, i was about 5-6 years old when for first time realized i like that,long ago before i even known what is femdom or masturbation i liked to think how i got tortured by females.I started PMO 12 or 13 years old.
    No, i don't have PIED,this is worse.
     
  5. I understand that nofap won't help with your preferences, since apparently your fetish is not porn-induced but pre-existing.
    However, I doubt porn is the right solution to your problem, as it comes with a lot of drawbacks.

    First off: Don't be ashamed of your fetishes. It's simply the way you are. Nobody gets harmed, so there is nothing wrong with it. You shouldn't try to "cure" yourself, just because society tells you that you are sick. You are not.

    So instead of resorting to vanilla porn, just find a girl which helps you to truly live the life you want to live.
    It's not my personal cup of tea, but judging from a few tinder likes I received, there are plenty of dominant girls out there looking for a "slave" ;) And I think on dating sites like OKCupid it should be even easier to find someone who complements your femdom fetish.

    So you currently choose the path "I repress my real self and resort to porn".
    The real solution, however, should be: "I embrace who I really am and have a partner who lets me live the sex life I want to have".

    Nothing wrong with that. The only wrong thing you did is to watch and masturbate to porn.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  6. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you,i should be what i m,but i will be honest,i m scared and ashamed to tell that to anyone in real life.Very often i feel like a loser when i talk with girls.
    I know there are much of dominant girls,but does really in long relationship girlfriend would like to have guy who is like a "carpet/slave"?

    In past i had a chance to be in relationship at least few times with beautiful girl,but i didn't,because of my insecurities,because i m scared and ashamed to admit.
     
  7. I saw girls on Tinder who specifically stated in their profile that they are looking for a slave. Like I said, not my cup of tea so I never matched them. But they certainly DO exist.

    If you stop with porn, you might at least reach a level of confidence to accept who you are and what you want instead of being ashamed of it.
    And then start looking for your future mistress.
     
    Kligor likes this.
  8. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Anyway i will go with my way,stop nofap for some time and giving a try to adapt,i really have nothing to lose,i can always be slave.
     

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