Total failure, I want to start again but i really love PM [90days complete]

No, you are not destroyed. It's time to plan for another go at this. First, analyze what happened and figure out what caused you to relapse. Then take time to block all porn. I use porn blockers on my phone and my laptop. I changed my search engine AWAY from Google to something called Swisscows. It's a family-friendly search engine which means it won't search for porn. Delete all the porn bookmarks you have off your phone and your computer. Then, find a very good reason you want to quit PMO and use that as your motivation. When you feel the urges, do something else: exercise, read a book, talk to a friend, or logon to nofap forums (where you are now) and read other peoples' experiences and see if you can think of something to help them. As long as you don't focus on porn and fapping, you should be fine. I admit I'm a little surprised that focusing on schoolwork isn't helping. I keep myself as busy as possible. I've been involved with political work online, I'm helping a friend find a reputable place online to get a loan, I read, I have a dog that I feed and walk. I'm a little over three weeks on my streak and keeping busy has helped a lot. Don't let a relapse destroy you. Learn from it and get back on the horse. You'll be glad you did.

 

Thank you for sharing your story with us - don't get discouraged, get up and keep on fightin'. You said that you gave yourself a "little break", "loosened the grip" and your old habits got you - please remember that the temptations and urges are like wolves that move in shadows, always waiting for the perfect moment to strike when your guard is down.

Reaching 90 days is a great milestone - there are many other stories on the forum of people who relapsed after longer period without PMO, you are not the first and not the last on the list.

As FoundTheFreedom said, analyze what caused you to relapse and what was "the trigger" to pull you once again in this swamp. Keep in mind that addiction to P is as any other addiction - a drug or alcohol addict can easily return to his old ways of life if he exposes himself to his old habits.

A little quote to help you on your journey:
If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you.
Louis CK

Godspeed!

 

If you relapsed after 90 days you didn't reboot. The problem is in thinking of ending PMO as a 90 day challenge. I've read about countless guys who relapse after their 30/60/90 day reboot challenges. Stop counting the days. It's meaningless.

You're either done with this once and for all (in which case, who cares what day you're on?) or you're not. Fuck this no nut november/ super saiyan/Spartan Warrior! challenge nonsense that so many engage in. You didn't do enough in the 90 days to actually reboot. You haven't connected to enough people and haven't created enough new habits to replace the PMO habit.

I've been where you are so I speak from experience. This is what works for me. Be well

 

What’s going to be your goal that’s replacing PMO? It’s a way to practically apply the advise of “what’s your motivation”. Is it working out? Is it getting high grades on your school work until December? Remember to make it something you can measure and for it to have a fixed amount of time. Then revise the goal, and go for bigger outcomes next time. That’s essentially what going for 90 days without porn was. A goal. It was met. And now instead of going for 150 days or whatever, set another goal, make pmo be less important to think about in your mind.

 

You are destroyed when you are dead, 90 day is impressive. Stay strong king✊