35 and Older Accountability Group

Did really well today. Good day of work at my job. Feel good.

 

There is something I was going to buy and I'm going to wait until I hit 30 days. Like a reward for myself. It's not the cost of it. Just something I want but don't actually need.

 

ride the flatline too, man! Or offer it to God instead of fighting it. You know what to do with lust most days, by the sound of it. Your next step is to feel these quiet times as necessary too. We can’t just go, go, go all the time.

 

Hi Guys I am on a hard reboot PMO and approaching 30 days.

today I am struggling not wanting to relapse on M. I have tried a few things like cold showers but it doesn’t work.

 

Hi all just checking in...feeling stronger recently and gone 10+ days without PMO for first time in a while...next aim is to get to 20 days

 

I have to say I am now addicted to the no fab community

 

2nd day today. Not doing bad and no porn for weeks now. MO is still a huge struggle I reset twice at day 5. Taking it one day at a time. Working out and staying busy has really helped.

 

Do outdoor hobbies if you can and get your mind on something else. It's hard I struggle and wow your doing great.wish I could say 30 days

 

Relapsed and checking in and now my streak wasn't up to 21 , i think i renewed it the previous time i relapsed.
Anyway , back from day zero now.The last days are not good for me.It's not only the relapses but the quarantine and all this "work from home" stuff.. it may sounds nice but it took me out of my rythm completelly.I don't know how ia m going to fight this i feel like i have no schedule.

 

Use the urges to your benefit. Do some physical exercise. Your body will release the same neurochemicals that it releases during orgasm, just not at an orgasm caliber. You will feel refreshed and renewed and your urges will subside.

 

On day 21 having side effects of little sleep and stress. Can anyone relate?

 

Completely. I've found that it gets "easier" past 30 days - "easier" being a relative term, of course!

 

Creeped my way back to 10 days.
Cambodia here I come!

 

What urges have you experienced? If you relapse do you go back to normal

 

yes, when I was on my really long streaks, I found that first 30-35 days were tough. I felt more irritable, I lost some sleep. Then things evened out. For me it was through nocturnal emissions.
After that, I would have nocturnal emissions once or twice a month. Each time I would feel restless and uncomfortable a few days before it happened. So, I was looking at total 5-6 days in a month when I felt uncomfortable.

Of course, my sex life was highly irregular (still is), so I am assuming that regular sex life would “cure” this.

At the time, those uncomfortable days were so frustrating for me. I now see them as a really good opportunity to work on myself.

I am hoping to get into that rhythm again, but all I can do is focus on today.

 

Angkor Wat is a sweet destination... just watch for scammers!

 

For me, resets are becoming easier to deal with - that's very much due to this group. The biggest thing for me was letting go of the feelings of guilt, shame and self-loathing that accompany a reset. I've found that if I allow myself to wallow in self pity, my reset will turn into a full-on relapse which can last several days or longer. On the other hand, if I take the view that "well, that happened. It's disappointing and I lost my streak, but let's go again," then I'm in a better position to start a good streak.

In my experience, urges come in cycles, or waves, and the nature of them changes over the course of a streak. The first 5 days after a reset are _really_ difficult, with my brain actively working to make me look at P. After that the "overt" urges begin to subside, although it does take a few weeks for them to mostly "go away". I get the occasional "spike" out of nowhere - an almost overwhelming urge to look at P. These have caused me to reset a couple of times, but also become less intense as the streak continues.

4 - 5 weeks in, the urges are almost gone and "keeping going" becomes more insidious - it's almost as if I'm trying to trick myself into a reset. I've caught myself having mental dialogue along the lines of "it won't hurt if you just take a look at this for a minute...," "remember these things?" It's a bit like I'm playing mind games with myself. Challenging, but not insurmountable.

After about 8 weeks, I've found that there's a sort of background desire/want, which just keeps growing. Eventually, I can almost hear it. So far, I haven't managed to beat that.


I haven't yet worked out whether checking in here every couple of days is the right thing to do, or if it reminds me of the addiction. During my first streak I was on here most days, either reading or posting, and I found that to be very helpful. This current streak, I'm taking a different approach - coming to the board when I need support or to check in, but staying away otherwise. Both approaches seem to work, I'm just not sure if one is better than the other.