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The story continues... (HOCD)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by dr_persistent, Oct 5, 2020.

  1. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    First to say hello to everyone on this site and to everyone who is reading this post at the moment. 3-4 years ago, I have posted a success story, please read it before you read this, otherwise reading this has not much sense.
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/5-years-struggle-severe-hocd-transexual-porn.129195/

    I haven't been on this or any other site like this for a while. I don't need this anymore, but I come here today just too see if I have any messages and I was shocked. So many of you need help, and you deserve help. This problem is becoming more serious every day. Also, I promised to some good people from this community that I will post my progress (hello to you guys, hope you are all fine) .
    Maybe this post won't be of some special help, but maybe it's not waste of time if you lack some motivation in your life.

    Fast forward, I am 27 at the moment and I am feeling great. I finished my college (mechanical engineering, second degree). I have my own company with 15 employees. I still have my beautiful girlfriend. I do a lot of sports. My body looks great. I bought myself a sport car (it was always my dream). Me and my girlfriend moved in the apartment together. It isn't big but still, I am very happy with it. I stopped hanging with some people. A year ago I found 2 quotes on pinterest, and they say: you don't have time to hang out with people who aren't inspiring you. The other quote says: if you can't build with them, don't drink with them. I was thinking a lot about these quotes. You should also.

    I wouldn't talk about it, but I know that some would ask, probably me too. My sexual life is normal. We can have sex whenever we want, there isn't any lack of libido, mo ed, pied........

    Also important HOCD. This thing guys.......
    I wish with all my heart for all of you to realise how much stupid it is. It is so stupid that I can't find a word in my dictionary to describe it. So to answer, does it hit me sometimes? Yes it does. Does it have any impact on me? No it does not. How long it lasts? About 5 seconds.
    So it isn't worth of mentioning.

    I will tell you this guys. Something about getting arousal by watching some fucked up porn.
    A LOT OF YOU GUYS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH READING DENIAL STORIES, LIVING IN A CLOSET STORIES......
    First what I want you to realise, no matter what you read about being in a closet, denial or whatever it is so stupid. Trust me. You are born straight, you can't become gay. Whatever you do you can't become gay. You can easily fuck a male and would you believe me if I say that you are still not gay? Maybe you don't believe me but it is true.
    After you realise this, things can become much easier.

    I understand that you are very confused. It is normal. Just try to think in this way, your brain doesn't understand what sexual orientation means. He also doesn't know what type of porn are you watching and does this type of porn fits in your sexual orientation. Your brain knows ONLY FOR LEVELS OF DOPAMINE.

    Vanilla sex = no dopamine (probably no erection).
    transwoman = a lot of dopamine (hard erections)
    Gay = a lot of dopamine (hard erections)

    Please try to understand this. I understand that many of you guys are very intelligent human beings and this is why I am helping you because I know that you can understand something more complicated and that 2+2 can really be 5.
    Your brain doesn't know if you watch sensual passionate porn with man and female or you are watching transwoman porn. Your brain is used to hardcore stuff because you were raising the boundaries over the years. I guess that transwoman porn wasn't the first porn you guys have ever watched, right? On the other hand there is your heart. Deep inside you KNOW that you like girls but you don't feel it. You don't feel it because your brain is confused and sick and like I said, you need cleaning and I won't lie, you need a lot of cleaning and that won't be easy to achieve. A lot of effort and work must be put into action to achieve changes.
    On internet, you can see milions of top models naked in one hour of browsing the Internet.
    My friends, do you know how successful you have to be to lay down in bed with a top model? Only one, not a million. You have to be very successful. Smart, intelligent, working on yourself, good clothing, enough of money, funny, not creepy, brave, talkative, charming, charismatic.......
    I am telling you this because I know this now, because now I am that kind of person (without any lies).
    6 years ago, I was walking dead. My dick was dead, couldn't achieve erection, no girlfriend, no money, living with my parents, stucked in college, zero passed exams, no car, nothing. Just me and my computer and porn. Whole day long. It took me about 7 years to become completely new person. Do you now understand why I am writing you so long post? People are always asking me how long till they are porn free... Hmmmm about few years...... and then they say I am crazy. I don't know who you are, I don't know where are you from. I only know your excuses to not become successful. Please stand in front of your mirror. Imagine that you are some high level girl, would you date yourself at the moment?
    So please start changing you life from this second. The smallest thing you can do is to quit with: porn, tv, netflix, youtube, pc, tv, phone. Start doing productive things. Stop living lifes of other people.
    Fuck todays influencers, youtubers...
    Become someone. Write your own story.

    Since I'm not a hypocrite, I have to be honest with you guys. I am also not a robot. I failed a million times. Sooner or later, we all fail (in every aspects of your life), but the goal is to learn something from it. If you fail and you don't learn anything, that's not good. And to be more honest, I am drinking some pills for my anxiety, I have gad (general anxiety disorder). To be honest, I don't have any withdrawals and they really help me.

    I am here to answer your questions if you have them. And remember, thoughts are ONLY thoughts.
     
  2. ...M....

    ...M.... Fapstronaut

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    Honestly I Luv ya mate (no homo)

    You know I am a year without Pmo
    Yet I am still Craving with desire
    And as a religious man I struggled with sins

    My cravings are so strong that they interfere with sleep

    But You

    I now know that there is something missing
    The mere fact that I go and do Things

    I mean you will never. Recover if you sit all day and play

    Hahahaha. I am happy

    It is as if god sent me to your older post and this post

    Honestly all I felt was rage and hatred

    And I have a death wish

    You know living everyday Wishing it was your last
    And yet being too proud for suicide

    Thank you
    You saved a poor man's soul
    But now it is time I save myself
     
  3. ...M....

    ...M.... Fapstronaut

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    Honestly I Luv ya mate (no homo)

    You know I am a year without Pmo
    Yet I am still Craving with desire
    And as a religious man I struggled with sins

    My cravings are so strong that they interfere with sleep

    But You

    I now know that there is something missing
    The mere fact that I go and do Things

    I mean you will never. Recover if you sit all day and play

    Hahahaha. I am happy

    It is as if god sent me to your older post and this post

    Honestly all I felt was rage and hatred

    And I have a death wish

    You know living everyday Wishing it was your last
    And yet being too proud for suicide

    Thank you
    You saved a poor man's soul
    But now it is time I save myself
     
    dr_persistent likes this.
  4. So how long did it take u to get out of the flatline or cure pied for that matter? I feel like my hocd is worse while I’m stuck in this flatline.
     
  5. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    This is hard question and there isn't quick answer. Contact me in PM I will try to explain.
     
  6. Echoesact3

    Echoesact3 New Fapstronaut

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    I see a lot common points in your story and my problem. Is there any way you could help me? Would really like to tell you about my problem.
     
  7. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    No problem, just message me in pm :)
     
  8. ANewMe97

    ANewMe97 Fapstronaut

    You are right. First times that i fapped myself with this crap I felt the worst man in the universe. Porn alter your sexual perception and your mind makes you believe that you are wrong, gay, weird etc
     
  9. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    Yes. How we know the truth seconds after we cum. Before we cum, we like millions on disgusting things, after we cum, we just want a pretty girl next to us. At least it was in my case. Happened every time.
     
    cali4sto likes this.
  10. ANewMe97

    ANewMe97 Fapstronaut

    Even in my case. We just only want near a girl for share the life, in good and bad moments.
     
    Vitoriosa and dr_persistent like this.
  11. B better

    B better Fapstronaut

    Bravo sir, and congratulations on overcoming the worst of this awful trap. You may be fighting the war for the rest of your life, but the largest battle is won and the tide is turning in your favour.

    I too am a transsexual porn addict of at least 12 years and your story gives me so much hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Luckily I have never suffered with HOCD, I have never for one second doubted that I am 100% straight, I have however come to realise that I’m just a mentally weak man who has let a fucked up parasite invade nearly half his life without ever having the balls to fight back. That fight back started a week ago and inspirational stories like yours will be what get me through the dark days ahead
     
    dr_persistent likes this.
  12. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I am glad if I helped you, or even motivated you. This is 1000% fixable, just takes time, but don't rush. Some pople don't see any changes for months. But the bright side is that you have nothing to lose. One day without this crap is much better than one day spent watching it.

    I am here if you ever lose motivation, or just need someone to chat.
     
    Vitoriosa, B better and HumansAreFree like this.
  13. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    You are mechanical engineer... My dream is get a Phd in robotics engineering... I still have to get the second degree, I lost almost 2 years with PMO (and in general social media that made me procrastinate)...

    Reading your story is inspiring... I hope to become what I want in the future... I don't want to live this life like that...
     
    dr_persistent likes this.
  14. dr_persistent

    dr_persistent Fapstronaut

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    That is great, I wish you luck in achieving your goal.
     
    Lufaro likes this.
  15. k.harinandan

    k.harinandan Fapstronaut

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    hi sir, i already read ur old post and know this and i can see my self in this post, ur really a inspiration for us but i have one doubt? i am on NoFap day 7 and i am free now without anxiety and i get this thoughts rarely but yesterday i checked mysef by watching gay porn and i didnt feel any arousal and i didnt like and i felt happy and again today i checked again myself i got half erection not full and i got an urge to masturbate (but i didnt musturbate) and again my anxiety some what came back . is it normal.
     
  16. cali4sto

    cali4sto Fapstronaut

    That's so beautiful, I feel the same, I just want a sexy smart girl next to me that smells great haha
     
    MSG_1983 likes this.
  17. Kilua8373$

    Kilua8373$ Fapstronaut

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    Hello man thank you for your help can we talk privately?
     

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