Damn it... I watched porn after 25 days. (+1 year nofap)

Hey, guys. How's it going?

I've been off PMO for more than a year, but still I have watched porn 4 to 5 times during this time.

Yeah, it's not something crazy but every time I go back to watching I feel like I take a step back.

After a year, I figured I could completely forget about that stuff. Not very close though. it seems I still got a lot of work to do.

What's your experience with only watching porn in particular during long streaks? When did you stop watching porn completely and could safely say you wouldn't do it again?

Let's chat...

 

Thanks for the advice, man. I agree with this method. I have already set multiple counters; no P, no sexual images, not searching sexually provocative stuff... Even no lustful looks.

So, yeah. That's the strategy that helps.

I only disagree with you on one point. In my experience you don't reset all progress when you watch porn. But maybe you were exaggerating.

After all, let's not forget what our minds are capable of. In my experience, it has used the "you have completely failed" card to make me fap to porn. It's like a devil whispering in your ear, you know? Let's at least not whisper it here because it's a lie.

 

Thanks, man. I have a separate counter on an app that it's specifically about porn and I am consistent with keeping count / resetting.

This one here, I don't know how to edit. If you know let me know.

 

Yeah, definitely. It does reverse your progress. And the more you watch the more your progress slows down in that sense. But it's not back to zero. This is what I meant. If it was this way, there would be no problem PMOing after watching porn. But there is a big difference between PMO and P when it comes to our progress.

 

Watching for hours is detrimental to your progress indeed.

But you're thinking about progress in a 1-0 kind of way, which completely removes the meaning of the word "progress".

If it works as simply as "rock bottom (0) - success (1) - reset (back to rock bottom)", I immediately want to know what will get me to 1 so I can claim the nofap reward and get on with my life.

But in reality, progress doesn't work that way. It's not a "success - reset" process. It cannot be measured when it comes to porn addiction, but we have some indicators that let the recovering addict know what happens and in which direction.

First of all, everyone who has been doing nofap for a while will know that if they watch porn, due to the dopamine release they will want to watch more.

Now, also everyone has experienced a PMO relapse and can understand that the intensity of craving for more is much higher than the one after a porn relapse. That's because climax releases much more dopamine and it also releases the actual reward chemical, opioids, which further strengths the synapses in our reward circuit after orgasm, making us seek it out even more.

Furthermore, it's a common phenomenon that of porn addicts who binge after they orgasm. This is an indirect even higher level of damage that slows down progress.

Even if you take the orgasm factor out of the comparison, dopamine is at its peak during edging in particular. This peak is nowhere approximately close to the level of dopamine released during watching porn. Therefore, the slowing of the progress when edging is nowhere near that of when watching.

There is no marginal difference. And PMO isn't just an extension to watching porn. There is a significant leap as is there a significant difference between dopamine and opioid. In English: PMO is much worse. But on a side note, it too doesn't "reset" your progress either (whatever that means). It sure slows it down though.

 

Yes, indeed. You cannot trust your brain when it has just become a slave to base desires.

Your mind is a servant. It will sometimes be used by you; the real you, the one who wants to improve his life and be a better man. And sometimes it is used by desires that don't agree with you wanting to be a better man.

But congrats for staying off porn for so long. It really is the hardest part after you quit masturbating.

And yeah, porn watching aside from restrengthening the paths in your reward circuit, it has a worse indirect result; PMO.

Both of the times that I relapsed and watched were during lockdowns. Here, we got another one and working from home is very dangerous for me.