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  1. I think I am sick. Porn turned me into some freak. I have escalated down a sick path. What kind of person have I become. I never used to watch lesbian, gay, bi porn. Before porn I was a straight man. I only used to watch vanilla porn.
     
  2. Jo-trying

    Jo-trying Fapstronaut

    23
    28
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    Slow down there ishee, it's just your p addiction escalating to try and get the same dopamine high - it's a very common phenomenon amongst all addicts. Your dopamine receptors are overstimulated and have down-regulated to try and cope with the super stimulus that p has become. Now if you, (and I) were heroin addicts, we would compensate by using more of the drug more often, but because p is a visual drug how do you compensate? You start watching stuff that shocks and disgusts. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest dangers of p - escalation.
    What to do? You can ONLY reverse this by quitting p. If you can't do 90 days, try a month, a week, hell even 1 day, but you have to abstain and break the cycle of pmo. Before you start, figure out what you are going to replace p with in your life - a hobby, career move, a new relationship and be clear what your goals are. If you don't replace your p addiction with something meaningful or constructive, it may be very difficult for you to stay on track when temptation arises. I've been addicted for 25 years+, had some good streaks and now I'm trying to get to the one year mark - it still tries to trick my brain, but it does get easier the longer you abstain and try to build a new life.
    Like you, I also escalated into all kinds of weird shit but that stuff started fading slowly over time as my brain rewired and I'm getting back to my natural sexual orientation and attractions. It takes time, effort and discipline, but I think it's worth the effort to try and get my life back.
    I hope this helps you, my friend. Don't be too harsh on yourself - just make a start and keep trying. Many others have done it, we can too!
     

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