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Loneliness and hate

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Nov 26, 2020.

  1. I already post this thread in another section, but I think here there are more people that might be in the same way as myself.

    When I was a teenager I used to be attracted by females my age. I'm talking about crazy falling in love with them. I don't remember but I think I was already watching porn, maybe a little less porn than nowadays but still porn.
    I have never got lucky with girls and at some point in my 20s I started to becoming mysoginy, to hate all girls my age because they all rejected me always. (I think I was being an "INCEL"). I started to hate boys also because they got lucky genes and look manly even at 18. I'm 22 and I look like a 15 years old kid. I believed in LMS theory (Still believe in it) and due to this I feel like I'm never going to get a girl.

    I'm in no pmo, 1 day streak, coming from 10 days streaks cycles, trying to not focus on girls and rejection and guys better than me. But I can't. How can I stop these incel / inferiority feelings?

    How can I start to not hate females and judge them because they choose better looking guys, and start to fall in love again? I think I don't fall in love with a girl since I was 19.

    Thank you all.
     
  2. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    Hopefully I've understood your question, I heard how to not hate people. It's a long road friend, I'll list a few parts of the jiurney. 1 daily practice giving up expectation: I had that too the first person I "feel in love with" I assumed would fall all over herself to get to me and it was definitely not the way I thought it would be :) expectation if held on to leads to hate
    2. Honesty with my self. I found out later that what I thought was love was lust, which is understandable for a young person with hormones but important to know is not the same as love. My body wanted to have sex and then my mind dressed that up with a bunch of sweet talk, the confusion added to my expectation there fore hate because I had myself convinced that I was a good person wanting a good thing so that made her bad. Sex is not bad but it's not good either it just is, and it's useful to see that wanting it is selfish so it makes sense that the person I selfishly want sex with will act selfishly in response by choosing a "better" person to attach to. They're just doing what I was doing, there is another way that is more fun, we can find it as we give up expectation and selfishness. 3. Breaking down identity: "I am the guy who hates those people" and that always had to be propped up like a house of cards by thoughts. Thoughts I had that went into this were "if they wouldn't dress that way I wouldn't have to use pornography" which now seems very silly to me. Who is in charge of my body, someone other than me? If I let them :)
    4. Looking for my part. If I think back to people I "loved" when young who "rejected me" I see that I had negative actions and erroneous thoughts that pushed them away. They might not have chosen to be with me anyways and that's ok but I did not help by doing things like saying tactless things to them or by holding negative attitudes like "she should be grateful for my attention" no one likes that shit. Annoying these things helped me start to choose differently, to cultivate different actions and thoughts and not to get sex (by the time I learned to practice these things i had been tired of being pushed around by my desire for sex for years and was willing to practice these things just because, my way in life want working worth a damn). I get to take different actions and cultivate different thoughts that make me happy regardless whether I have more or less sex, which is nice otherwise I'm at the mercy of something that will not always work in my best interest.
     
  3. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    Oh I forgot one more, the last word in your user name is Clemenza which means forgiveness, obviously that relieves us of the difficult work of having to hate.
     

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