I'm either driving myself crazy or this doesn't work!

I've seen my tastes change over time with porn use and I'm at day 40. Nofap plus no dating apps, stuck in my house during covid and no libido makes me feel absolutely worthless. I am beginning to seriously doubt if I can fix the damage I have caused.

 

So, my overall story. I never masturbated until I was 18 or 19. I lost my virginity (on thanksgiving 2006 actually). At the time, I had viewed porn on some websites before but it was probably a mistake - even still.

was with her for 2 years and had sec and then I made the mistake of masturbation. That screwed me up. I pmo'ed through my 20s and stopped at certain times for 2 weeks and had sex with 2 other women - 1 i climaxed to and the other i didnt.

I went from porn to erotic fiction.

ive gotten nervous a lot around women since previous experiences. Im 32 and so far, no morning wood - maybe once in a long while and i do notice if inwake up at night dreaming i have nocturnal erections.

I'm often "checking" myself when i am alone about why i cant magically get it up. Even ALONE!

I am 32 now.

 

Benefits? I'm fucking bored! I guess I am realizing how much time ai have now. With covid it sucks bc I cant do much, but Im exercising again. I aim to do at minumum 50 burpees everyday or so then I'm lifting weights too. This is all new.

i may start running. I'm considering learning a language with busuu or duolingo. I make pasta from scratch (learned before in a previous attempt to stop).

I'm becoming interested in accounting?

 

Day 10? Not sure. I also take an antidepressant. Ive been on and off those quite a while.

 

I woke up twice last night. I was dreaming, and I had an erection twice. I have noted the nocturnal erections still happen regularly.