My Experience With a Porn Star - (The Truth About ED & Fetishes)

I think we should stop to fight these fetishes. They have to dissolve and disappear with emotional integration.

Great readings guys. I support 100% of what you said.

 

Not running away from your emotions and turning to porn / fetishes.

 

Thanks for sharing brother
It can't be easy

 

Priceless that you take that comment seriously but ignore the science of what causes it. You'd make a great life coach lol.

 

Really helpful

 

This was a poignant read! It was illuminating. I can't thank you enough.

 

I've reported this post twice now and it hasn't been edited even though some parts clearly violate the rules so I will address your insanely triggered post even though I'm probably wasting my time.

No, it means I wasn't trying to be rude about what I was saying.

The links are in my thread. I don't need to quote them every time I post on femdom threads.

In theory it effects sex drive although I haven't noticed any difference. I didn't say it would alter sexual orientation. I hope you realize that sexual orientation is not the same as paraphillias and fetishes.

I messaged you twice and only because I didn't realize I had already messaged you. I didn't even know you were the same user I messaged as I just searched "femdom" and your post came up. know how dangerous femdom porn is so to say I have ulterior motives when I'm trying to help is weird. And it's a public forum so don't tell me that I can't participate.

Change your username to "Self-Actualized Manchild" lol.

 

Thanks for the post. It was a good read

 

Really good post. I can see a lot of my own journey in it, except mine involved being deluded into same-sex sex addiction. In the end, though, an unhealthy fetish is an unhealthy fetish, regardless of what form it takes. Best of luck going forward!

 

This may have saved my life, so thanks a lot dude. My story is exactly the same as yours, with the only difference being that my fantasy is being dominated and pleasing (in a submissive manner) a much older, stocky, hairy and masculine gay man. I don't find men attractive, but these strong arousals and compulsions have really made me think that I am gay (nothing wrong with this btw, but this isn't love or attraction, but degrading myself), and this has only been worsened by internalised homophobia from a very young age due to my very toxic mum who made me scared of homosexuality, and made me see it as totally wrong and unnatural.

 

This is an incredibly thoughtful and generous post, @Self-Actualized Men.

I do sometimes wonder this about my own sexual extremes. Like you, they involve domination / humiliation and seem to parallel some difficult childhood experiences. From time to time, I think I should just give them a try - find someone amenable and go for it.

What you've offered here is pretty darn clear, however. And very much confirms my own suspicions (which is perhaps why I've not acted on these to date). These tastes are, at least to some extent, porn-induced. My route toward a healthy and appropriate sense of my sexuality lay not in engaging more porn-type behaviour, but in moving away from this. In easing porn out of my life and seeing what remains.

Thanks for removing the need for me to do my own 'field research' in this regard. Again, it's very generous.

 

Interesting read

At the end of the day, as we grow up into adulthood and responsibilities, it would be worthwhile if we take a moment to reminisce our childhood experience and FORGIVE our parents.

For me, my mother has been manipulative, belittling and discouraging. Her words shattered my self-confidence and pride....

It was quite a journey for me to unlearn my conditioning and one thing that really helped me was understanding the fact that people's negativeness are the products of their unresolved trauma or pain. At a later point of life I realized that she acted the way she acted because she was SUFFERING her own pain. And to be fair, even though she had all these negativity, she had a lot of positive side too.

One of the biggest BREAKTHROUGH in my life happened when I was able to forgive my parents for the pain they have caused me and to clearly perceive that they caused such pain because they themselves were suffering!


If you look deeper into the controlling parent, you see that he/she was in fact controlled in their youth and had unresolved pains from that. In the end someone must be stable enough to love them not tolerate them despite their negativity and help them overcome their trauma and surprisingly, as time progresses their nature changes, their nagging lessens. May that be you!

I really pray that may you all forgive the pain your parents caused to you, understand that they themselves were in pain in the first place, and say THANK YOU to them for all the kindness they've inevitably shown. They nourished you, changed your diapers, made sure you got education..if you look deeply, there will be quite a lot of things you can feel thankful to your parents..

There is a meditation where you sit and visualize you mother, look into her eyes and communicate with your heart all things you wanted to ask her, let those emotions pour out, all your resentments, expectations, pains...let it out completely. And see her pain..and forgive her...and ask for forgiveness if you've hurt her

You can do the same practice with by visualizing your father.

This is an important practice that can free us from our unresolved childhood trauma.

May we all heal!

 

Very wise words, although it's going to take a lot for me to forgive my mum. She's not a bad person, but was one of the most toxic mums you can imagine (she imposed so much fear in me as a child), and my self-esteem, confidence and anxiety around many things was shattered from a young age, and I've never truly recovered. She still tries to 'mould' and 'control' me (I'm 28), so I'm really considering removing her from my life as it may be the only way to free myself from the trauma that she has put into me. I will always love her, but I may need to to remove her from my life.

 

wtf op is self righteous airhead. will not following you timetoquitnow.

 

Note to self start journaling...glad you getting better bro!

 

This has been a great read @Self-Actualized Men thanks. I have always suspected internal fantasy was something very different from our 'every day' attractions - and that the arousal systems were very different as well. Other than the books you have recommend (I loved Doige's book, not just for these issues) any other resources you recommend? I know there is a wealth of info here, and at yourbrain on porn but i have trouble finding info on fantasizing .

 

sometimes you need that distance to heal