Single mothers

Tl;dr:
The op had a bad experience with a single mother so therefore all single mother are terrible people.

 

This is good advice. Most people who will end up screwing you over can't hide their tendency to such behaviour for long if you know what to look for and aren't blinded by your feelings.

 

The only guarantee in this life is that one day it will end; Everything else is really about using your best judgment and hoping for the best. Obviously if you're not interested in raising someone else's kids then you should stay away from marrying a single mother.

As for single mothers themselves, its clearly unfair to paint all of them with such broad strokes. The idea that you should only trust a single mom if she's the product of a past abusive relationship and that all others should he treated with suspicion, is probably one of the dumbest things I've read in a long long time.

Trust requires vulnerability which in turn produces risk. Single mother or not there is always a risk you could get used or fucked over. That's life. If you have trust issues, which it sounds like you do, then you should really work on those first since trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

 

Provide the data.

 

Emotions that are being used to defame a specific group of people. Don't like my comment? Read another one.

 

I somewhat agree, and im a women. Of course there are abusive men which can be a reason why marriages end, but people don't understand that women can be abusive as well, just in different ways. My mom was like that. She would waste all the dad's money on usless shit, but then the minute he doesn't have a job she says he's not a good provider to his child (me) and divorces him.

 

I hate all this red pill stuff, there are horrible men and horrible women, great men and great women. Trying to 'other' women by declaring that all single mothers are the same is, I think, stupid.

 

Correct. Everyone should agree to this and shut up now.

 

Except in the last few decades most men have become addicted to porn and they become less of a man each year. Physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally. I'm sorry for your experience but how do you know it wasn't in fact your father that is to blame?

 

"used to"

 

Thanks for the article. Did you even read it? I I ask because your conclusion that single moms are looking to use men for financial support to take care of their kids isn't exactly a factor the statistics indicate.


Right here in the very first paragraph of the article: "The number of single mothers worldwide is on the rise. There are many reasons for this, one of them being, according to single mother statistics, the fact that more and more women are becoming financially independent. As a result, they’re able to afford having children without the financial support of their partner, they are not completely reliant on their partners."

That kind of shits all over your theory, lol.

 

Also the article showed that 40% of single moms are divorced or separated. It didn't say that single mothers make up 40% of divorce rates or failed relationships. You understand the difference, right? You get that divorce and separation are why these women with kids are now called single mothers, right?

 

Okay, so now you're talking about the societal aspect of this. So what solution excatly do you propose? Because men refusing to date single mothers won't help the children of single mothers, quite the contrary actually as proven by the statistics you're referring to. It also won't make them more likely to be able to support their families and therefore not need tax dollars. So I fail to see how any of this ties in to your original post aside from further proving that it's all just about your personal vendetta against single moms.

 

another thread with members attacking each other is this really productive?

 

Ultimately, our sanctuary is always our own self. You can find the perfect woman in your life and settle down with her but that doesn't mean everything is going to be happily ever after. There are going to be certain harsh realities in life. The stability of relationships is never guaranteed and you can never force your will on your partner and expect them to act according to your plans and ideals.

The only thing that we can do is to cultivate virtues ourselves and honor our commitments to the best of our abilities and once you are precisely absolutely sure that the relationship is getting toxic and after all your efforts have become vain, the best option is to separate honorably.

A challenge free relationship is a mere utopia. It is how you respond to these challenges that makes your life worthwhile.

Just like there are abusive men, there are toxic women as well. But just like there are men who believes in certain values, there are also going to be women who believes in certain ideals. Just because a woman made a mistake in past, doesn't necessarily mean that she will repeat it.

I'd say you have to be willing to trust in yourself and in your woman (if you are looking for a partner) without judging her with in the backdrop of your father's story or the Red Pill stuff you read.

Because if you have judged your woman and looks at her with a kindof of suspicion, even if she is an honest woman, you will always find some reason to throw up your insecurities at her.

There is no guarantee of happily ever after, all that is within your control is your own conscience and your gut-feelings. If you decide to commit to a woman, do it with all your heart. If you find the relationship is no more working, part ways in an honorable manner.

The trick in life, is that if you are honest and if your conscience is clear, no amount of separation or loss can break you completely. Ofcourse, there will be moments of sadness, but you as sure as hell won't need to find another woman to comfort you, or in other words, you need not have to rely on a woman's love to find solace yourself. Instead, you can rest in your stability and provide your warmth and love to her and in that security, she almost often responds with outpouring of her love.

The trick, my friend is self-reliance. Everything else in life in transient. Doesn't mean you have to reject everything. You just have to acknowledge that there are certain things beyond your control, and keep your focus grounded on the variables that you can control.

Take care man!

 

I mean idk you're the one siding with a person throwing tantrum on a public forum over a past trauma. And you are the one who got offended by my original comment, because "it's called emotions." So as far as someone's ability to handle life can be deduced from their comments on this forum, you appear to be the one with problems.