The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Thank you @tonyk1982. You've been a great member here. Your story, your comments and your resolve to stay clean (now at 79 days!) have all been encouraging and inspiration. Seriously, thank you.

 

52 days clean.
A few nights ago I had really bad food poisoning and I was home alone and in a really bad state physically.
I couldn't get comfortable, I was throwing up and overheating. In times like this before I've turned to PMO to get me through. This time was different I had a cold shower and then I meditated and did some breathing exercises for about an hour. I was sick for the rest of the night but I felt much better after the breathing exercises.
PMO should never be the answer to fix anything. If I had relapsed because I was sick, how shameful that would be.

 

Just coming on to report back on 96 days completed. Life is very busy right now, and there was no way I would have been able to cope before stopping PMO. Now... I’m just about managing.

 

Sorry guys I have been off since 25 Oct
Which I shouldn't be
I have made a decision to complete the whole Syllabus of Class 11th and 12th Before Christmas
It may sound stupid or silly, but I have to give an entrance exam called NEET. This exam will decide my future, my destiny.
Once I will crack this Exam I will get admission in Top Medical Colleges of India. And I am Aiming for the best medical College in India i.e. AIIMS NEW DELHI (All India Institute of Medical Sciences)
I was laging behind syllabus, a month ago, so I have to make a decision to study about 16 hours a day, although I never reached till 16 hours but definitely I never gone below 12 hours
______________________________________
Many of you may think, that's not a big deal, right?
But it's a huge deal for me, so I detached myself from all social media including nofap website

Although it felt like I lost some good connections especially from this website
Because there are some people,I don't even know their face yet they are connected so deeply with me

So i felt should not leave this place
So here I am

Day 103 ( ah ,forget to notify about 100 days done)

 

Hi Ian Of Freelandia,

Thanks for the message! I managed to get 102 days before falling.

I've now started reading the a new book about the subject.

I feel now that I was really on an extended "Holiday" from Porn, once I have slipped back into the old habits - it is very easy to continue.

At least now I have experience of what it can be like from abstaining for so long. I was so much sharper - and over the last few months I have opened up several social and spiritual avenues that, had I been PMO/Fapping I would not have done.

So it is now for me to decide when I'm "Done" with this relapse. That time is now.

 

@Brahmacharya_UK You've had a great run and have offered a lot of great support to others here. So I'm sure you will get back to center with your nofap pursuit. No matter if we've had a reset let's still keep on track for a great start to 2021. Stay strong.

 

Day 145...... Starting regular exercise and meditation from today.

 

@Ian Of Freelandia Thank you my friend - I found your words both kind and encouraging, and I really appreciate you writing them.

I actually got to 102 days (That's a BIG OUCH huh?).

The positive news is that I'm done with Porn. Not just "for a few months", or "a couple years", or "10 years". Hear me well... I'm done with Porn F O R E V E R.

It is one of the worst habits imaginable. Worse than problem drinking, smoking, narcotics consumption... Just the worst of the worst. I knew it before, but now I feel it with every fibre of my being. It's just not worth it.

I was just about to go real preachy and talk about societal impacts and regulation and all that stuff, but that just pushes the responsibility away from the individual. Still, its addictive, brain damaging nature should at very least be widely publicized, and warning labels on these sites.

@BrohkenCompass - My first clean day since this relapse was 04/12/2020. I am not asking you to bend the rules for me, I request your final decision as to whether I can remain in this challenge.

 

Day 83 - been thinking about finding something more productive to do with the free time made available by nofap. I've (re)established some habits like reading books (not bullshit internet crap) and a couple of other hobbies that went by the wayside because my go-to pastime was PMO. What a waste of time, and life, that was. Sometimes I look back and feel so badly about what I might have accomplished over the years had I not been an addict. But I take great satisfaction in being clean TODAY. Whilst I may be on last half-lap of lifespan (after wasting 30+ years on PMO up to this point) every day clean is a better day than the last. My experience of life, especially relationships with family and friends, is so much richer since I am not burdened by having to hide my activities. Being able to have an honest reply when the wife asks what I've been doing when I come up from the basement is a miraculous experience. Stay strong everyone as we approach the holidays.

 

100 days completed! Still going, though the urges are starting to increase a little. Maybe where my sleep has been affected, with wife getting up and down through the night and baby just days away. That sleep in only going to get worse, and that will probably increase the urges. However, I know PMO doesn’t solve the issue, but makes it worse. I need to look at my progress and keep telling myself that.

 

It's been a long time since I last checked in here. I didn't get any urges so I thought I didn't need to think of porn . That's why I didn't think of nofap either. But now, these last two days, I have had extreme urges. I was very very close to a relapse today. So I came back here pressed the panic button many times and then came to this thread and saw how I am not alone and that others are feeling the same but are still fighting. So now my urges are gone again and I am motivated again like I was in the start. I cant be going back to that filthy world again. FOR SURE.

 

@Schia - Impending Congratulations on the newborn. In terms of streak, you are exactly where I was around a week ago before I made a really stupid and dumb mistake... You are on the right side of things, and are doing the right things by sharing your experiences.
Life is hard, like, real-stupid-ass-crazy hard at times, you know from your experience that your sex-energy is what holds you aloft and supports you through these times. To Fap it away is a waste of time, energy, spirit and life - Those 100 days are truly hard won and will form the basis of your ongoing recovery. Stay this course and you will get so much more out of life.

@theforgotten1423 - Hey man, that is why we are all here - and well done on you for your 75 days, great progress. The panic button is really useful isn't it? When I get to the point of wanting to press the button - I will also analyse myself, my thoughts, feelings, actions and ask if they are in line with my universal purpose. If they are not, then I can't just wish it so, I have to change them.

Still mourning my massive streak lost last week. But, that truly was the last time. Now all I am doing is filling my life with good people, spirituality, good experiences and change for the better. God praise all of us that takes this rarely walked path, for we are the enlightened ones.

 

Congrats man! It is wonderful that you are setting up your life as a father without the burden of PMO activities and to match the purity of that young life with the purity of your mind, soul, and body. Stay strong.

 

88 Days

 

I've fallen on day 34, here I am on day 7, learning from my mistakes and looking for better habits. I will no longer think in long-term and record streaks, I'm thinking about blocks of 5 days now, one step at a time. Recovering everyday, the way it must be.