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Last attempt with your help.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Lufaro, Nov 18, 2020.

  1. XY_0_9

    XY_0_9 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Lufaro! I can very much relate to your story. I'm also a long time "fapstronaut", I used to be a very active member in this forum but deleted my last account because it seemed that my activity here didn't get me any further. I enjoyed having many conversations here and online friendships (even if anonymous) but at some point I rather saw it as an distraction - even addictive - while my true problem was still there and up to me alone ...

    Well, as you see I'm back again now. The reason being that I kept relapsing and then it's better to use this tool than having nothing - especially in these lonely times!

    Besides porn I also deal with procrastination, laziness, sometimes depression (not clinical though). That's about it.
    Oh, I'm a guy from Germany btw, 33y. Maybe we can be accountability partners. What do you think?

    Recently I started to learn Italian (on my own). But my English is pretty messy so I hope I won't mess up yours :D
     
    Lufaro likes this.
  2. Agent

    Agent Fapstronaut

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    Its great to have lots of motivation in the beginning and wanting to do everything the best as you can, but beware do not overload yourself with too many things to do perfectly because it will lead you to stress and too much pressure and whenever you don't do them you'll feel like a failure and sometimes it leads to PMO, but im here bro don't give up ever.
     
    Lufaro likes this.
  3. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Hello XY_0_9 you are like me: I am struggling with the same problems that you have. Also here: sometimes I see that I had procrastinated in this forum while I had deleted my accounts for google/youtube/porn sites that made me procrastinate.
    So I am like you!
    If you need some help for italian, don't worry to ask. :)
    My dream is to learn english well to get a PHD in another country (in Germany as well)
    I also have some struggles with a sort of depression (not clinical, I am lucky). My problem is that I think that our lives has no sense and sometimes it makes me crazy. I am afraid for the future, but at the same time I am afraid of death and of the fact that in my life I will not have sense...

    Thank you, you are right bro... I also have the problem you wrote: sometimes I want to do too much and finally I don't do anything because I think about all what I want to do... Thank you for the post, you are definetely right.
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2020
  4. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 11-12

    I am struggling because sometimes I think that life has no sense. I have some dreams, but they are very difficult to realize them. For this reason if I will not get these dreams I'll feel like if my life will have not sense...
    For these struggles I have not studied and I have procrastinated a lot during these 2 days.

    - Hours Study: 0 h /6 hours
    - Hours reading: 0 min/2.5 hours
    - Hours study english: 0 minutes/30 minutes
    - Hours on Youtube/ Social: 8 hours/at most 1 h
     
  5. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 13

    I am writing now... The day has just been started but I already had PMO... I had my fantasies thinking about my ex girlfriend and I am procrastinating... At the same time I am struggling with the sense of life... I am not studying, I feel guilty.

    I didn't do anything important today.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2020
  6. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 14
    Same of Day 13.
     
  7. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 15

    I didn't do a lot, but better then the other days. I'm trying to find a sense to my life. It's very difficult.
     
  8. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 15

    I didn't do a lot, but better then the other days. I'm trying to find a sense to my life. It's very difficult.
     
  9. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Hey Lufaro, you are trying to get a sense of your life, has that always been something troubling for you? Or did it start after you decided to start recovery? Is there perhaps a questioning of life itself?
     
  10. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for asking!
    I am struggling with the sense of life for a lot of time... But during these last years this struggling has become stronger... I don't know why (It's not related with nofap recovery).
    When I think that life has no sense, when I think that we will die and our lives will be not eternal, I struggle...

    I read some of Camus that had the same thoughts, but He passed this phase, understanding that life has no sense but we can be happy as well.
    I am in the phase in which I don't find any reason to be happy for real.
    Now I am better, for sure, but I am still tormented...

    The problem is: when I am in those kind of periods, I am blocked and I don't do anything (exept read something that can raise my moral).
     
  11. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    @Lufaro Can you be so certain that we are not eternal? What about considering the other direction? Looking into the past before we come into the life we are experiencing now. How were we before? I don't expect that we would be scared of not existing when we think about it in this perspective. I think, well...before me I was something else, and after me there will be something else again. It is just the same, I've been there before.

    I'm sorry I'm not familiar with Camus.

    There is no real reason to be sad and/or depressed either. Sure life my have been hard for us in the past but we made it through. Now, we are here, we are still going through this existence. The past is the past. If your hurt from things that happened there you cannot possibly change what is hapening now. You can either be hapy or sad. Depending on the choice you make your brain is going to help you in that choice. However, living in sadness feels like strugglling for an eternity while living in happiness makes time disappear.
     
  12. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Your words are very important, thank you.
    Look the other direction? Good advice, before we were nothing, now we are in the middle of the nothing (before our birth) and the nothing (after our death).. I'll try to enjoy this middle and do what I can do..
     
    eagle rising likes this.
  13. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 16
    The same!
     
  14. Lufaro

    Lufaro Fapstronaut

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    Day 17
    The same again!
     

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