wanna start a new life

may I ask you for how long your DE has been there? Or something else you can tell me? We can try and find a pattern.

 

Yes, I've been to a doctor. There isn't anything wrong physically. He told me to go to a psychologist because he deemed was an issue tied with anxiety but it happened to me even with long-term gfs. So, it's "just" death grip. Therefore, I'll reject both standard masturbation and porn for ever. As I said, I don't have serious issues with the latter. I can do without. Considering the former, I've educated myself to orgasm with a death grip which is not replicable when having sex. However, I'll take into account your advice. I have a fleshlight and I could use that in the future if I'm not in a long-term relationship but right now I don't want to stress myself out thinking about when I'll be able to masturbate again. That would be useless or even harming for me.
In your case, I trust your resolution but I see an issue in the couple. Maybe she should see a therapist with you. You're putting in some great effort, but she should do something about to imho. Really hope your ED is related to PMO. What does your physician say about?

 

yep, I can relate to your words. May I ask how old you are? I was never able to orgasm for the same very reason. The speed, the grip and also that tension in the legs that's hard to replicate (perhaps in the position when she's over you). Did you use to watch a lot of porn? To me it's not my main concern, yet I wanna get rid of it completely as well. For us, the only way is to refrain from M+O for a long periodo of time (I'd say several weeks, the more the better). Then try to orgasm just having sex or with a fleshlight+lube (never, never dry). However, I'll try to avoid that as well.

 

same identical situation here. We could be accountable for each other as I'm about to hit day 14 too.

Tonight, I watched this video, really interesting. Porn truly is addictive and horrible

 

thank you, we both make it to 15 days (for me just a couple hours because of different timezone). So far so good. Some urges, but nothing too difficult to handle. I have had some health related issues this past week like headache, red eyes, stomach ache. I feel quite tired and sleepy. However, I stick to my daily workout plan. With meditation and motivational videos, I can keep the urges at bay. I don't know if it's a flatline. Probably it is. During my longest streak in 2019, I hit the flatline around day 20 and it lasted a couple of weeks. Let's how it goes in the upcoming days leading to 20 and 30 days. That streak was messed up by sex with girls. This time it's gonna be hard mode. And it'll end just when I'll be able to orgasm during regular sex. I'm no longer afraid of having wet dreams either. Actually I'm curious if I could orgasm without any action from my side. It'll be a good sign for me and I guess for you as well, unless you get to orgasm when having sex first. I advise you not let your girl bring you to orgasm. I used to allow my ex to do that and didn't solve anything because she used hard grip too during HJ and BJ and that's bad. Couldn't recondition my brain this way without actually using P.

 

I had a girl I was very attracted to for 5 years. She did BJ and HJ to make orgasm in the end. In the first 4 years together, I didn't masturbate alone, but probably I just replaced my tight grip with hers and that didn't help. Hope for you is different and it will just suffice di without M alone. See if it works no PMO (with no MO alone). If not and you two are very close emotionally, you can just talk to her and I guess she'll be supportive.
I can tell you at first girls may like when their men have DE, but after a while that could hurt the relationship. Hope it's not your case, but just be aware of this possibility.

 

yeah sure, you're even younger than me and this would equal less time. I would recommend you limit porn to a bare minimum if not ban it for good. And you will most likely solve the issue. For myself it's a matter of time. I doubt 90 days no PMO will be enough. I'll go for 180. If I get into a relationship before, I will give up hard mode and just orgasm with her when I'll be able to do so.

 

Thank you, really hope so for the both of us! I've read on reddit many success stories even after 30/40/60 days! I'll do it for ever but it's nice to have milestones.

 

it's all a matter of rewiring your brain. Some could even fap once a day and don't get hard grip, I think us were more inclined in the first place to run into this trouble. Besides, semen retention increases our masculinity and our motivation, that's for sure. I won't give up anymore longer term objectives for 5 seconds of fake pleasure. In your case real pleasure because you're in a relationship atm. It's great that your gf is supportive. Success stories are not that few. It just depends on how much willpower we have to stop PMO until we can orgasm during sex, just sex. I've never have a wet dream, once I get one, it'll be the first sign I'm on the mend.

 

so far so good. We're hitting 30 days. I'll write a report for success stories, even though it's just the start of the journey. But you're doing great too. Just a question? Have you ever done prone masturbation or anyway with an uncommon technique? I did up until I was around 20/22. I wanna dig deeper to find out whether it might be the true cause of my DE.