[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 90 ... I will make this post a bit longer in case anybody is curious about my experience of 3 months monk/hard/NoPMO mode (which I suggest since your brain needs to rest from stimulation of M and ultimately O to recover asap)

This is, hands down, one of the biggest achievements for me. I'm only 19, I've spent 7 years of my life wasting my time and energy into P and excessive M. I am probably part of one of the first generations which are growing up in the era of internet where it's really easy to get to P and various Psubs - be it games or reading stories or watching vids. It's in every medium. That's why I am glad that I'm fighting this addiction (with some success already) before my youth is completely gone.

Okay, so most of you will probably think of those questions: "Do you feel like you are recovered now? Is your PIED gone? What benefits have you noticed? What worked for you while you were trying to resist the urges and what did not?" etc.

As I mentioned, I am pretty much still in generation Z (if we take 20 years as one generation). The 90 days recovery streak is meant to be long enough for recovery ONLY for the people who weren't growing up on P. And that's not me. I still do have pretty strong urges to be honest, sometimes a flashes from vids I liked in particular do pop up in my mind out of nowhere, but it's because addiction is starving out and is trying to make me relapse I even had a dream, TWICE, that I've been watching P and blew my streak terribly. A true nightmare. BUT even though I am still experiencing all these post P addiction symptoms, I am a lot calmer on inside... My head is clearer, it's a lot easier to get inspired, to feel the motivation, to work on my goals. I have A TON more of energy while I actually sleep only 1/2 to 1/3 of how long I originally used to and I still feel a lot more fresh. I am not lazy anymore, I am not procrastinating, I can stick to what I set as a small goal of the day for myself for example.

I've started to eat healthier. I've been working out before the streak already, but now I enjoy it more than ever. My skin got clearer (not a coincidence - everytime I had a streak of at least 7 days, my skin got a lot better - and I suspect it's connected to zinc which is one of the minerals you lose when you O).

I am friendlier, I am not shy anymore, I would even go as far as saying I am outgoing at times. It's a lot easier to connect with people, to talk without not knowing what to say next.

My PIED experience - look, I couldn't get hard without P - and I couldn't get hard while standing at all. Maybe all that is needed to say is that now I don't even need to fantasy, I don't need any stimuli - and I can get hard in any position whenever I want. Standing, sitting, lying. All I have to do is to focus on my body and think for a few second that I wanna get hard. And I will. 100%. I got this ability from my puberty years back again around a week ago. And it's a huge motivation to go on - because it's a real sign I am getting better. It takes time, yes, but it's totally worth it guys

I had a wet dream only once throughout this streak

Now... the first thing I have to say about what held me those 3 months is that it was having someone by my side who knows I am addicted. They don't have a clue in what way. They insisted on me telling what is going on with me because they were very worried, so I confessed to them about the addiction in the end. It was a scary moment, because you are putting at stake your whole relationship with the person while doing that. And either they won't see you as anything else than an addict from then on, or they won't forget all the fun they had with you, experiences of your true bright sight while you spent your time with them, and will try to understand you and support you. I got lucky. To this day throughout these 7 years that person is the only one who knows, I've told them about it exactly 100 days ago, and now I can come here and write about the success with 90 days already, which I couldn't achieve by myself, just me alone, for around 3 years. That's not a coincidence.

The other things are: being occupied, setting some goals (even the simple ones you are lazy about like brushing teeths every day), being around people and just having fun, physical exercise... I even have a note written for myself from the previous year which I made when I felt at low bottom after one of my relapses, which I've read a few times throughout the streak.

I've been posting here for around 2 months, now it's time to move on on my journey I wish you all only the best, and may you all find your way to heal your body, mind and soul And do not ever, EVER, give up on yourself, for you are all worthy of a valuable like - you were born without this addiction, you were born free. That's who you are, you are free in the very essence. But this is the way world is; sometimes you have to fight for your freedom and become someone else in a process, a better man or a woman, a responsible one.

Let the counter count the days for you, don't beat yourselves for the slips you make too much, and focus on what you can actually change; you cannot day how long your days are, but you are in control of what you do in the time it provides.

If you would want to read about my journey a bit more, I've been updating my journal thread everyday since the day 39

Farewell

For her, for me, for us