2686 days ago I was deeply addicted to a very powerful form of pornography & I was deeply in love with God and thought he would help me get through it. Instead my sin was exposed Him and everything else in my life fell away over the course of the next 700 days, leaving me where I am today empty and alone. I miss Him
You cannot be both deeply in love with P and deeply in love with God. You can only serve one master. Have you decided who you want to serve? If you want to, you are most welcome to join us on our journey toward Christ and Christ-likeness!
He misses you too. That’s one of the most beautiful things about God: he is ALWAYS waiting, ready to accept you and shower you with love (and the power to change) whenever you turn back toward him. But the quote that you cannot serve 2 masters is true as well. He is a jealous personage (the only being who can be so without sinning, because he does, in fact, deserve all glory and attention), and he won’t share his glory. So if you are trying to double dip, it won’t work. He will just let you have your sin if you aren’t willing to give it up all the way. This, I think, is the reason I have struggled with porn for so long and that it was so confusing for me as a believer. If I’m a Christian and I’m supposed to have the power of God to overcome sin, and God indeed wants me to, then why can’t I overcome this sin? The answer is that deep down, in the dark flesh of my heart, I didn’t really want to let go of my sin. Sure I did on some level, but not enough. I was abusing God’s grace. I knew I would always be forgiven and so I didn’t take the addiction seriously. I wasn’t really willing to forsake it completely. That changed for me about a year and a half ago, and I made a lot of changes in my life. In addition, as we likely know if you are on NoFap, porn is a real addictive substance, and though I believe in the power of God to miraculously and radically heal people from addiction, I think He very rarely does because it brings Him more glory (and builds more resilience in the individual) to not miraculously do so. Think Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-4. You can do it. The Holy Spirit is your companion and guide, and the power of God is within you to change. You have to choose to do it though. He won't do it for you. YOU have to choose. Every moment of every day.
