The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Day 154... Everything is going great regarding No PMO. I started exercise and meditation on daily basis and I am continuing with it. I have increased from 10 pushups a day to two set of 20 and 10 pushups a day. Also I am doing a meditation of 30mins per day before going to sleep which is helping me with my dreams.
Due to lockdown I am not able to test those interaction and attraction theories but will let you guys know if anything happens.

 

Hey guys. I feel the worst I have ever felt in my life. I feel extremely guilty and hopeless. I feel like I will never be able to get a porn free life. Because after having a streak of more than 80 days, I have relapsed. This is my first relapse since I joined this website and that is the worst part of it. I wanted this streak to be the last but alas, it is not the last. There was not even any pleasure in the porn yet I still did it. I am now starting a new streak. I wont be entering 2021 as strong as I could have but I want to enter it with a streak of 15 days now. If anyone has been in the place where I am today and has then gone on to build a big streak kindly tell me what to do . Give me some suggestions because I am extremely hopeless. Hoping to complete this challenge with only this one relapse and hoping to make 2021 a completely porn free year and the beginning of a new life.

 

Don't get down on yourself. 84 days is excellent. If you keep that up next year you will only have acted out 4 times. that's a whole lot better than previous years, right? I too relapsed after about a 30 day streak and discovered the same thing - that it was not pleasurable. That is exactly what we need, to know that which we used to spend so much time with, is now no longer anything worthwhile. Start again, remember this experience and learn from it. Stay strong.

 

Hey guys. After my last post, I then went to read the guide GETTING STARTED WITH NOFAP. It has given me hope that it is still possible and that it is not the end of the road for me. I identified my mistakes. One was fantasizing about my GF who is far away from me and texting her in a romantic way. Another is binge watching netflix. Those two have led to my downfall. This time I will focus more on my other goals in life especially my studies and I wont watch netflix for more than an hour a day. I will also avoid texting my GF in a way that could lead me to have urges. It has been written in the guide that the first week after a relapse is the hardest so I am going to get through this first week and the the next target will be to keep clean till 2021. I will also be coming here everyday to talk to you guys my fellows and also to keep checking this post of mine and keep in mind these promises that I am making to myself today. Lets go then. DAY 1

 

Thankyou so much brother! Seeing that you relapsed after 30 days and have still managed to get to 92 days now, gives me so much hope. You are right about the pleasure part. The fact that it was not pleasurable is also a sign of progress I believe. And the part about 4 times next year is so encouraging. It would obviously have been so great if it had been only 4 times this year. Your words have given me a lot of hope and I pray that You and I both get rid of this evil that we've got ourselves into. Its people like you who make this forum so effective. If you ever feel like giving up remember, I am rooting for you brother.

 

After relapse on streak of 84 days doesn't make you same as you were in PMO. Relapse is a small hurdle on the stairs of No PMO life. You just have to cross and climb the stairs.
If you are in a game, once you die, you go to recent checkpoint. The binging is the problem. Just be careful for chaser effect and make a streak which makes 84 looks like childs play

 

Thankyou so much! Yup I am trying my best not to do it again. I feel like I havent lost all that progress from the way I feel so the checkpoint thing is definitely true.

 

Day 93 - one more week to 100. Pretty calm for me lately. I've been spending time reading some journals here and have come across a few that were very helpful and thought-provoking. Basically, now trying to figure out how my nofap PMO-free lifestyle fits into the overall bigger picture of my life. That is, assuming I don't relapse into binge behavior. For me, I think I will not consider it the end of the world if I have a reset every few months, but I am not planning on it. Feeling pretty strong about being able to avoid full-strength P. Read an article about dopamine effect on the part of the brain that controls "wants" versus "likes". Described me exactly. It got to the point to where I really didn't find PMO pleasurable anymore (didn't "like" it) but my brain "wanted" it because of the dopamine rush. And so for twenty years I kept at it. Back to the bigger picture - what sort of man do I strive to be now that I no longer have the burden of shame & guilt from PMO and having to lie about my private behavior all the time? Stay strong.

 

Damn these wet dreams. Followed by edging a little. Thank god that I was able to force myself out of that situation quickly. Otherwise my streak was done for.

 

Just reporting in for 110 days completed. Having a newborn baby makes this quite easy, because I’m either busy or too tired to do anything but sleep! But also knowing that going back will only make things worse. So glad I overcame the few small urges I felt in those days before the little one arrived.

 

Good read! Sounds like you are doing well and growing in the right direction! I feel the same way. Returning to the old way is just not worth it. I feel so much better not having secrets and lies.

This hasn’t been easy, but in comparison to the way I was living, this is the easier softer way and I actually look forward to the future

Take Care Tonyk1982!

 

Strike 2 for me @BrohkenCompass.

Oi, this is the hard part. Staying on the horse after relapse. Okay then

 

I feel scared to say this, but that is the last one.
Let me remember this, I will not be coming to say I relapsed again. I will not relapse again.

There's a fear I'm putting too much pressure on.
There's a fear I'll break my word.
But the point is I don't want to keep coming back to this.
I want to be free.

That said, I'll gladly take help and support.

 

Hi @Ian Of Freelandia,

You're exactly where I was a couple of weeks ago, right in the middle of a relapse. Once you are inside it, it's difficult to see a way out. That's because of the "self reinforcing" nature of it.

I had acted out three times in three days, and straight after the third time I knew I was done so I erased all of my porn.

Point is, you will know when you are done with the relapse, hopefully sooner rather than later. One you think you are done it is real important to get 1 day away from it. Whatever you have to do, get 1 clean day and go from there.

Whatever happens we can support you however we can - stay strong, know this is a temporary thing and think and feel how great you felt with the clean time you had before! You can again that again. You just have to start the journey over.

 

Yes, I went 7 days clean after relapse. That's part of what's hard.
Seeing a week had passed by and then, by the same evening, back at square 1.

 

Whenever you start to turn to P, come here instead. Someone will be here to help out. I found this site a terrific substitute for going to a P site and in the process read a lot of great stories about how to beat this addiction and stay clean. Have you reminded yourself of your triggers, and have a coping skill in place for them? For me, I must have my coping skills well thought in advance so I know what to do in an emergency.