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Rebooting and Eye Contact: how long to notice difference?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by The Stag, Dec 16, 2020.

  1. The Stag

    The Stag Fapstronaut

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    I’m curious what your experience is with this. How far into a streak are you when you start to notice you can hold better eye contact?
     
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  2. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    After about 2 weeks.. I was able to hold better eye contact with folks.. And im not really good with eye contact because i wasn't blessed with sensitive eyes.. My eyes look judgy asf..
     
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  3. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    that’s something that, to a substantial extent I have to disagree.

    before I started practicing nofap and I was addicted to porn heavily, I literally could not hold eye contact

    (I had thoughts that everyone was better than me and I also had severe subsconcious social anxiety)

    I know for a fact (for me at least) this social anxiety is 80% because of the chemical imbalance the addiction and sexual exhaustion causes (safe to say).

    I do believe that there definitely is a physical chemical change that significantly hinders people to socialize when fapping excessively.

    Ive noticed this when I started streaks many times, day 1-2 are the worst for social anxiety (each day getting better of course) but I literally cannot go in public or speak in a group or anything. But there is something special about day 3-5. I notice that after that period of abstinence, my social confidence suddenly changes out of no where along with the gain of many many other benefits (energy, dramatically decreased anxiety/depression, mood, etc.)

    It’s crazy, something so sudden may seem literally placebo to the fullest. But I can guarantee for me it is not one bit.

    and also, when pmoing, I use to try to believe I’m confident or at least fake it and I tried everything, everything. and it did not work one bit, but when I’m on nofap, I don’t even have to TRY to be confident. I just am. and like I said, after a few solid days of hard mode this mood benefit turns on like a switch. Not gradually, like it’s off and then on and it stays on for the rest of the streak (minus flatlines, but those are signs of recovery and not nearly as bad as pmo side effects)
     
  4. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    I can say, you are not completely wrong, everyone has their own experiences and everyone is different, but it is true that there is a conscious aspect to confidence and social anxiety, of course.

    nofap allows you to conquer the issues that are in the back of your mind that you have tucked away for so long that you were too afraid to confront while pmoing. I was just leaving a huge aspect of it out.

    nofap is, definitely a huge step and requirement for self improvement and the physiological benefits, but you do still have to put in the work to conquer your fears and problems in your mind.

    I’m going to be honest with you, just so it may be relatable (at least I hope maybe it is for reference)

    my personal issue was that I cared about what people could think of me, and I was in confident and literally perceived myself as a loser nobody that was annoying. I thought all my friends hated me, I thought no girls liked Me, I thought I was weird, etc. I was stupid back then, a simp.

    but then when on nofap , it allowed me to conquer my worst fears. All that stuff I thought was important, girls, ego, what others thought about me, nofap physically helped most of it, but I also had to work on my self and think a lot about my life and confront my issues, my solution was , and it was hard to accept, not gonna lie, that I was just not going to care about friends or girls or ego or others perception of me at all, I accepted and literally changed my perception to how they mattered to me, and I made it so they didn’t matter at all to me. It gave me self respect, I stopped simping (sucking up because I was inconfident, basically) and I started saying stuff for how it was, if people thought I was weird, whatever, if a girl didn’t think I was cute in the mall, I could care less. I realized the most important thing about things in life, 1.) be humble, 2.) be modest, (personality wise, 3.) speak your mind 4.) don’t be a simp, 5.) don’t want what you want. 5 may not make much sense, but you can’t want friends, you can’t want women, you can’t want stuff that doesn’t matter, if you do want them, they’ll come to you, but you can’t want them, truly, don’t make yourself available much, a friend asks you to hangout, don’t always be the one who’s always accessible a phone call away, not saying be a bad person, I’m saying it values you, it makes you respected. Don’t say yes immediately to girls, don’t act like you want them, act like they are anyone else, that’s how it be, man, you just gotta go with it and only care about the things that are truly gonna make you in life, your family, your personal life (job, school, hobbies) and god (if religious) and of course nofap.
     
  5. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Same.. On pmo i would try things to increase my presence and confidence.. But off it i feel like my aura is just cleaner, more solid and masculine. I notice i hit the air different in a room full of people, they feel my presence but in a more postive way.. Its justified in its own right because its natural..
     
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  6. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Very wise observations..
     
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  7. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    as far as to answer your original question, I notice that eye contact is greatly improved (not 100%) but greatly improved and starts to improve at around day 3-5, eye contact is strong and it’s easy to be social and social anxiety is almost non existent by day 20-30. Of course. It still will keep improving over the course of the 90 day+ period. But really 1-4 weeks is when this improves the most.
     
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  8. The Stag

    The Stag Fapstronaut

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    I hear ya on that. I feel like I look either blank or upset somehow. Hm, 2 weeks... I haven't made it that far in a while (despite what my badge says/ said) but this is giving me more motivation to do so. I noticed some eye contact benefits around day 8 or 9 but I'm looking for an even more significant improvement. Too bad I barely even get much exposure to people these days because of covid... so I can't even tell if I'm getting a benefit some days.
     
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  9. The Stag

    The Stag Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your input. I'll have to pay close attention around day 3-5. and try as hard as I can to make it further so I can see if there's more benefits later on.
     
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  10. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Took me awhile to get to 2 weeks bro.. Been on nofap on and off for 2 to 3 years.. Thats why i tell ppl on here its all about getting back up when u relapse.. Eventually ull find that rythm and momentum and itll feel like riding a bike..

    Yeah.. Ppl are eager to engage though.. I can see it when im out.. Ppl dying for conversation.. Too bad im not outgoing.. If i was it would be better for others.. Instead im just on my phone.. Lmao.. I needa work on that..
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2020
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  11. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    That also reminds me of another benefit if nofap, magnetism.

    I (and almost all others I have seen reported on this forum) noticed that when I Pmo’d I’d never fit in socially ever.

    But I knew this wasn’t only because of the fact that pmo had destroyed my confidence and wittiness in social settings,

    For example, I noticed that I could literally say a joke , (I just say it’s funny for an example.) it could be the funniest joke ever, and I would get the most awkward and not fitting in reactions. (Not saying I like attention, it’s just what I factually noticed)

    this I compared to when I am on nofap. I could pull any shitty joke on the spot when I have the benefits of mangetism and people will laugh and acknowledge it, it’s literally insane

    so I know that magnetism isn’t just confidence, it’s something people sense, it’s a chemical sense , maybe hormonal ? I’m not sure. But it’s definitely just not what you say and how confident you are, or your mood. It’s something people can subconsciously sense that is chemically influenced.
     
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  12. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut

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    Felt.

    Same.. Weird to see when ppl react different than b4.. It may be like u said a chemical/hormonal/subconscious thing happening..


    Yeah prolly is all the things i just listed above.. Good post!
     
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  13. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    the benefits that await are truly amazing. Once you make it to about 30-40 days that is when the urges will calm down to the point that you can fight them much easier. By that period, the benefits are through the roof, a lot happens by this time. But it will be hard. Your brain will come up with excuses why you should pmo. Don’t ever listen. It’s just the addiction. Do everything you possibly can, everything, to not relapse. That’s what it’s going to take, but it’s 110% worth it.

    Just be ready for what will come, once you get these urges and fight through them, you life will unlock. Good luck.
     
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