The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 238

 

Day 23.
My wife complains that we rarely make love. When I met her, we had sex every night, sometimes three times, whether I could finish or not. It was for her, not me. Since then, I have shut her down when she tried to initiate so many times that now she never tries. I initiate sex with her maybe one every two or three weeks. She is irritated, because she has to nag me for it. I am going to talk to my counselor tomorrow about this. I love my wife. I want to have a stronger drive for her.
After we make love, every time, I masturbate at least once or twice. I know this is part of the problem. I hope that when I stop, I can have more sex with my wife. I would like to at least be up for it once a week.
I know I am 50 years old, but I should have more of a drive for real sex than this.

Anyway, it is good to be a Hobbit, and I hope to remain one after my wife and I make love.

I am on Book II, chapter 8 of The Fellowship of the Ring. I love these books, and I plan to read the whole trilogy this time. I have only ever read The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, and I stopped there. That was maybe 20 or 30 years ago. It is time to finish. Right now we are in Lorien.

Good luck and happy holidays, everyone!

 

Check in fellowship! With the winter solstice behind us now, expect a fantastic spring and looking forward to festivals! Sooo excited this time

 

Day 62. Walking step by step, and doing my best even in the hard days.

 

Day 15 complete!

@uGes You're doing great! I'm happy for the commitment you're making and I hope you will continue to grow stronger in this fight!

@DudeAlex I'm afraid I don't have much to offer in the way of your relationship, but it's super cool that you're reading the books! I absolutely love them. Once you finish those, what do you think about taking a shot at The Silmarillion?

Yesterday I started reading a biography of Father Emil Kapaun, a Catholic military chaplain, Medal of Honor recipient, and POW during the Korean War. When I first read this book for a middle school book report, it had very little effect on me. Now, I feel like every page is a treasure trove. I can't put it down; it's incredible. This priest is exactly the kind of man I want to be in my own life.

Servant of God Emil Kapaun, pray for us!

 

Day 155

 

Day 12

 

Checking in for day 22. TFed:

1- Meditate: woops! Forgot, will do so this evening.
2- Stay accountable daily : check
3- Study about the reboot : check
4- Take cold showers : check
5- Challenge daily your excuses to pmo : check
6- Follow a triggers prevention plan : check
7- Get occupied. Work in your hobbies and dreams : check
8- Practice physical exercise : check
9- Eat healthy : check
10- Sleep well: check

Cheers everyone!

 

Thanks so much! This is really helpful, I'll work on my own plan.

 

Day 3 is in progress!
Wanted to make a good restart so I cleaned my room on day 1.
I have a hard time sleeping early and getting out of bed earlier, because of the vacation and the lockdown.
Also, I was making progress exercising more a couple weeks ago, but I noticed that I slowly stopped doing this. This, in combination with the lack of sleep and getting out of bed late, probably caused my relapse.
These are some of the things I am going to work on because I know that I can do better than my current situation.
Much love to everyone in here!

 

Checking in for day 18

 

I'm starting my Lord of the Rings Challenge as a Hobbit on Day 16. Meditated at 6am, did some journaling and then searched for work. Urges were annoying yesterday and today, more than usual, so I must be starting the next phase of my PMO journey.

 

Day 70 Complete!!

I've reached Amon Hen, a hill above the western banks of the Anduin. By royal decree, I'm a Warrior of Gondor now!

 

Day 14. I never thought I would make it this far. My sexual energy has definitely returned. I had wet dreams last night and even had a dream of looking at porn that was pretty vivid. Someone was looking at porn and showed me it. I remember my heart starting to beat quickly and getting excited in the dream. I also remember being upset and worried that I had relapsed in my dream! I can't believe how much of a hold this addiction has on me. It inspires me to keep moving forward.

Frodo's addiction to the ring is the best metaphor for what addiction is like. The need to destroy the addiction coupled with the desire to indulge in your pleasures. It really never occurred to me what The Lord of The Rings was about until I started this challenge - a hero's journey in which the individual has to overcome the addiction that is blinding/weakening him in order to become victorious and get his life back. When I was young I read the book as a fun adventure but overlooked the lessons it can teach us. I may start reading the books again.

 

Back to day 0. Usually up to day 6 I receive basically no urges but around days 6-8 I always end up thinking about P more and get many more urges. I'm gutted as well as I failed in every aspect of PMO. There will be bumps in the road but that doesn't mean I can't get over them. We go again.

 

Day 239.

 

Thank you! Happy to be here.