Fapstronaut's Success Guide: The Essentials to defeat PMO

The Introduction:

Ayy y’all! I wrote this when I was in day 200+, now I'm well past 3 years, and I finally got myself to just sit down and share with you guys my experience with NoFap Hardmode, and the wisdom I have gained throughout this entire year, in a practical manner.
This will mostly consist of me listing down what I have learned, what I have experienced and what worked and didn’t work for me. Keep in mind that maybe some of the stuff I’m about to say might not work for you. This is personal, my opinion and my view on the matter, and I hope it’ll help you rethink your approach on NoFap.
There are lots of information to take away from this, so I suggest you re-read it a couple of more times and take a bunch of notes. Most of what’s in here can also be applied to other things in life other than NoFap. Feel free to ask any questions once you’re done reading. Anyways, let’s start.

My Story:

I just want to first talk about my old self, I used to fap almost every day, and while I wasn’t really depressed, I wasn’t that happy with myself either. Things weren’t really that enjoyable anymore, my self-esteem wasn’t exactly high and I had a bunch of ideas and projects that I kept getting motivated for, telling myself and others I would do it, only to in less than 2 days, give up immediately and forget them. I found NoFap and decided to give it a try just for the challenge, then I actually saw all the reported benefits and science behind it, and decided to stick with it, not for the challenge anymore, but because I actually could use this new big change in my life. Fast forward 1 year and now I’m pretty much a new man. I can honestly say I am really happy and a way more positive person!
Overall NoFap has helped me a lot and I have no intentions in going back to my old lifestyle.

How the experience has been going:

I just want to tell you here right ahead for you to not expect NoFap to make you happy 24/7 and turn you into a God! While it does indeed help, you might, of course, get some lazy days, fall into ruts and feel sad too, but for the most part, you feel pretty energetic, and that’s a plus in my book. And when you are happy and shit, it isn’t that special, it’s just the new normal. Also don’t expect NoFap alone to magically solve all your problems in life! NoFap will just give you the energy you need, now it’s up to you to put this new energy to good use! Build new habits, start and finish amazing projects, meet interesting people, develop relationships, find true love, follow your passion, create something you believe in, leave your mark on the world, etc. Doing this is what will actually make you feel happy, fulfilled, and ultimately get your life together.
Another thing I just want to clear out of the way is, urges will never go away based on the NoFap day you’re in! The amount and intensity of urges you get will depend on your current mindset regarding NoFap (and of course, if you’re in a flatline/chaser effect or not). I will cover this later on in this post. Personally, I haven’t had much urges and the ones I do have are extremely manageable and short-lived due to my great discipline and skill to not engage with them and just ignore them, I will also cover this in a bit in this post.

The Essentials:

Now, I will talk about what I have learned, that has helped me get to day 365+, which are 3 main core things (that I will break down and explain in-depth), extremely important information I’d say, so read carefully.

Urge Killing and Why you SHOULD NOT do it- I honestly believe, urge killing, is the dumbest shit you could ever do in your NoFap journey. If you have to keep yourself busy all the time, if you have to do pushups, if you have to take a cold shower, if you have to resort to a “red alert emergency” 30 minutes plan, every single time you’re bored or get a tiny urge or boner, you’ll probably never be and/or aren’t truly cured of PMO! You're just delaying the inevitable. Stop it, you look like a clown! How can you consider yourself cured if you can't even stay relaxed in an empty room without doing anything? If you want to really be freed from PMO, you shouldn’t be killing urges, you should be embracing them, being one with them, completely be able to live your life normally and continue doing whatever you were doing (with them), be neutral towards them! Don’t think of the urges showing up as something terrible and annoying, and them going away as a relief and a blessing. Think of both scenarios as something neutral, regular, and normal.
Realize already that the urges will never go anywhere, they’re a part of YOU so why bother running and killing YOURSELF over them? Might as well just accept them once and for all and live comfortably with them.
Stop running away from the urges with all those “tricks”, because trust me when I tell you, that they run faster than you, and every time you “kill them”, they just get up and quickly catch up to you. You aren’t really killing anything at all technically, nor even weakening them. You’re just exhausting yourself by panicking over them and killing them every time, which ironically, makes you weaker, which will, in turn, make urges stronger.
Urges feed off attention, the more they get it, the stronger they get. So, the wisest thing to do really is just not giving them any kind of attention, both mentally and physically (like: trying so hard to put a stop to the urges, which really just puts more focus on them, therefore making them stronger; over-fantasizing; self-negotiating a possible nearby/future relapse; touching yourself, etc.). Let them starve, and they shall back off quickly!
Don’t get me wrong though, killing urges is way better than giving in to the urges, but in the long term, killing urges isn’t really doing you any favors. Just live your life normally with the urges, don’t freak out over them, the more you ignore them, the easier it gets. See it as something neutral (and as something you won’t obviously engage with), not good, not bad, it’s just there but won't harm you nor change your plans for the day or whatever you’re doing. It can only ever harm you, if you start engaging with it, mentally, and/or physically.
Anyways, IF, and that’s a big if, if you really can’t control yourself anymore in a certain moment, by all means, kill the urge! But whenever you possibly can, please, just try to live with it. This might take a bit of practice to fully master, might cost you some streaks, but in the end, it’s definitely worth it!

Motivation and Discipline- Now in order to achieve what I stated above (live peacefully with the urges), you’ll need some discipline. But before talking about discipline, I want to say some things about motivation. Motivation is beautiful and all, but it’s unreliable as fuck, fuck motivation, if you the type of person who keeps binge-watching motivation videos instead of just getting shit done right away no matter what or how you feel, you aren’t going anywhere in life! You know the deal, Relapse, Get Motivated, and then, Relapse again. It’s a never-ending cycle, but how do you get out of it and make it just a simple non-ending line that doesn’t get back to the start every time? Yeah, that’s right, you add a strong discipline to it. So now, it’s, Relapse, Get Motivated, Fight through shit with discipline and keep on winning until you’re dead! I’m not saying motivation is completely useless, but it’s definitely very overrated. Motivation may feel great and be what gets you to start something like a project or whatever, but the only way you sticking with it and finishing it is with discipline. Motivation is just not enough, it runs out quickly, in less than a few days or hours. Discipline though, you can always rely on it. I know discipline may feel hard and all, but it doesn’t have to be, and the good news is that you can make it easier and stronger over time. All you have to do is practice it, work it out like a muscle, so it’s really as dependable as you want it to be. You can do so by doing things you don’t particularly like, taking cold showers (especially every morning, as soon as you wake up), with meditation, by abstaining from things you like but aren’t really in your best interest to keep around, exercising/working out, etc., etc.
Get out of your comfort zone and in no time, you’ll have massive self-discipline, which will without a doubt heavily benefit your NoFap journey and your life overall. Not to mention that comfort zone usually leaves you soft, zombie-like, and more prone to relapse (hot showers did that to me).

Mindset, Beliefs, and Self-Identity- Just like discipline, your mindset/mentality will also play a huge role in your NoFap journey, and I just, can’t overemphasize enough how important it is.
First, it is an absolute must to have a strong reason and a strong belief in yourself and what you’re doing, a reason and belief you won’t even dare questioning, or at least won’t question often. You must believe in NoFap, believe in yourself, and know precisely what you want, how you getting it, and why you want it! You must have super strong beliefs/reasons, so strong that they won’t even leave any room for dumb excuses with shitty logic. No “just a last time”, No “checking how it feels now”, No “maybe it isn’t even that bad”, No “well, everyone is doing it”, No “I worked so hard, I really deserve just this one PMO session”, No “I can start doing this next month or year”, No “Do I really need NoFap in my life?” etc. No means NO! Work hard on this, cause getting a strong mindset is equally as important as developing a strong self-discipline. Keep in mind though that a lot of drug addicts know fully well that their addiction is not healthy at all, but that doesn’t stop them from hitting the drugs. So, when looking for a reason and trying to strengthen your beliefs, you might have to look beyond just the science of NoFap and why PMO fucks you up (not telling you to ignore the science, just telling you to not focus completely on science alone) and look into stuff like your goals or values or morals or self-identity or religion (if you have one) or spirituality (if you’re into that), and etc., etc.
You must get it in your head that NoFap is really in your best interest, that the best version of you, wouldn’t be behaving like a simping cuck/perv, watching girls or boys he/she wouldn’t ever get!
You also must get in your mind that you aren’t fapping ever again, even if it’s your last day alive, because the moment you even slightly think or convince yourself fapping maybe isn't that bad or that you’re fapping /watching porn/edging/peaking sometime soon in the future or in just a few hours (either cause you planning to for some reason or think you can’t make it or think it isn’t that worth it to keep being on NoFap) you’ll get mad urges, urges which your discipline will have to hold off until you successfully manage to fix your mindset and get your mind straight and fresh, focused again on what you really want. Basically, a guy on day 200 who currently has a broken unreliable mindset will have way way more urges than a guy on day 7 who currently has a mindset as strong as an iron vault.
Honestly believing you can pull this off and win in NoFap, will tremendously help you too, because if you think you can’t make it, then your brain will start telling you to not even bother trying since you can’t make it anyways apparently. Don’t listen to it though, you know your brain is just lying to get some good old dopamine. Get that winning mentality instead and practice some positive thinking, it’s just like any other habit, just get the ball rolling. You got this!
Also, don’t overcomplicate things. You shouldn’t be needing weird tricks like watching yourself relapsing or looking at pictures of you when you were a child to beat PMO! If you think about it, NoFap is easy! It’s literally just, not touching your genitals. It’s literally only that when it all comes down to it. It’s simple, so make it simple! If you see NoFap as something simple and easy, then it will be simple and easy. Thinking NoFap is hardcore will just add to your anxiety and feeling of overwhelm and despair, which will just, turn it actually harder. More people should have this “Just do it” or “Just don’t do it” mentality. There’s a reason Nike has this slogan and why it got so popular. It’s because most things in life really just require that. You just do it, that’s all. Stop stalling with all those over preparations and dumb useless “tactics”, just make it happen already! NoFap is NOT a 6-headed monster, so stop treating it like it is!
Now onto a more difficult and very opinion-based topic, self-identity/self-perception. I believe the way you see yourself will influence your NoFap journey.
If you identify yourself, as a Coomer, a guy who faps, or a loser who can’t stop fapping, then you will, certainly, act like one.
The way I see it, what makes a Coomer, are 2 things, the Coomer mentality, and the Coomer actions. One leads to another, it’s kind of a cycle, Coomer mentality makes Coomer actions happen, and Coomer actions create and/or further strengthen the Coomer mentality, which in turn, will lead to more Coomer actions. So, it’s important to break free of both of those 2 things, cause if one remains alive, it can easily revive the other, like let’s say, you have stopped fapping (Coomer actions) for like 1 week, but you still don’t think you’re a real man, you still identify yourself more as a Coomer than as a Chad, you still can’t firmly say to someone “I don’t fap!” “I’m clean man, I don’t do that shit, it’s beta as fuck, and I ain’t like that!”. You lack trust in yourself, you think you aren’t really meant for greatness, nor do you think you even deserve it in the first place. You think you’re still just a Coomer pretending to be a Chad, and you should really just act like the Coomer you are, after all, a Lil booty never hurt anyone eh? Well, well, 2 hours later, your Coomer Mentality has led you yet again to the Coomer Actions you tried to get rid of!
You don’t wanna be a Coomer though right? You wanna be a Chad, right? But what makes a Chad?
In order to become a Chad, there are 2 things that must be accomplished (just like the Coomer), the actions/achievements that make a Chad and, the Chad mentality, one thing leads to another, Chad actions lead to Chad mentality, just like Chad mentality leads to Chad actions. So, you got to either execute a couple of Chad actions that will aid you in building a Chad mentality OR make a Chad mentality all by yourself which will help you start doing Chad actions (To achieve the second one, you gotta bump that self-esteem up homie!).
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT, OR BETTER YET....NO!! YOU ARE ONE! BY ENDURING THIS NOFAP JOURNEY, YOU ARE THE ULTIMATE CHAD! NOW, KEEP BEHAVING AND START THINKING LIKE ONE!!!

Warning- Reading this once and/or not applying anything advised in here is just not enough, you won’t understand and achieve everything written here overnight or with just 1 read, you must practice, train, take notes, and study a lot. You might fail quite some times before you can truly get it all right, but in the end, it’s all worth it! This also applies to the next chapter “Extras”.
Try not to apply everything taught here all at once though, you’ll get overwhelmed and end up not learning and achieving anything at all. Slow and steady, one or 2 things at a time. Consistency, persistence, and patience are the key.

Extras:

Unfortunately, due to NoFap’s Forums’ character limit, I had to remove a lot of content, but you can read it in a PDF file (or TXT if you really, really can’t somehow open the PDF) I attached to this post named "Extras", and also a little one named "Inconveniences". It’s just below “The Ending”.
I strongly recommend you read the PDF/TXT files (preferably before reading “The Ending”) if you really want to get the full, not incomplete, experience from this article. A lot of the things in it, are linked to stuff I’ve talked about earlier in this post. There’s also a bunch of really important information and advice that I couldn’t quite fit in the other chapters, but here, I had the freedom to. So, do me and yourself a favor, and check it out.
If for some reason, you can’t download, you’re not logged in NoFap Forums or don’t have an account, here’s a link for the PDF/TXT files.
(https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-oBvkR0FAhTT33pylV6eFksxuCWKPi6Y?usp=sharing)

The Ending:

Anyways that is all, I hope this has helped you in some way, and if it didn’t, thank you for taking the time to read this then. I really do believe you are going to make it. Things are likely to get crazier, harder times are sure to come, we are going to lose much, but don’t let that and the uncertainty ever stop you from becoming the best YOU possible! You only ever truly lose, when you give up. In times like this, it’s important to keep your head up, help and cherish one another, but most importantly, remember what matters the most, the gift of life. Don’t throw your life away because of the fear of losing it. Let’s kick the New Year right in the ass and come out on top of it, only to keep on thriving for many more years to come! Stay safe, Stay hard, and of course, Happy New Year!

 

Thanks for the kind words homie! I was aiming for something original, different, and that covers almost everything without being vague. It proved to be a little hard and big, but it's comments like yours, that make every effort put into this worth it! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

Thank you very much too! What you said meant a lot to me. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

Thanks for your kind words, and congratulations on reaching day 28! Anyways, regarding your question, it stopped somewhere between 60-90 if I can recall correctly, I'm not completely sure. Keep in mind though that doesn't mean it'll also stop exactly between 60-90 for you. Every body is different! Anyways until it doesn't stop, you can always try to take a cold shower right after the wet dream, I remember it used to lessen noticeably the effects of the wet dreams.
Good luck with your NoFap journey, Merry Xmas and Happy New Year! =)

Thank you! It brings me great joy that I was able to inspire you in some way.
Have a very Merry Xmas and Happy New year!

Thank you! I love that quote, and how outspoken and knowledgeable you were in this reply. I couldn't agree more with you. Good luck for those upcoming months too, we'll all need it. On the bright side, after all this passes, we'll get to create those so needed good times! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year brother!

 

Thank you so much for the kind words! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Thanks!! Thank you for taking the time to read it. I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too!

 

Thanks my man! Happy to have helped you. Hope you've enjoyed your Christmas (if you celebrate it) and Happy New Year!