how far did you get into porn? ***Warning: possibly triggering content ! ***

Indeed a very sad life.
According to my analysis, The things which lead us to do such stuffs are....

1) When you PMO a lot, you well know that you no longer can have sex like a real man. You can't maintain even a decent Erection. But you see perfect size, perfect Erection in porns, in stories. You feel inferior. You feel useless. You think yourself as a loser. You start feeling your partner deserves more. She might be delighted to have some extra experience with someone stronger(all these thinking are wired in your brain by porn and erotic stories). So unconsciously you appoint herself with someone more capable. And you imagine her with him, you fantasize, you talk about it. You feel good. The days pass and just fantasy can't excite you anymore. Now you need to see it in real. And that's where the destruction begins...

2) When you see porn or read stories, you will might be fantasizing with the actress or character but in reality, you actually masturbate to the sex of two human beings. You see two people.
Now that's what you also want to see in real life.

What sort of a retard are we being made by porn, just think for a while. We are designed to have real sex with women by millions of years evolution, instead what we want to do is to jerk off to two people doing it.

PORN IS DANGEROUS AND HARMFUL than anyone can ever think.

 

It is not easy to explain that. I can only assume that those kind of content is something that pushed my "worth". The joy was to be accepted and glorified. And to be the King of somebody that loves me and who accepts me finally and that person should do everything I want to wish. Such a girl should fight for me and do whatever I want to. In my own family there is no one who cared about my opinions, my feelings, my emotions. And it is hard about talking about controversial topics no matter which topic it will be, since my ultra conservative muslim family, wouldn't accept such a talk. They would see it as a shame even to talk about love. Then I couldn't identify myself with this religion, since alot of muslim people act or think the same way like my family.
And now imagine: You can't talk openly about your own problems and on top of that you miss love, which you can't get because they never cared about you, because they never loved you. That is also the reason why I become a Budhist this year. Because everytime when I am in the near of buddhist people I feel "home", I felt understood without exchanging words. They are always giving me the feeling of being accepted and loved no matter how much mistakes I have done in my life. And this is what I have missed for so long.
To come back to the topic:
Since nobody of my family or school friends truly loved me or liked me, I searched for an escape for reaching to those hardcore porn scenes. I was not a popular student. Some Teacher didn't liked me because, I obviously looked like a foreigner and also I didn't look like a good looking young men. Although I treated everybody always correct, some teachers had always something against me but they didn't make that obvious,....maybe its because I was a silent student, who had not the best grades.
This situation to fight or flight was finally an escape to hardcore porn of becoming a strong men to get out of depressed daily life. I wanted to be accepted and loved no matter what comes. And the woman I love, never could say no to me. Most of the time it was all about sex, because I asked what would it be like to loose my virginity and be finally accepted from somebody, who loved me and who would sacrificed her whole life only for me. I needed that "self-worth" in exchange to feel better. I say that all, because in reality I was always a complete looser, there is no doubt about it. But in the end I was trapped in endless masturbation and hardcore porn sessions that I have watched over a decade and then it is hard to break out of your habits and feelings from hardcore PMO to a normal mind. The normal porn videos became more extreme. And today I can't break through it that easily. I really never knew or had experienced what true love is. I never had a loving commuinty or surrounding in my life. I was just born because my mom and dad would get child support money and years later they would hold me as their slave and I hated that feeling being used by my own family. For them I am just not loveable. Things like bestiality porn was maybe just an exaggeration of my extreme fantasies, which came up years later. Being stronger than anybody or anything else was always what was linked to Power which I never had or never dared to have.
I hope you can understand me maybe alittle bit better now.

 

Don't know about others (well, save for the past 8 pages in this thread), but what's always turned me on the most was sex acts depicting normal, natural intimacy between humans - the "amateur" stuff. I never really was turned on by the "hardcore" stuff that appeared to me as fake and poorly acted.

 

Yeah, it was just showing the lack of real-world intimacy I suppose... Nothing to be particularly proud of. Porn is filth in all shapes.

 

Well, don't talk to those people. My solution.

 

What the hell is guro? Im sure i shouldnt google it

for me it was painal. Being faked or not - the idea of looking for pure sadism isnt really what i connect to my self-ideal

 

great analysis! You are very brave to look at yourself like that. Already a good reason to dont think of yourself as a loser!

 

@Krillin1993 . Still I don't think regressing to a state where you watch some woman being terribly abused and dehumanized, or some perverted act, is any better. If anything it just means you became deeply sadistic and resentful. As a woman I can't sympathize with any of your past deeds.

 

Yes, I can understand to some extent. But it doesn't make any of these negative views against femalekind any justifiable to me.

There is the case of famous killer Mary Bell. She had been extremely abused, and she too killed and molested two younger boys. All to push her worth. What do you feel about that ? As a man ?
Because if men feel better by reducing us, then it can only be fair if we too turned to porn that is dehumanizing to men.

 

I wanted to be open as much as possible and empty my heart and finally I did it and analized this topics for myself. If there is a psychologist or someone who study psychology on this forum I really would like to know more about myself. I think pornography was never a thrill or an atraction for me....it really never was.
It all started as soon a boy on my school told me how masturbation works, but I never asked him for telling me this. All this shit began after this. After I've ejaculated I probably lost alot of semen, I thought my body is sick or something and I was still afraid :/ Being horny and not horny is an up-and-down situation currently. I hope I can suceed my first 30 Days.

 

I got really into gay, bi and trans even though I consider myself to be a straight male. I dabbled with bestiality and the use of large inanimate objects. These really didn't arouse me, it was just the taboo nature of it that I was fascinated by.

 

Never dabbled into bestiality, but oh boy did I have problems with Lesbian porn a few months back, never got into Gay porn, acidentally found one Doujinshi on it with AoT characters but I quickly realized it was some twisted sexual deviancy by some twisted part of the fanbase and not something actually made by the author, Lesbian porn however caught me off guard and I still have problems taking those fantasies out of my system.

 

I was all into solo and lesbian porn. Never got into gay porn.

 

Im not sure if it would help if a psychologist would be here, specially not if he would be someone with comparable issues - what would be most likely the case if you would find such a person here. Why dont you look for one in your area?

I think you truly have a deep inside into your struggles - i can connect to that idea that in a way porn itself - the ACT - isnt that much thrilling but much more what it represent; like as you stated the fact that all those degrading stuff would "mean" that the passive part pretty much admires the active part as some godlike figure. Which could function as a compensation for a minority complexe etc. Im sure that such stuff is often the real background for a lot of sexual acts that people immunize against any form of "critic" with the complaint that they feel "kink shamed" and such.
Therefore i would as well say: "we" aint horny - we have a bad habit. But we aint horny in the sense that our "sexual drive" is on ten and when really want actually sex right now. The best prove for this would be all the stories from guys who actually have a chance to have sex - but take porn instead. that shows clearly that porn isnt just a replacement of sex. porn doesnt answer: unfufilled hornyness (if that word exist hahaha). And im sure a lot of people get lost into it for far more complex reasons then "just having no one to fuck" - thats why i did comment - above - on that possible function of the degrading stuff. And thats as well why i think that "only not masturbating" will surely mosttimes not do the whole job, because there are a lot of other issues intermingled. As wrong as porn is: there isnt only the bad industry, but as well something inside of us, that makes us an easy prey (like i.e. that sort of minority complex: never learn to appraoch the oposite sex etc pp)

 

Everything with the opposite sex .

Then after about 18 years started watching ts porn brain got confused and disgusted.

Now I'm just absolutely disgusted . But I'm shocked that my porn habits now start with cam girls then after this I watch something more extreme . I'm not gay so I don't watch gay porn I'm not a pedo so is never search out for that shit. I'm not a pig fucker so would never look at that shit . There's a limit and the fact basically anyone with a porn addiction will eventually escalate to something I guess mine was the closest thing to my natural attraction to females except nothing like them. At first it was probably shock factor and all that other shit that escalating behaviour and addiction usually does leading you down the road of shit. Now it's gross and disgust me bit I still have the compulsion to escalate.

Porn is an escalating behaviour the more and more you watch the more you need to watch to get the same high.

When you start feeling sick. Disgusted, and the fact what your watching makes you sick but turned on in a weird way because they actually look like females but the reality that this is a fucking male with some phycological problems you know you have a serious problem .

When I watch normal porn or mainly cam girls don't watch porn with a guy . It just feels natural there is no disgust and I can forget about after and move on except the fact that you can get into a bad habit of doing it too frequently. That was about the height of it when it came to how I felt with normal porn .

When I escalated to more and more extreme stuff that actually disgusts me I knew this gravy train had to stop. Because My self control is fucked I can't just watch regular porn anymore because it's likely I will eventually escalate again to the more extreme . There's a massive void that has created a development of compulsive behaviour around porn and eventually you get bored

Of course many years of porn , pixels set up seens your going to get bored eventually . The reason being is there's no emotional connection . When you have sex with someone that you actually care about it's emotionally fulfilling beside sexually satisfying. Porn is just you pmoing to a screen. It doesn't mean anything . Its not a real representation of anything . You can't substitute your dick in your hand off course your going to get bored all the while your twisting you mind to more extreme or disgusting or perverse material . Once i started watching ts porn I knew I had to stop permanently