I have never had a social life. Is that bad or no?

Hello,

I have never had a social life. I have never hanged out with friends or had any friends in my life. I think my social skills were heavily impacted because I’m a shy individual. I get kinda depressed seeing all these people having fun with their friends and boyfriends/girlfriends.

My question is that bad that I have never had a social life or no?

Thanks for reading.

 

“Your story is only told by you.” Never heard this one before. Great quote.

 

“You don’t need anybody than yourself for being happy.” This is somewhat true. Although loneliness can be harmful? No?

Or is loneliness just bad company to yourself?

 

Do you lack a social life because you are shy, or are you shy because you have no social life? Social interactions feel risky to many people, and this is only reinforced if you never practice them or get comfortable in these settings. The isolation can be self-perpetuating. I know this because I had some periods in my life when I avoided these things. And that made it even harder to think about going out. I had low-level anxiety thinking about it.

A social life doesn't have to be clubbing or spending an entire weekend in bars. Something simple like watching a movie at a friend's house, or meeting a few friends for brunch at a diner would count too.

Shyness is often rooted in fear of some kind. I think it's different from being an introvert, where too much time with other people just exhausts you. Many of us are introverts who need a lot of time alone to recharge. That's OK. But this doesn't mean we can't have friends and occasional social activities. Let's say once every week or two you get together with some people for a few hours. These things build support and connection and confidence, and they can just be fun too.

On a more practical level, when it comes to careers, social skills are very important in many jobs. You limit yourself if you are too uncomfortable in these situations. I don't know you, but my advice would be that moving out of your comfort zone and finding a modest social life would be a good idea. It can be small-scale. I'm not talking about becoming the life of the party. But who knows, maybe that will happen! It's a journey. Good luck in any case.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

Speaking from personal experience:

It will suck later on. At first you may think you are fine alone. You will get lonewolf vibes. But slowly and slowly you will forget how to initiate a conversation with someone or how to continue a conversation. I was a shy one too and I spent about 4years alone( no friends, no gf). Things got so bad later on that I developed social anxiety. I tried to avoid any form of talking and I was even afraid to order a burger at McDonalds.
I am now working on myself and my social skills. I don't have any real life friends but I talk to 2 people on social media. Slowly I will take another step into real face to face talking skills.

I suggest you to work on yourself. The sooner you find somebody to talk to the better. It can be anybody a friend or a girl friend. But having a person is important.

 

Yeah, this is sorta the problem I have. I can order food and do normal people stuff, but actually socializing and initiating conversations with people is the hard part.

 

I see what you mean. Thanks for the advice.

 

PMO and Prostitution Addiction kills your drive to want to meet people and socialize because you have already fulfilled your biological needs and desires. The opposite of addiction is connection.

 

Not having a social life isn’t good for your mental health at all. I would recommend outdoor hobbies or something. Having no social life only increases the chance that your going to PMO.

 

Having a social life will make you happier and less time for destructive addictions. Addictions like PMO, Alcohol, Drugs, Smoking, Sex, Video Games, TV, Social Media, Gambling, Prostitution, Internet, Caffeine, Sugar, and YouTube. Lead to low dopamine sensitivity when abused. Addictions like Music and Shopping can lead to Low dopamine sensitivity as well, but when used in moderation won’t. Low dopamine sensitivity is the following:

• Lack of motivation
• Fatigue
• Apathy
• Procrastination
• Inability to feel pleasure
• Low libido
• Inability to connect with others
• Sleep problems
• Mood swings
• Hopelessness
• Memory loss
• Inability to concentrate
• Inability to complete tasks
• Engaging in self-destructive behaviors, especially addictions

If you don't establish sources of fulfillment and natural pleasure in your life, you'll inevitably be drawn back to instantly-gratifying behaviors and activities. Hobbies let you explore interests outside of your line of work. They let you be creative and try all kinds of new things. By building your life around meaningful sources of enjoyment (delayed gratification) instead of empty ones (instant gratification), you can greatly increase your quality of life.

If you drink a lot of water, get regular exercise, healthy eating, responsible financial planning, career planning, social life, healthy hobbies, and sensible bedtime. You will feel a lot better about yourself and more confident.

 

This is interesting information. Although my problem is more social skills than low dopamine sensitivity. This is however good advice, thanks.