1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. @GA93JDeereboy Like you have said, you want something meaningful and spending money on 20 mins just isn’t. It’s an instant fix, instant gratification but in the end a temporary plaster which will make you feel even worse afterwards.

    Ive checked today, but know that I won’t go through with it.

    It isn’t worth it mate.
     
    kammaSati and GA93JDeereboy like this.
  2. Yeah ... it took me many relapses to realize that this time will never be the last time, never. Only one time will be the last time. And that is: Last time.
    Last time is the last time. Last time will have been the last time. Last time was the last time.​

    Speaking of language, I think fake fuck is very accurate :) And for the rest ... honesty is more important than nice words, I'd say. Stay strong, you got this, AND you will end this year keeping your word, walking your talk. Don't drop those undies for cash. YAY.
     
  3. Branchman

    Branchman Fapstronaut

    189
    211
    43
    Covid stuff won't last forever, fortunately. And soon it will finish.

    As Kammasti says, I don't try to deny or fight versus myself, it takes too much energy from me. I try (sometimes I forget this) to accept it, embrace it and handle it. But lately I've been in a low mood, not very cheered up.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  4. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    511
    558
    93
    Yea I’m doing a little better. Year is almost over, should meet up with a friend today for a change. Be good since I just been all cooped up.
    I’ll get thru this,
    Just a matter of time,
    I just hate to be wasting my life.
     
    kammaSati and BobbyBaccala1987 like this.
  5. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    511
    558
    93
    Happy New Year everyone. I suppose it's time we set our goals if you hadn't done already. This 2021 I will see 0 escorts this 2021! No porn! and few/little "M".

    I think maybe "M" every once in a while may be ok but not something regular. If not then no "M" at all either.
    We have to fight to live.
     
    Luvspin68 and kammaSati like this.
  6. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

    465
    881
    93
    Hi - just came across this thread and wanted to engage. 62 years old and hooked on PMO and regular (fortnightly) escorts. Actually, as seems to have been the case with many others this year what with restrictions my acting out rate has almost halved. This proves to me that I can get rid of this addiction - over time.
    For me one of the major issues was/is the absence of guilt. Either I blanked it out or maybe over the years I've eroded the ability to feel any kind of negative vibe over visiting escorts. While a small number of events have been negative, the majority are pretty positive and some downright fantastic so my addicted self is saying "why not". Fortunately the opportunities are less and the cash is less so the rate of occurrence has significantly reduce.
    Best wishes to you guys out there wrestling with this form of addiction. Ill keep in touch and will try to offer support to others on the understanding i'm not exactly a shining example of how to stop...
    Happy new year all, let's help each other make it a clean one.
     
  7. Hi and welcome and first of all: Happy new year. Of course you are a shining example :) We all are. Cause with our aim to quit, the work we need to do to accomplish, the struggle, the possible relapses, the learning, getting back on track ... with all that experience, which in your case is your unique experience which then you share here we all can learn, give and get support. It's progress, not perfection. As Maria Callas once said when asked why she would listen to all the students her singing teacher had (she was the first one in the morning to come and the last one in the evening who left, listened to them all, she replied: I can always learn something from anyone, even the ones that cannot sing.
     
  8. Wok

    Wok Fapstronaut

    17
    29
    13
    Hey guy
    I want join this group as this is a real problem for me.
    I've spent thousands of escorts of the past few years and it's not been worth a single penny. I suppose thats the marker of the addiction, you keep going back to indulge your fantasy even though you know its pointless.

    Anyway, before yesterday I had a good no PMO streak going on. I relapse and I tried to go see an escort. The only reason it failed was because she gave me the wrong address so I got pissed off and left. Now I'm trying to restart my streak and it's hard as I keep thinking about just having a quick look to see who is 'working' today. My brain wont stop thinking about it
     
  9. Hey @Wok

    Your in the right place here. Seeing escorts is the next step after watching porn and then paying for porn.

    Like you I have spent a fair bit over the last 5 years. Never enough so my wife got suspicious but £50 here and £60 there. It all adds up in the end.

    I never saw an escort for sex, more indulging in my fetishes and fantasies. Your paying some one who has no real interest in who you are and what you truly want, even if you have made it clear and described what your into. Most will do anything (within reason) for the money.

    It’s an utterly soulless experience. Every single time I would go with an adrenaline Rush, pent up feelings of hornyness and would almost every time leave within 15 mins nervous, guilty and feeling like I had chucked my money down the drain for a quick high.

    Did I still check sites recently (before adding blockers)? Yes, but I know I’ll never take the next step of booking and doing anything other than sending a few emails and seeing if they respond.

    I know my limits now. I just have to continue trying to work on those limits and make sure they change.
     
  10. Wok

    Wok Fapstronaut

    17
    29
    13
    Heyy bobby thanks for replying. Really useful insight, i felt exactly the same way when going to see one. I'd always come out the other side guilty and ashamed after. So it's stupid really that I keep wanting to go back for more
     
  11. Its unfortunately our addiction mate. The rush of dopamine we get when we go on the website, send a message, book, get ready and then leave to go is almost ritualistic. We’re not thinking about the consequences, just the thrill of moment. The moment that buzz ends, the guilt and shames clouds us (even more so if we are married or in a relationship).

    It’s a ride we have to get off. I mindframe we have to reprogram.

    It’s hard but we’re all in this together.
     
  12. Welcome to the thread and stay safe and strong. The right time to start. Happy new year.
     
    Wok and GA93JDeereboy like this.
  13. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

    465
    881
    93
    Hi @Wok and all fellow Escort addicts here (yes, that's what we are/were) well done on the long streak and good luck with the next one.
    It's been written about a great deal in other threads how the trigger "system" works - one quick peak and then one quick email or message and then you're over the waterfall and heading off for a £60 event that you know you shouldn't do and you know you will regret.
    What are we thinking?
    Avoid that "quick look" and odds are you will avoid the whole stinking process. Small almost insignificant triggers feed the next level triggers and the only way out becomes the full acting out event. Distraction is your friend.
    And have you tried recording your stats over time? what days are you completely clean of thought or act? What days are you besieged by temptation but still resist and what days are you acting out? If you have the stats you can see the progress and set yourself goals and targets.
    Best wishes and good luck in your efforts to kick the habit.
     
    Wok, kammaSati and BobbyBaccala1987 like this.
  14. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,672
    2,242
    143
    Day 3 post escort binge. Now don’t want to ever go back.
     
    kammaSati and Semaphore like this.
  15. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

    486
    1,825
    123
    Just wanted to come in here and tell everyone that you can do this. Recovery is possible!! One day at a time! Don't lose hope, don't give up. No matter how many relapses, no matter how many "slips" or whatever you want to call them, never stop trying.
     
  16. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    2,672
    2,242
    143
    Day 4, I will succeed!
     
  17. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

    700
    1,044
    123
    The problem is that it is just so easy.

    There is one particular escort agency that I frequent. Just look at the online calendar and the photos, make the phone call and book the appointment.

    Arrive at the hotel, call the agency for the room number, knock on the door, drop the money, take a quick shower and then I am making out and having sex with a gorgeous hot woman. She knows exactly how to suck and fuck.

    No effort, no games, so easy, so accessible and so addictive.
     
    Semaphore likes this.
  18. Seems you are happy with it. Easy yes. As easy as buying a drink at a bar, just drop those coins on the counter and get pissed. As easy as gambling. Just feed that one-armed bandit. Hm ... I hope you do not expect us to applaud you. Or her.
     
  19. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

    700
    1,044
    123
    The bold is my point exactly. The italicized misses the point completely.

    The point I am trying to make is that because it is so easy to arrange for sex with an escort; it makes the addiction worse. You picked up on that point with the drinking and gambling addiction. Quite the opposite of being happy or wanting to be applauded.

    Using the gambler addiction example: If the casino had a profile not allowing this person in, gambling would not be as accessible which may help the gambler overcome the addiction.

    Using the alcoholic example: If the bar will not serve the alcoholic, less accessibility to alcohol may keep the alcoholic sober.

    To have have a sexual relationship with a partner is more difficult and takes more effort, but is far more satisfying both sexually and mentally. It is the guy in the relationship that should be happy and applauded.

    The john with easy access to an escort will end up depressed and scorned.
     
    kammaSati and GA93JDeereboy like this.
  20. RDucky

    RDucky Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    109
    206
    43
    You are fortunate your wife didn't find out. I did. And it did kill me. And our marriage. And his relationship with his own kids and so many other people.
     

Share This Page