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Im a pedophile so nothing even matters

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by mAtHy0o, Nov 3, 2020.

  1. as long as your not harming other people, we live in a messed up world its not exaxtly fair is it, you work with what you got and how you live with it is who you really are.
     
  2. TheProcedure

    TheProcedure Fapstronaut

    @mAtHy0o tell me your story. what was life like for you growing up and what's day to day life like for you these days
     
    GeeJ likes this.
  3. jferdig73

    jferdig73 Fapstronaut

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    I understand your pain, I have very unhealthy desires myself at times of compulsiveness. I have never acted on those desires, but they are still very real to me. The only reason I do not end my own life is because I do not want my 6 yr old son to ever say to himself "why wasn't I enough for dad to try". I have recently went back to therapy AGAIN. I will be starting medication soon, and I am also starting to hold myself to a standard. I won't say a higher standard because that would not be realistic at this time. We all have to start somewhere. I hope and pray you can find some piece and acceptance to all the wonderful parts of your life. I would be happy to talk one on one if you would like.
     
  4. Exoffender

    Exoffender Fapstronaut

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    It's not only very rude. It's untrue. Pedophilia is a recognised mental disorder and not a fetish you can get rid of just by nofap. I unfortunately know all to well...
     
  5. mAtHy0o

    mAtHy0o Fapstronaut

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    I can’t
     
  6. TheProcedure

    TheProcedure Fapstronaut

    how come
     
  7. mAtHy0o

    mAtHy0o Fapstronaut

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    I carry a lot of guilt. Honestly suicide really seems like the best decision.
     
  8. TheProcedure

    TheProcedure Fapstronaut

    direct message me first
     
  9. TheGreatTiger

    TheGreatTiger Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps Consider Surgical Castration

    https://io9.gizmodo.com/men-can-live-20-years-longer-but-theres-a-high-cost-1678274234

    It can add a decade onto your lifespan, and the earlier in life you go through with it the longer you could expect to live.

    It could also simplify and make your nofap journey much easier. After Castration you could take up things like meditation and sports to improve your mood and wellbeing.

    The Official name of the operation is a "Bilateral Orchiectomy". You could just tell the doctor you're pursuing a life of celibacy for religious reasons. It won't change your outward appearance but leads to loss of sexual interest, so you can pursue other things in life.

    I just looked up the cost and I'm seeing about 5,000 USD to 7,000 USD. If you don't have the money, saving for this could be a goal for you.


    Since you're already considering suicide, you might as well try this to see if you can improve your life. Especially since this is probably the easiest solution to your problem.

    And I don't think it would be ruining your life, there's tons of things you could wind up really enjoying in life especially after you've taken care of this issue you have.

    Why not YOLO and see how it goes? What have you got to loose?
     
    HaveAMiceDay, CArT_Vader and zen life like this.
  10. nghia_haribol

    nghia_haribol Fapstronaut

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    Bro, your mind can be messed up but you are the one who picks and choses your actions
    just because your mind and your body are horny for kids does not mean that you have to follow
     
  11. Exoffender

    Exoffender Fapstronaut

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    Virped.com really helped me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2020
  12. TheProcedure

    TheProcedure Fapstronaut

    sup @mAtHy0o . where's my direct message?
     
    Divine By Design likes this.
  13. mAtHy0o

    mAtHy0o Fapstronaut

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    I don’t wanna get castrated
     
  14. mAtHy0o

    mAtHy0o Fapstronaut

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    If Suicide and castration are my only two options I’d rather kill myself
     
  15. Not sure what everyone else has told you but i recommend Jesus, seriously. He can purge you from all addiction and affliction, you would be surprised by how many illnesses are caused by demons, hearing voices, seeing things, its all demonic.
     
    pancakebaker99 and Roady like this.
  16. TheProcedure

    TheProcedure Fapstronaut

    happy new year @mAtHy0o haven't forgotten about you
     
  17. Divine By Design

    Divine By Design Fapstronaut

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    For what it's worth, having these compulsions yet choosing not to act on them, is way more common than you may think. You're not a freak. It may take some time and effort but it's definitely something you can learn to live with.
     
    HaveAMiceDay likes this.
  18. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

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    your parents had sexual relation ... lol?
    ok i'll see myself out.
     
    TheGreatTiger likes this.
  19. TheGreatTiger

    TheGreatTiger Fapstronaut

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    Then it's good that those aren't you're only two options. That's just the easiest option to satisfy your implied goal.

    It sounds like you have other goals in life that you believe the operation would impede. I don't know what your other goals are.

    But I can suggest to you to define what it is that you want in life. Do you want to be attracted to some one your own age and in a close, loving and satisfying relationship with to them?

    If this is the extent of your goal, then you're in luck because many existing conversion therapy methods have been able to achieve this:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_therapy#Studies_of_conversion_therapy

    If your goals are more advanced then YOU can be the one to push that scientific field forward. You have a huge need it seems, to change yourself, and if existing methods are not feasible for you then that is a HUGE opportunity.

    If you solve your own problem, you can make a ton of money selling the solution to others. This is how many people get rich.

    Many genes are involved in physical attraction and a cheap epigenetics kit can alter your genes. But I'm no expert, that's just one possible starting point for your research. Another would be to research existing conversation therapy methods and where they succeed and where they fall short. "Conversion therapies don't work" is a politically correct oversimplification of a large body of research. There are many methods that do have a significant effect on many people. And so what if the effects don't last forever? The effects of exercise don't last forever, that's why people keep going to the gym.

    You'll probably have to do a lot of research and experimentation on your own to understand how the biological system around attraction works. Some lab tools are expensive but others are cheap. Be resourceful.

    Another solution is mindfulness and learning to control your thoughts. Monks have grown the power of their minds to not give in to biological urges or thoughts, to deny cravings, so you can look into that.

    So you have plenty of options but a good starting point would be to stop looking at yourself as static "I am X" but as an adaptive organism. Every aspect of you from your bone structure, to your muscle mass, to your fat percentage, to your hormone balance, to your thoughts, to your habits, to the neural patterns of your brain can be change once you understand how those specific systems grow and adapt.

    If you choose suicide, you may not be missing out on a happy life; few people ever live happy lives, but you could easily be missing out on an interesting life. "Interesting" is often just a matter of how difficult the problems you choose to take on are, and how much relentlessness you bring to the table.
     
    dsr81 and Its-Gonna-be-tough like this.
  20. So have you got a plan to kill yourself?
    And have you attempted to self harm or kill your self in the past 6 months?
     

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