68 days - First sexual dream

It's been 68 days and last night almost had a wet dream, that has to be a good sign. Social anxiety is more extreme than ever, and depression is still there. I can feel some benefits emerging though for sure. I'm transforming my life, meditating every morning, eating healthy, facing fears, pushing myself to socialize, exercising. All this is just happening naturally.

Some problems are getting more intense and obvious though, the social anxiety and shame about not having lived the way I know I should, it's up in my face a lot more. I quit alcohol and caffeine when I started this nofap thing and it's been challenging cuz going to Christmas parties where everyone's drinking, I been getting so self conscious and I want to drink to be less self conscious but I'm refusing to drink, I want to be stronger and braver so I can just have a good time and dance and all that stuff without drinking, I know I can do it, just a matter of just doing it.

I got no urges to masturbate ever and I can only be aroused by real females in real situations now, this is probably a good sign. The idea of porn makes me feel sick, I can barely understand how I was ever attracted to it.

 

Some superpowers are emerging. I quit drinking when I started this and it's been put to the test with New Year's parties happening, I did what I'd usually be scared to do drunk, did it all sober. At one point a sexy girl asked me to dance with her and I didn't hesitate for a second, I just did it. I struggled like mad with not getting an erection, especially the way she was doing that ass dance thing (twerking). I had to say no to her wanting me to dance second time cuz I couldn't contain the erection. I don't think I woulda been able to dance with her if it wasn't for this nofap thing.