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Asking for your opinion on my situation!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Roffelaar, Dec 31, 2020.

  1. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Hey fellas!

    I'm in a bit of a difficult situation right now. Because of covid I haven't been able to really go outside and meet women and together with doing NoFap I have been getting a little bit desperate for love from a woman. I used to have a few women that I could go to for a bit of fun, but haven't seen any of them and I don't have any feelings for these girls.

    I've started working at my current job about 8 months ago and I've got one female co-worker that I really connect with a lot. The first 5 months I didn't feel anything for her at all, but slowly as I get to know her more and more and we get more close to eachother I start to fall in love with her. I haven't really felt in love with someone since 6 years time. At work some colleagues do not really like the amount of the attention I get from her and about the amount of time we are talking to eachother.
    She always wants to cuddle with me and since a month she kisses me on my cheek during the cuddles. Yet she cuddles with more guys from work (I am supervisor and technical manager at a packing company that works with low to moderate mentally disabled men). She is a support for those guys.
    She also tells me how much she likes me as a person and that she has never met someone like me and blablabla. She even wants me to live with her if she would get her own house (she's on a waiting list for an appartment) But she also tells me that guys tend to fall in love with her easily and that she never really chases guys herself. Maybe I'm giving too much info, but I get a bit confused about her (that's maybe why I like her).

    ANYWAY, the struggle is... I do not really care about expressing my feelings towards someone, but the fact is... she is a single mother of a 1.5 year old child. She is also the daughter of my boss lol. I am great friends with my boss though, we have a great relation together.
    However I really struggle in holding back my emotions towards this woman, but I am afraid of the outcome of it all. It's not my kid, she's my colleague and daughter of my boss so If I really see this wrong it might get very awkward between eachother and I am still thinking about working there another year. But I also don't want to get frustrated with myself for not trying it on her and missing out if she does feel the same and then being a frustrated guy in love with someone from work for another year and becoming a very unhappy person.
    What do you guys think about this? Should I tell her and deal with the outcome to not be frustrated for the rest of my time working there or should I just keep my mouth shut because I will never be a father to the kid anyway... or any other suggestions?

    I've been willing to let this off my chest for a while. Hope you guys have a clearer view on my situation and could give me your opinion.

    Thanks <3
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH and Agent 6 like this.
  2. NoEdgingForever

    NoEdgingForever Fapstronaut

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    I stopped reading here.

    Bro, don't shit where you eat, there is plenty of women outside.
     
  3. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Yea the fact that she is my co-worker is not my main concern.
    And yea bro I know there's more women, however I haven't felt like this over someone before in a long while.
    It's just that kid and the fact that in the end it will not work out, but because of my feelings for HER it's hard for me to not make a move. I feel like I'm gonna regret it and miss out on some fun.
    But maybe that's just my desperate mind taking over.
     
  4. NoEdgingForever

    NoEdgingForever Fapstronaut

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    If things get wrong, you'll miss your job and not some fun
     
    Roffelaar and Roady like this.
  5. Connecting from desperation WILL lead you to problems.

    I see some redflags in your posts.
    You better talk to a good friend, your father or whoever you trust in real life in stead of asking advice from totally strangers here.
     
  6. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    You are coming from a bad place. A man that is happy with his life is not desperate from love, he would like to be with someone but don't need to be with someone. This desparation of been with a woman is going to affect you decition making when you need to avoid woman that have a lot of red flags.

    You never date her... there's no way you are in love with her. You really don't know her outside of work. You are in love with the idea of been with a woman, you are desparate for love and you see her as a way to satisfy your needs.

    Who cares? people are gelous. Don't bother about what people think.

    This could be a way that she have to let you know she is into you or just been friendly. You say she does this with other man too.. so is not for sure.

    This is a good sign. She likes you as a person but is doens't mean she look at you as a potential partner. She could only like you as a her friend.

    Again, this could be as a romantic partner or just roomates.

    Woman chase the man that they are interested in. When a man shows they are more interested in her than she is they stop chasing. She is also telling you that she gets turned off everytime a guy fall in love with her that fast. Woman love a challenge, a man that is served in a silver platern is easy and boring.

    Yeah... we love what we cannot have. What is hard to get is more appealling.

    Never do that. She already told you that she don't chase man that are in love with her too fast. If a woman is not chasing you she is not interested in you and you don't have a chance with her.

    This is a huge issue. There are no benefit to date a single mother over a woman without children and there are a LOT of disadvantages. You can google them.

    No no no. This is trouble and drama knocking on your door.

    And you should. Don't f*k with your job. Is not fun to be jobless, never compromise your life for a woman.

    I strongly suggest you to get over her and don't get yourself into this trouble.

    Move on with your life. She is trouble, there are a lot more woman out there, don't get hunged up with a woman that have too little to offer and so much risk involved.
     
  7. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    Play this tape all the way to the end. What do you think is the outcome of all of this if you just go for it and tell her your feelings ?
    All I see is utter destruction.
     
    Roffelaar, Agent 6 and Roady like this.
  8. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Hey, thanks for replying this well :)
    Correct, I am not the happiest person, but also not the unhappiest. Has got it's reasons though which I am trying to fix already :p

    I do know her quite well as a person, we talk about how we are and who we are all day, part of my job aswell. But really knowing her outside work is indeed a bit different. I'm just thinking with my dick here and not really with my brain. She is a very fun person to talk to, but I am only imagining her in my bedroom. It's just a bit in my nature to make a move on someone I like and I feel disappointed in myself if I didn't try. But from hearing you guys and rethinking the situation myself, you guys are totally right and I should be really careful what I do here. Her kisses make me little bit weak, because that's when my attraction to her raised exponentially.

    I do agree with your points. She is the only sort of attractive woman in real life right now that I see on a regular basis. Haven't been out since covid 19, so the desperation is obviously there. I already decided to take a few steps back and try to just focus on my work and not be so flirtatious anymore. And as you said.. she might get more attracted to me by doing so, but maybe not. I will try to move on with life and try to interact a bit with other women for a bit of distraction.

    Thanks all :)
     
  9. Agent 6

    Agent 6 Fapstronaut
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    No. At all costs.

    It is hard to ‘see’ your own situation, because you are blinded by the many distractions, and your actions are very emotionally motivated right now. Let me explain the facts for you to ‘see’ the logic and red flags:

    -Your bosses daughter
    -Coworker
    -Single mother
    -Wants you to move in w/ her
    -You still want the job

    Looks like you are about to be trapped into a ‘beta male provider’ situation. She has a child from a prior relationship. When a woman is in this situation consciously or subconsciously they have a ‘lower value’ in relationships and are willing to settle. She is settling for you. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT. Do not raise someone else’s child, provide for her, and lose your job when things go bad (and it could) because her father is YOUR BOSS. Listen, I am not telling you what to do. I am saying the POTENTIAL for things to go bad are most likely high. YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY RULE. If it’s NOT...You’ll be doomed if you proceed. This is a recipe for disaster. (Solution?)

    Focus on your job / goals and improve yourself and your life. When you have an ideal life you will be spoiled with choices of genuine quality women.

    Continue the fight

    -A6
     
  10. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Thanks buddy,

    I need to hear the stuff you guys are saying. I would never raise that child and would never provide for her in the end. I've got other future goals that I'm working towards. I just want her love and to make love to her, but everything else that comes with it is not my interest. Selfish thoughts from my side. Reading your replies I am starting to feel a bit of shame for even posting this, but it's good to have that and to realize how wrong I am thinking.
     
    NoEdgingForever, Chefb87 and Agent 6 like this.
  11. Doesn't sound too complicated to me. You like her and she likes you. Dont care too much about what everyone else thinks. It may be inappropriate to flirt at the workplace but make sure to set up dates when you are not working. A lot of people find their girlfriends or boyfriends at work. It is not unusual. The more time someone spends together the more they usually like each others.

    Just go for it. And dont ignore her kid. That kid is probably the most important person in her life.
     
    hulkfresh23 likes this.
  12. Dont take my advice too seriously anyways. I am reckless. I screw up big time at least once a year. But I am careless when love is involved.
     
  13. I have a royal fuck up on my CV from 4 years back. I was dancing with my crush but I held back on kissing her since at least two other guys was hitting on her as well. Her roomie asked us to have sex and I said yes. So we went home together the three of us. My crush bailed and I slept with her roomie instead. Big fat fuck up and I ruined my chances with her.

    Edit: I have to just kiss my crushes and dont give a damn if other people are watching.
     
  14. It doesn't come from a place of love for yourself but lack.
    That sums up everything :)
     

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