Emotional Instability is horror tripping endlessly - Please help me

When I want to give something a big deep think I walk. No music, preferably in the forest with minimal strangers. Less people are out in the mornings so that's when I walk. If I have a problem I find that after about 1/2 to 3/4 miles uninterrupted I start making better progress. If I don't have a problem I just focus on walking, and whatever I do end up thinking about is generally sharper than it would be if I was in the basement.

Note that Einstein walked 1.5 miles to Princeton and then back every single day.

Figuring out what you want to do with your life can be tricky. If you just work hard and skip the part where you figure out what your purpose is, then there's a problem because work becomes a grind: meaningless toil. I don't exactly know what's going on with your life, but it seems like you don't have a direction to move towards.

A goal can be as abstract as:

Spoiler: My original goal

"this pattern I'm stuck in isn't working... I want to be better than this"

but you really gotta believe in the goal you have.

 

You can get out of it my friend. I'm much younger than you and I know what this inner instability feels like. It feels like your whole world is being nuked and you're doomed, that you're alone and no one cares about your life, that nothing is possible, and that we have wasted too much time on our vices to actually get moving in life. You're not alone.
But trust me, the last thing you want to do is give up (or be a "Doomer" whatever that is). You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you, and the only battle you're facing is within your head, within your own control. You must begin developing good habits that will help you not by telling yourself that you will but that you must!
There are people in the world facing problems far more severe than you and I. Disease, recovery from accidents, poverty, hunger, corrupt and facist governments (like the one where I used to live), and death. Remember that every time you feel this pain.
It's easy to give up on life, but it's not right. It will only lead to more regrets later on. So get back up on your feet!

Good luck on your journey my friend. I still have hope that you will achieve your goals and a better life! But you must have hope in yourself too!

P.S. if you need any advice or want to talk, just holla a message at me via the forum or DMs.

 

Hey man, I'm prob way older than you, 27, and I'm a fackin carnival ride inside, are you saying I'm destined for entropic death?! I've relied heavily on benzos and porn and alcohol at different times, and even went so dark as to hurt myself to try and even out all the unstable energy gyrating my cells and blurring my life... And I've also tried throwing my hands up, deciding all is hopeless, all is lost, shaking my head at god or the universe or whatever for making the mistake of making me, I've done that so many times.

Something that's become starkly clear as I age is that life has a constant flip-flopability to it... Whether I think back to younger innocent days, or to a really good party night, or to the times I did follow through for myself and do something really great, well like it or not, those highs always faded back to me being just regular ole me... And the same goes for the darker parts, I've sunk to lows that make me shiver just thinking of them now but... The reason they aren't paralyzing is because they always always always have faded in time, life has always boomaranged back to level, and I'm just here, sipping coffee and being me... I'm real emotional and get caught in that a lot, but if I'm being honest, just being... It really isn't all that bad, and sometimes it's pretty fuckin fun.

I dunno exactly what I'm trying to say but I felt like I really had to say somethin to ya man, cuz it sucks so bad to feel like ya do right now. I guess just remember that old line "this too shall pass", and also... As easy as it is to look around and see doomers left and right, and to only feel the painful stuff inside, I think if we really pay attention there are just as many people out there that found a way through their own hellish circles and came out the other side that much more full and strong for it. And if we really pay attention to ourselves, there are a lot of little moments in a day that really aren't all that bad, and maybe even pretty good and... If we focus on those, our attention alone breeds positive weight and momentum, and pretty soon you're moving again and out of the damn quicksand.

Hang in there brev! At the least, we're all here with ya!