The Final Vice

2020 has been a tough year for everyone and as a start, congratulations to everyone who made it through!

For me personally, about halfway through the year, I had lost my job and turned to heavy drinking, heavy smoking and PMO to try and make myself feel better.

But around September I decided enough was enough. Firstly, I put down the smokes and once that became easier, I decided to put down the booze in October. It’s been over three months now and I haven’t felt better. This gave me so much time to be able to focus more on myself and I’ve finally found a better job.

Now the final vice needs to be kicked and that’s PMO. I’ve lingered around here for years and the most I’ve made it to is 36 days. I’m determined this time to make this 90 days become a reality and I will use this thread as my journal.

I wish you all the very best for the coming year!

 

That’s the first day conquered. I usually find it the hardest but I’ve found that putting my phone away from my bedside helps me a lot; especially in the early days.

It’s sad to hear about the death of Gerry Marsden today, he made some inspirational music. I think ‘You’ll never walk alone’ applies to most difficult situations and especially the current global status quo.

This song also applies here a lot. We are in this together, looking for more ways to better ourselves so we can create better relationships with ourselves and others.

You’ll never walk alone!

 

That’s another day down. First day back at work too. It’s not uncommon for me to get those negative thoughts on a Sunday night about work the following day but I genuinely enjoy my job. Last night, I laid in bed and couldn’t sleep well due to self-doubting thoughts and anxiety about today. But it actually went well, I really believe that you can overthink most things.

I’m hoping this will help me become more confident and stop doubting myself so much. Bring on tomorrow!

 

Another day down. It seems to be going well but I won’t get complacent with this. In the past, it has always been the times that I have let my guard down, that have caused me to relapse.

 

Day 0: Back again, recently had a 10 day streak and felt great. Crumbled the last two days so hopefully this will help me get back on track. I haven’t binged so still feeling ok.