Space Marine January - Team Deathmatch (CLOSED)

Checking in on Day 1 of the New Year and New Month for the Black Templars, great to see some new faces and some old allies returning! Go out there and battle this thing Marines, Deus Vult!

 

DAY 1 Ends
Check in for BLACK TEMPLARS

 

May I join the Dark Angels? I wish this fight will lead to our victory

 

Day 1 completed.
Day 2 checking in.
Black Templars

 

Checking in for the Black Templars! Can't wait to rock this month with my fellow Chapter members and with all the forces of the Adeptus Astartes. Deus Vult!!

 

Reporting Month 1/12.

Can I please join the wolves?

 

Reporting month 0/12

 

Checking IN for DARK ANGELS!

Yesterday was tough one. I had headache -> I drunk a lot last days (3 in a row) a no wonder I felt like shit yesterday. Today I can already see I feel better. Dont have headache and can feel a bit more energy.
This morning could have handled better. I spent some additional time in bed searching news and some random stuff which could be dangerous when my streak is longer and temptations higher.
I must say I dont observe any strong urges. Maybe because I am really careful with my thoughts and spent most of the last days around people. Also its only day3 without fapping so yes its not that long.

Today going to stay busy -> meditation, reading daily stoic day2, some work and time spent with family

 

Checking in for the Black Templars

Super tired today. I tried to get back to my normal sleeping schedule and managed to get up early, but then I decided to have a nap that escalated a bit. So struggling a bit with that. Maybe I'll have a cup of tea.

 

Checking IN for DARK ANGELS!

 

Day 2, checking in for the Space Wolves! Spent this morning walking around my city trying to create a comedy tour of some of the area - hoping to start that in the summer and have it as a secondary form of income alongside my 9-5. It's not even 2 o'clock and I've racked up 16,000 steps, going to go for a run later so I'll probably be in the region of 25,000 by the end of the day!

 

Checking in for the Space Wolves! My current streak has been the most effortless thus far. The foremost reason being I have gotten some very good information from the book You Are Not Your Brain.

 

Day 2..

Emotionally feeling sad
But overall much stable than I was in October, November..
Still way to go...
Lot of things I kept in shelf...
Regarding productivity etc etc stuff...
And i really want to accomplish all of them..
Hopefully

 

@Primaris yes I agree and thanks for reminding me.

Another day and I feel like shit again. Headaches are killing me. I thought it was only because of the heavy drinking last 3days, but now its the 2nd day in a row and I didnt drink a single drop of alcohol. Also was very careful with drinking water - drunk enough. Went outside to get fresh air. Ate healthy. Still I feel like a numb zombie. No energy, no drive, no passion.
I already had Covid 5 months ago, so I dont think I have it again, but for sure I feel exactly the same, even worse.

Also urges are kicking in. I am also in the mood - FUCK EVERYTHING!

I need to get heatlhy ASAP so I can start working out in my friends small gym. I feel like when my stnd 4x/week workouts are back again, I am happy and completely different person.

Now reading what I wrote I feel like I am just such a negative, crying, ungrategul bitch - going to post it anyway. I even had to make some edits to make me sound a little bit less bitch heavy

 

Checking in for the Templars. Strong urges hit me like a brick. Fun times on a Saturday afternoon.. Anyway, activities saved me from downfall. See ya!

 

DAY 1 Ends
Check in for BLACK TEMPLARS

 

Day 2 completed .
Day 3 checking In.
-Black Templars-

 

Where my fiercely loyal SPACE WOLVES at???
Give me a fiercely loyal howl to start this 2021!
AAawwwwuuu..!

Sergeant vicicool at your side! Sending more power to you!!

Here's a good question...
do you remember how you felt the first time you saw P?
I remember... I was shocked and my soul felt very unsettled.
Wish I would have listed to my conscience in that moment and just clicked away.
It was literally so loud in my head...shouting me to leave. How dare I ignore it? From then on it had to fight the new persuasive voice in my head.
This sentence I once heard is very true: "You can never have peace if there is battles going on inside you."
The battle of the voices in my head was tiring. I wanted peace.

"I'd rather be a lover, then a fighter." That is a song lyric. I found out these are the words a resignated fighter says, a fighter who has given up, thrown his sword to the ground.
That's how I felt. I was tired of fighting. So I gave up fighting and accepted "my weakness".
By giving up the fight I surrendered to the enemy. At least there was silence in me. But there was no peace.
The war is never over in this life, so the enemy had taken me, like a war-prisoner.

I was not going to stay in that prison, that is not me, I want to live freely in the world.
God showed me a way out. Through the marriage of my bff, a year ago I started to believe in love. Now she is in labour about to recieve an amazing son!! Praise God for his life-giving love!
He lead me to NoFap, he gave me his armour, he gave me back my will to fight, my warrior spirit.
Or as my primary school teacher wrote in my report card "she has shown us that in her, there is a "fighter-heart""
I realized that being a lover and being a fighter is the same thing.
Love isn't all sweet and happy, it's also sacrifice and to bare each other in love.
There is no greater love than to die for a friend.
So, always keep that warrior Spirit inside your heart burning. For me it's devotion that ignites it.
I would describe devotion as a mix of loyalty and passion.


The latest thing God showed me two days ago:

PROVERBS 3:3
"Never let loving devotion or faithfulness leave you.
Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."
5+6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,and He will make your paths straight."​

And above all God gave me Grace (!) to fight this battle (Grace is also described as "the power to do")
So more power to you, by God's will!
Hope my story motivates someone, who read!