How do you fight your battle to win the war?

I'm looking for advice on how to combat the urge to relapse. I try to remember the usual tactics of distracting myself; changing my activity or position, going for a walk, but I have been unable to abstain for more than 30 days over the past 4 years, and I am committed to conquering my addiction.

Only when I attempt to abstain from PMO do I notice the 'urges' that lead to an eventual relapse: the sudden overwhelming arousal, convincing myself it's alright to relapse and to try abstaining again the next day, and the feelings of irritability, depression, and guilt. These are obviously symptoms of withdrawal, and I acknowledge that I'm an addict, but when the urges come I lose most of my willpower to continue abstaining.

If anyone in this community has any short and long-term advice, wisdom, reading material, or practical tips on how to fight these urges, then I would be immensely grateful for your insight.

I would also love to discuss any suggestions, I hope that this thread can become a source of help to many other people too!