Guilt with inappropriate sexual act

Learn from the past mistake and never repeat it again. But it is easier said than done, cuz when u have that urge again, your mind could be telling you “it is okay for this one time only” and you would find yourself doing whatever that you will regret later on. Find someone that u can communicate with to help you battle with the “demon”.

 

Three things:

1) How did you end up doing this act --- go into the deep recesses of your life (with a therapist). i was with one for 1 and half year and it helped me figure out, my childhood was the reason, and how to cope with it (to some extent). it at least provided temporary relief.

unhealthy atmosphere at home during childhood --> immense social anxiety --> constant bullying throughout life --> no self-esteem --> very less friends --> loneliness --> resort to porn for affection --> escalation --> --> --> your current regret

find out the seed of where ur act came from. then you can stop repeating the act in the future.

2) How to avoid doing this act in the future --- consider the analogy of a football / cricket game. you have a football match 3 months from now. if you watch tv, eat pizzas, binge on beer the entire 3 months, you wont stand a chance at winning.
vs
if you practice regularly, eat healthy, sleep on time... the chances of you winning the match are significant.

once u've installed grindr, chances are very high that you'll end up repeating the act. the dams of self-control have already broken.

i've installed a phone lock so i cant use the mobile for some time. i set it at 7 hours in the morning before setting up my work station.
stay away app works fine for me.

do other stuff as well-- visit a therapist. i go to the gym regularly. on sundays i ride the cycle or jog. played football the other day. and badminton as well. though i played crappy at both the games.

my counter says 5 days but i havent watched hardcore porn for many weeks. the latest relapses were to vanilla porn. though even that's not healthy.

this poster at my gym says: the more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat.
going to gym didnt help with my regret but i'm glad i'm going.

3) How to get over the regret of what you've done-- unfortunately i dont have much advice here. therapy helped to some extent. but i still regret what i've done. each moment.

i guess the regret will be there for a long time but it doesnt have to consume you. a therapist can help you better with this.

its okay to mourn the regret for sometime. if ur feeling bad, acknowledge it. dont try to fight it off and party and say: yolo, i have no life regrets.

i used to say that earlier n ended up repeating the acts i regretted.

 

This makes me sad to read. I hope you forgive yourself, and truely understand that this was not you. This was the extreme porn trying to take advantage of you and force you to act out an extreme scenario just so it could bathe in the shock that the act produced for your brain.

Anyone else suffering with hocd or extreme porn escalation or anything else please take this post as a reminder to never act out ever. I have experienced all of this stuff in the past, (without acting out) and now it’s gone for good. It goes away. But if you act out it, it may stay with you forever.

OP I wish you luck friend.

 

As a general point, it is important to understand the difference between what a psychiatrist can offer compared to a psychologist. Here are the definitions. I think you will agree that a psychologist's approach would be more helpful.

Psychiatry is the medical specialty devoted to the diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of mental disorders. These include various maladaptations related to mood, behaviour, cognition, and perceptions.

Psychology is the science of mind and behaviour. Psychology includes the study of conscious and unconscious phenomena, as well as feeling and thought. It is an academic discipline of immense scope.

 

it took me a lot of convincing to go to a therapist. 1st i went to a psychiatrist who wasnt much helpful. he just prescribed meds and was on his mobile as i narrated my issue.

i went to him thrice or 4 times. he had a counsellor. she was helpful.

as IGY said, psychiatrist -> medicines.
psychologist / therapist -> talk therapy, give you insight.

after that psychiatrist i went to one more for once but nothing more than that. then at college we had a psychologist, he was helpful.

i went to him for a year and half.

i understand. even i was super reluctant to share my stuff. for 4-5 months with the psychologist, i spoke around the issue but not the 'actual' issue. it was only later when i got convinced that hes a good psychologist, did i confess.

it helped me firm my ground till the therapy lasted.

it takes around 3-4 months to find out what the actual issue is and after that another 3-4 months to figure out a solution. also finding right psychologist takes time.

 

Read about stoicism