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Jagliana's Journal | An S.O's perspective

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by Jagliana, Feb 4, 2018.

  1. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1024: 01/05/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) YouTube.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me a trifecta, even though he was in pain himself, I appreciate that and also feel bad about it, I told him we can skip it but he insisted. We watched a funny movie on Amazon Prime, "Yearly Departed" and it was pretty hilarious and featured a lot of female comedians.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Finding Inner Peace and Happiness In Your Daily Life", in this episode, we get some great tips on finding inner peace and happiness in your daily life. Remember, even in the midst of life's many storms we have the capacity to stand in the center of our own peace.

    This morning, we couldn't walk (yet again) but still found some time to listen to "Why You Shouldn't Feel Shame for Choosing Not to Have Kids" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss how to deal with shame, guilt, and blame placed on you for making the decision to not have kids. They discuss how to deal with self-same and judgment, why they themselves decided to not have kids, and why being selfish when it comes to personal decisions is okay. Both Wade and I find some of Lisa's responses a bit, well, underwhelming, sometimes we wish it was just Tom responding.

    Today, Wade has to take a nap, but for now, we are running through the remote learning routine. Hoping for a stress-free day.


    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Not shaming myself for not walking, as I usually do.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    7 Stoic Exercises For Inner Peace


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  2. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1025: 01/06/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Listen.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, happy about the GA results! woohoo! anyway, after the trifecta, we watched some tv. Wade got into the show I recommended to him before, but he refused to try out lol now he really likes it! then I went to "bed" and he went to work.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to The Art of Making Adjustments In Life", in this episode, Freddy Fri talks about making adjustments in life when it becomes necessary to do so. Remember, when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

    This morning, Wade wasn't feeling well and neither was I, we skipped our walk and he went to bed early. While the kids did their remote learning I listened to "This Is How You Get Better Sleep and Improve Your Health" a compilation interview with seven influential speakers, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. After the kind of sleep I get, I think I needed this refresher course LOL. During this compilation, they discuss why you should seek sunlight during the day, how working out in the morning leads to better sleep at night, how to be conscious of making sleep a priority, why you have to stop eating hours before bedtime, how to eliminate stress in your life for better sleep, how different types of light influence your sleep, and why you should consider cannabis for improving the quality of your sleep. I will try to implement what is feasible for me.

    I think I really need to figure out a better diet for myself, especially with all of my GI issues and being stuck in this plateau that only slide UP and never down anymore. I would love to change my eldest's eating habits as well, but that will be more complicated.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I'm happy that my silent nudge got my eldest interested and researching in the HS I would like for her to apply for.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Adjusting To Life During The Coronavirus Crisis


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  3. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1026: 01/07/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, as we watched an attempted coup, an insurrection at our Nations Capitol in shock and horror, Wade was trying to distract/calm me with a hand and foot rub, nothing was working though. We did try to watch something lite, but it did not last long. Shortly after he went to work and I tried to fall asleep.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to How To Think More Clearly Even When You're Under Pressure", in this episode, we learn some tricks on how to think more clearly even when you're under pressure. Remember, if you are sure you understand everything that is going on, you are hopelessly confused.

    This morning, we walked and listened to "The Psychology Of Compatibility" an interview with Spirit, on the Mel Robbins Show. Spirit, a relationship therapist whom Wade and I enjoy listening to. Here she answers a few questions about the compatibility of couples. Like, what does it mean to be compatible? how do you know if you're truly compatible with your partner and her method to know whether or not you are a good match called "Rises", which stands for R (Recreational Intimacy), I (Intellectual Intimacy), S (Spirit Intimacy), E (Emotional Intimacy), and S (Sexual Intimacy). It was short and a good listen, we enjoyed it and are happy to report that we are compatible on all fronts.

    Now, it is time to just breathe, if my kiddos will let me.


    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Marcus Aurelius: How to Think Clearly


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  4. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1027: 01/08/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Exercise.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was great. I really appreciate it and it still, to this day shocks me that I don't have to ask, anything like how it once was. We watched all of the late-night hosts no longer joking but in total shock about what we just witnessed in our Country and calling out the traitor's/insurrectionists for what they are. Wade left for work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to How to Stop Taking Things Personally", in this episode, we learn how to stop taking things so personally. Remember, there is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

    This morning, I woke up extra early, so I got my day started right away. I was filling out a special couples (yearly-day by day) journal that Wade and I have been doing and the question today asked what steps will I take to accomplish my goals. That inspired me to find a good workout, walking in various ways (cardio) that promised to give me 3000 steps within 20 minutes. He did not lie, I reached over 3,000 steps by the time I had to get my girls started with remote learning. While the little one was in the middle of her class, I was able to listen to (thank you headset!) "The FEAR OF INTIMACY & 5 Ways to Overcome it" a video by Kati Morton, a licensed therapist. She starts by talking about the fact that there are many articles out there and she has heard from many that we have been told the fear of intimacy comes from social phobia, or anxiety disorders. Here she talks about where this fear really comes from and more of the root of the issue rather than what co-morbid diagnosis we have. She believes that the fear of intimacy comes from us not having a secure attachment. Now, remember, a secure or not secure attachment is something that is created when we are young children or babies. If we have a smothering parent we may grow up worrying that we truly express ourselves and what we are feeling, we may only upset them more and make things worse. On the other hand, if we have a neglectful parent we may not express what we are feeling or going through because we know we won't get the love and support we need. She gives us 5 ways that we can overcome it! - CBT & DBT Therapy are best for the treatment of this. 1. Practice expressing how we feel & communicating our emotions, 2. Using "feeling sheets" You know those pages filled with emotion words that you can circle. These are great to identify what it is we are feeling, 3. Practice reading other people's emotions, 4. Be patient. This can take time and practice but know that it does get better and easier as we stick with it, and 5. Practice calming techniques. These could be breathing techniques, distraction techniques, or even stretching or yoga. Whatever you can add into your day and lifestyle that help calm you down.

    Hoping for a chill day.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Got 3000 steps in before 8 am.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    6 Signs You Take EVERYTHING Personally


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  5. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1028: 01/09/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, after a lovely trifecta, we took our minds off of the news of the day and watched the latest episode of The Expanse. Then Wade left for work and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Understanding Mindfulness and What It Really Is", in this episode, we get a better understanding of what mindfulness really is. Remember, the mind is just like a muscle, the more you exercise it the stronger it gets.

    This morning, we listened to "Why You Need To Be Brutally Honest About Your Values" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss the most important values you need to be aware of with your partner and how to communicate them in an open and honest way. They discuss why you have to be vulnerable and open up with your partner, why you have to hold onto your passions, why recognizing beauty and attractiveness should be normalized, what unconditional love really means, why you need to embrace commitment, how to overcome feelings of jealousy, and much more. Wade and I have different takes on how we see others, our first 12 years have left me with a hollow/empty foundation when it comes to feeling safe and secure in our marriage. Since real recovery, he has been making strides to change that, but I just can't shake those fears/triggers that keep haunting me. How, before all this, I never really cared much if he glanced here and there, but when it got to the point of no return... where he would ogle everyone and their mother, while completely sidelining me, making me feel like I was a ghost, worthless, ugly, unseen, unattractive and 'married but single', that is why I do not feel confident/secure when those women are around, that I'm still the one he wants - even now, almost 3 years into his recovery/changes. I can only hope he means what he says now, but it still does not compute for me, how he could have the 'pull' to everyone but me and now it's the opposite - how? given this history. This is the problem I've brought up to him, time and time again. I do not know if living like this, will ever stop for me. Will I ever get to a point where I feel safe and secure? What if it never comes because the fears will always outweigh them? is this sustainable for us as a couple to continually deal with these doubts, having the same conversations over and over, I don't know and it scares me.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: 2150 Steps in 17 Minutes, before my little one woke up.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    What is Mindfulness? Simple answers, profound meaning


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  6. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1029: 01/10/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) FitBit.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I used a pricey shampoo and conditioner, omg my hair was so full of volume and life after, it looked awesome. Then Wade blew it out and I looked like I had just walked out of a salon. He is really good at pampering me who would have thought?! haha. Then, he gave me a lovely hand and foot rub, as we watched some TV.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Why Making Assumptions Is Harmful In Relationships", in this episode, we learn why making assumptions is so harmful in relationships. Remember, do not believe everything you think.

    This morning, we ran an errand and didn't really have time to walk. As Wade waited on one of our orders, I went ahead and walked in and out of aisles, gaining an extra 1,000 steps to add to my counter. Before 6 am, I did my exercise and gained 2,000 steps in 20 minutes. My new goal is to get 6,000 to 10,000 steps a day. I am not eating so great though, this is an area I need to revisit shortly but I'm trying not to overwhelm myself. It's time for a change though.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Got 2000 steps in before 6 am.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Why you should not make assumptions


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  7. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1030: 01/11/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, my brother asked for us to help in our in the game we all play, so we went ahead and did that. Therefore, we skipped everything else and just watched a little TV after, before heading to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to 7 Best Foods to Eat Before Bed for Better Sleep", in this episode, we hear about some of the best foods to eat before bed for better sleep. Remember, sleep is the best meditation.

    This morning, we listened to "Why Your Constant Need for Validation Will End Your Relationship" a Q&A, on Relationship Theory with Tom & Lisa Bilyeu. During this set, they discuss how you can get out of your own head, shake off and silence your inner negative voice, and adopt a growth mindset within your relationship. They discuss why its critical you break any patterns of negative thinking, the importance of being real and openly honest with your partner, how to allow your partner to challenge you in healthy ways, the power of adopting a student mentality, and why loving the process is a non-negotiable when pursuing your passions. The title here is a little misleading, this one was more about feeling jealous of your partner, which could lead to invalidation of yourself and how to avoid it. Good listen for couples.

    Look forward to a relaxing, drama free day.


    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: 8,000 steps before noon.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Our Top 7 Foods to Eat Before Bed to Sleep Better


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  8. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1031: 01/12/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I was in so much pain, we decided to play the game a little, but sitting in that position was making my back worse. Time was ticking, I was tired, he had laundry to pick up, so I kept reminding Wade of that, but he kept telling me that we were okay (that we still had time, so we could keep playing). I made a comment about my pain and he joked, 'Yeah, I got the hit, you want a backrub" or something like that, a remark he made earlier in the day too. I don't like those jokes at all, he knows this. I already feel a great deal of guilt about those trifecta's, now I will feel even worse because, from my end of it, I feel the perception that I'm purposely making these comments in order to give him a hint of "you better give me a massage". He swears he doesn't see it that way, but what he says changes nothing of the seeds that end up getting planted in my head with each little comment or joke he makes. He wanted to still give me a back rub last night, I didn't want it, luckily we ended up with no time for it - so we didn't have to have a debate about it. He still gave me a hand and foot rub, watched some tv, but the whole time - all I could think about was how awful I must be for putting him in a position where he feels like he is required to give me this special treatment, even though it's not something I require nor deserve. But he is doing it because he feels obligated and now I'm making him feel even worse about it because I brought up that I am in pain.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Smart People: 10 Habits Usually Associated With Intelligent People", in this episode, Brainy Dose shares some interesting thoughts about some of the habits that smart people are known for having. Remember, the smarter you get the less you speak.

    This morning, during our walk, we listened to "How to Fast the Right Way" an interview with Dave Asprey, on Health Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Dave is a two time New York Times bestselling author, CEO, and founder of Bulletproof 360. They discuss the hidden benefits of fasting, what to avoid when starting out a fast, and how to apply ‘fasting’ to every area of your life. They discuss the many different types of fasting, the pitfalls of hardcore fasting, what defines a fast, the healing power of fiber on your gut, how to eat and still be in a fast, what the true benefits beyond weight loss are of fasting, how to lower inflammation in the body, spiritual fasting, how you can begin fasting in an easy, yet effective, way and more.

    I enjoyed exercising with Wade in the wee hours of the morning, that was fun, I just hate the fear of making noise and waking up the kids early, luckily, they slept through it.

    Wade went to go take his nap, I'll be working on his video, then adding in some more steps with another workout, and then starting my low key dinner goals this week. I want to see if having a protein shake or salad for dinner, instead of a normal entree with help with my weight loss goals. My next goal will be to find some healthy, tasty, low gi dinner entrees that work with my stupid gut.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Had a good time working out with Wade.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    The 10 Struggles Only Highly Intelligent People Have


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  9. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1032: 01/13/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade was listening to a very good video about the effects of PA on spouses and the various degrees/types of betrayal trauma. Midway through, while the speaker spoke about one of the stories, she mentioned this woman found out about her husband's infidelity/addictions when she went to her gyno and was told she had an STD, which caused her to be infertile. He made an insensitive remark or "joke" as he put it, something to the effect of "well, at least you didn't have it that bad!". The funny thing is before he could finish his comment, my instant internal response was "are you kidding me!? like what you were doing behind my back, with them was any better? it was filthy, disgusting, etc". Anyway, my head hasn't been right ever since, it put more doubt in my head, I felt invalidated and even if he was trying to make a joke, this wasn't a topic to make a joke about because now I don't know whether he just doesn't think that the trauma he put me through for 12 years was 'that bad' or 'that serious' and it hurts, really bad.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Staying Strong When Facing Adversity", in this episode, Freddy Fri has an inspiring message about staying strong when facing adversity. Remember, adversity is preparation for greatness.

    This morning, I woke up depressed and defeated, I was not in a good mood. I didn't feel like working out, however, I did make myself do it. I also forced myself to go for a walk when I wanted to skip it because Wade couldn't go. My mind has still been on the remark from the night before, I tried to listen to my audible, but I don't think anything 'went through' so to speak. Wade did pick me up, before we went upstairs we spoke a little in our parking lot and he told me he feels awful about last night. I don't doubt that but the fact that he thought to make such a "joke", says a lot to me, puts that little seed in my head and further confirms my fears/doubts, when I think "well, I want to believe him, but... what if it's too good to be true? what if this is being played up to make me believe something that may not be true?" << he did spend 12 years lying to me after all... "what if he really isn't remorseful for his actions, or understand just how much he hurt me? and everything he is doing/saying, is only because he believes that is what I need to hear?" or "what if he is a little sorry, but doesn't think it was that bad, but will do whatever he needs to do in order to make himself look better in my eyes?!" THESE are not the thoughts I wanted to have two weeks before his 3 year recovery anniversary, two days ago - my head was in a completely different place.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Still worked out and walked, even though I was not in the mood for it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Winning The Mental Battle


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  10. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1033: 01/14/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, after a pain-reducing trifecta, with a bit of small talk... we watched some TV, however, I because really sleepy and wanted to turn in earlier, so I did. Wade left for work, he was given the first dose of the Moderna vaccine there. I'm still on the fence about what I should do.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Helpful Strategies For Overcoming Procrastination And Laziness", in this episode, we get some helpful tips and strategies for overcoming procrastination and laziness. Remember, procrastination makes easy things hard, and hard things harder.

    This morning, I woke up at 4:30 am and could not fall back asleep, so I decided to get my workout in earlier. I hit about 3000 steps before 6:00 am, which is great, because it gives me less of a reach, later on, to reach my goal of 10,000. Once we dropped off the girls at school, on the way to the mall we discussed his "joke" and why it affected me so much. I told him how it distorted my perception of things, but at this time, given all of his changes and progress, I will give him the benefit of doubt and take him at his word, that it really was a stupid, insensitive "joke". We went on our walk, during the walk we listened to "Build A HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP With Your Partner" a video by Jay & Radhi Shetty. It was a lite and cute couples Q & A video, a lot of the stuff we've heard from them before, nothing that clutters your brain with noise.

    Now, I am going to go enjoy my few hours of alone/quiet time.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: We talked it out and worked through our issue.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    How Procrastination (slowly) Ruins Your Life


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  11. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1034: 01/15/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, I am grateful that Wade still gave me the trifecta, even though I told him it was fine because his shoulder hurt a lot after the Covid Vaccine. Seems he had a similar reaction that I have to the flu vaccine. I hope it does not last long though, the other guy who got one with him felt so bad, he had to call out sick. Now I am even more paranoid about potentially get one myself. After, we watched some tv before I began getting really sleepy and wanted to turn in.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to Having Trouble Sleeping? Mel Robbins Is Here With Some Help", in this episode, Mel Robbins has a message for those who are having trouble sleeping these days. Remember, happiness is only one of the by-products of getting enough sleep.

    This morning, during our walk, we began listening to "What to Do When People Doubt You" an interview with Janelle Ginestra, on Women of Impact with Lisa Bilyeu. Janelle is a professional dancer who has a tour with the likes of P!NK, now an in-demand choreographer, social media influencer, and dance entrepreneur. During this interview, they talk about loving your own body, and how to ignore negativity by focusing on your own journey, how she needed intense, honest criticism to become a successful dancer, “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel inferior, insufficient, or not enough”, vulnerability and strength, how she deals with competition, body image and diversity, they discuss her positivity how she lives her truth, how she avoids burnout and she advocates a strongly pro-choice political position. This was an 'okay' interview, nothing too inspiring in our opinions. One thing neither of us agreed with was when she said that you can mix beginners with advanced students because everyone is in it to win it, so they'll all be happy for each other, no matter what. That's just not realistic or true. If someone who is a mid-advance level photoshop user, pays $500.00-$1000.00 to Adobe for a 2x week/4-week course, advertised as an "advanced user class" to learn newer more complicated techniques, but they allow any user level to join, promising this class is for any level! so they decide to accommodate those beginners and spend the first two weeks teaching people how to open photoshop, what tools are in the toolbar, which tool does what... there are going to be a lot of very unhappy customers looking for a refund and NOT people going "well, I know I just paid $750.00 to learn something I didn't know, but so far I have not, but at least this novice now knows how to save his file onto his desktop!". Anyway, there was a trigger there, it was not pleasant, we spent the whole car ride back speaking about it and the conversation was nothing new to either of us.

    I wish I could take him at his word, but I just don't know.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Had 8,000 steps in, before 11 am.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Having trouble sleeping? Me too


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  12. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1035: 01/16/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Workout.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, after a soothing trifecta, we watched the premiere first two episodes of Wanda Vision on Disney. It was cute, but neither of us knows how we really feel about it yet. Then, he left for work, with his arm feeling better (thankfully!) and I went to bed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Doing Hard Things: How To Trick Your Brain To Enjoy Doing Them", in this episode, we get some great advice on mindfully doing hard things. Remember, all things are difficult before they become easy.

    This morning, Wade was tired, we couldn't go walk, so we went to the supermarket instead. Luckily, I started my day off with a workout and already got myself over 3k steps in, before leaving the house. Now, I am catching up on some of my personal and freelance accounting stuff. I am also watching Big Sky, like Wade asked me to, so far I think I like it.

    Still need to get some more steps in before I can really relax for the day, then I am free.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No major triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    How I Tricked My Brain To Like Doing Hard Things


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  13. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1036: 01/17/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we had another incident. He was trying to give me a compliment, how he was proud of me for keeping up with my goal of reaching 10k steps per day. Midway through that compliment, he cuts himself off from that compliment to then begin telling me, how there was a woman last night on one of his calls (something he conveniently forgot to mention in the morning) who he knows he would have ogled in the past, someone who would have *REALLY* triggered me, emphasis on really, but that he was strong and did not ogle her. Then he goes right back to trying to finish his compliment about me. Of course, that whole conversation triggered me, like why would he start thinking about that hot woman from the night before, as he is trying to give me a compliment??? what does she have to do with this? or is he projecting his subconscious thoughts > that if I am getting more steps in daily I am going to lose more weight, so maybe I could look more like that hot woman from last night? he said he doesn't know why he said it, that he rambles and has random thoughts - but it was all pretty clear to me. It hurt me and planted a few more seeds of doubt in my head, in regard to his attractiveness toward me.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "How To Achieve Goals: 3 Golden Rules For Setting And Achieving Goals", in this episode, we have 3 great tips from our friends at The Art of Improvement on how to achieve goals. Remember, vision without action is merely daydreaming.

    This morning, we began listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Lori Gottlieb, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Lori Gottlieb is an American writer and psychotherapist, who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic and the author of ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’. We didn't get into much of it, yet, but so far we heard them discuss how do we create better relationships with friends, family, and partners and the importance of wise compassion when dealing with those you love. We really liked her other interview with Tom, so I think this one will be good too, especially when my headspace is better.

    Now, that Wade is taking his nap, I'll be doing my business accounting stuff.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: I'm depressed, but at least I am still getting my steps in.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    The Simple Way to Achieve Every Single One of Your Goals


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  14. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1037: 01/18/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Family Time.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we took down everything 'holiday', watched some tv too. In between, we had some impromptu intimate time, twice.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Ditching Your Unhealthy Eating Habits Including Sugar", in this episode, we learn why now is a great time to ditch our unhealthy eating habits. Remember, don't ask why healthy food is so expensive, ask why junk food is so cheap.

    This morning, Wade joined me for my exercise videos, we both really enjoyed working out together. Then, we did some morning stuff before heading off for some family time with our little one, our eldest declined the invitation. We had a delicious lunch, but of course, there was a big trigger for me, from the minute we walked in, till the minute we left. First, she took us to our seats, then, of course, she ended up being our server too. All I could think about was - what he was probably thinking about... her body, her ass, being able to see her over my head as we sat there for a while. When we got into the car and were heading home, he asked me if the trigger had gotten easier as the lunch went on, because I seemed okay. I explained to him that I learned how to put on a show, I'm not going to be rude to our server just because she is someone he wants to look at, that's not her fault, and 'it is what it is, I am used to this happening - all the time, at this point, there are women/triggers everywhere, this is my life now. I'm also not going to ruin the family lunch (in front of my little one) by expressing my true mood. However, keeping up this act, when I am triggered does really weigh down on me, it is so exhausting.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Faked it till I made it.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    HOW to quit Sugar & Unhealthy Habits


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  15. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1038: 01/19/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, we didn't revisit the trigger, there was nothing more to say, I know what I know, it is what I believe is the truth. As he gave me a hand and foot rub we watched the movie "TAG", a comedy, but it was getting late, so we only got through half of it. Then, we called it a night.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Social Anxiety: Understanding What It Is And How To Deal With It", in this episode, we get some very helpful tips and information on dealing with social anxiety. Remember, you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.

    This morning, we had fun exercising together again, I was able to get over 4k steps before we even went on our walk. During our walk, we continued listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Lori Gottlieb, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Lori Gottlieb is an American writer and psychotherapist, who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic and the author of ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’. During this part, we heard them discuss what happens when we don’t deal constructively with our emotions, how much shame shapes our personal narratives, especially for men, and tools to help you heal from the damaging effects of shame. They spent a good amount of time talking about men and vulnerability, how it is important - when asking a man to be more open with you, that when they actually are - you hold their space, instead of trying to emasculate them for having fears, crying, or being emotional. I hope I am providing such an atmosphere for Wade, I believe we're both available, to each other.

    Later today Wade has a doctor's appointment, the little one is done with her remote learning and our eldest has a remote HS open house, not sure how that will work.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Don't Worry, No One Cares


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
  16. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

    576
    938
    93
    Is there specific women that trigger you, or specific body shaped? Is this something your SO is expected to try and limit (obviously he can't help who serves you lunch, but maybe other times)? Does he know in the moment like "oh shit" or is this something he figures out afterward when you tell him? What's the best way he's ever helped you through it?

    I ask just these in case I might learn something to help my wife.
     
    Jagliana likes this.
  17. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    He ogled everyone and their mother, however, there was a specific [body] type that he really paid way more attention to and those types of women have really become a big trigger for me. We try to avoid places where we know these types of women congregate, but when they pop up, and @Wade W. Wilson notices he tries to move us in a different direction or pauses our walk to give that woman time to disappear. Sometimes he tries to look the other way, but I notice him trying hard to 'not look' and sometimes wonder if he is doing that for me or for himself. He tells me that it is for me, so I don't assume he is looking or trying to look.

    I can only speak from what I've watched him do, what he tells me, but you can always message him on here, his PA Discord [click here] or PA Facebook group [click here], and he can give you his perspective.

    At the moment, when I get triggered there is no helping me, I need time to process and calm down. Also, debating whether or not he looked at someone if I believe that he did, invalidating my trigger/feeling will only enrage me further... so in my case I need time and then we can talk about the situation later the night or the next day when the trigger has de-escalated.

    I hope that helps, but as I mentioned he could probably guide you better.
     
  18. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1039: 01/20/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was very relaxing. We watched 90 Day Fiance, our guilty pleasure, and some of these people, omg... anyway.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "Breaking Through, To A Brand New You", in this episode, Freddy Fri has a fantastic message for us on breaking through to a brand new you. Remember, everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of the excuses you give yourself for why you haven't already accomplished them.

    This morning, we finished listening to "Therapist EXPLAINS Why Relationships Fail & How To IMPROVE THEM TODAY" an interview with Lori Gottlieb, on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes. Lori Gottlieb is an American writer and psychotherapist, who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic and the author of ‘Maybe You Should Talk To Someone’. During this part, we heard them discuss how do we build better relationships with ourselves, how to better construct and approach your true reality, why you should look yourself in the mirror for 60 seconds every day, and much more. Both Wade and I really enjoyed this interview, so far every interview with Lori, we've loved it. Worth a listen for sure.

    Once we got back, I instantly began watching the inauguration of [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG] President Joseph Biden!! [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG] and my heart is happy and feeling a sense of peace, Wade gets it and feels the same way.

    Now, I will go and keep watching them beautiful, historic moments of history.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers today.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Before You Breakdown


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  19. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1040: 01/21/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Exercise.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, he gave me the trifecta and it was lovely. The whole time and after we watched the celebration of America and it was really such a moment for us, so beautiful and touching. Then he left for work and I went to bed... just didn't sleep all night, but... what else is new.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "3 Suggestions For How To Not Take Things Personally", in this episode, we hear 3 great suggestions for how to not take things personally. Remember, you may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

    This morning, I got out of bed and worked out, my few moments of solitude before the mayhem of morning began. I found a bit of peace there, although it was exhausting. Then, Wade informed me that he was too tired to drive to the mall to walk some more and it was freezing to walk outside here. He dropped off the girls at school and I joined a virtual honor roll award ceremony for our eldest. I was not really in the mood for it, as earlier in the morning I received an e-mail that she is falling behind in Science and getting distracted in class, but I did my part anyway.

    I still plan on making it to 10k steps, suffering through workout after workout till I get there, I have a feeling I am going to burn myself out, sooner rather than later, but now that I gave myself a number, if I don't reach it daily, I will feel like a failure, I know myself.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: Did not react to our eldest about her teacher's e-mail, when I really wanted to.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    How to Stop Taking Things So Personally


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.
  20. Jagliana

    Jagliana Fapstronaut

    DAY 1041: 01/22/2021

    DAILY OBJECTIVES MET:
    • My husband has been honest with me.
    • Daily talk with my husband.
    • Worked on Self-Care as defined here.
    • Currently Reading: Various
    • Current Daily Podcast: "7 Good Minutes"
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Dailies | Self-Care Completed:
    Self-care is not an indulgence. Self-care is a discipline.
    Morning routine / Verbalized my feelings
    Journal / Daily talk with hubby / Regulated my sleep.

    Tony Robbins List of Basic Human Needs | Text explanation here / Sound.
    1. Certainty 2. Uncertainty/Variety 3. Significance 4. Connection/Love 5. Growth and 6. Contribution.

    What is "TRIFECTA"?
    Back, Hand & Foot Massage.


    3 Things I am Grateful for Today:
    1) Self-care.
    2) Healing.
    3) Morning Walk.

    ---------------------------------------------------

    Last night, Wade was tired, to be honest, I was super tired as well. We watched some of the funny late-night show clips while he gave me a hand and foot rub. Not only were we physically tired, after dealing with our eldest HS and schooling issues, but our minds were also overwhelmed.

    Today on the 7 Good Minutes podcast I listened to "3 Simple Ideas On How To Properly Set Priorities In Life", in this episode, we get 3 simple ideas on how to properly set priorities in life. Remember, nobody is ever really too busy, more often than not it's just a matter of priorities.

    This morning, during our walk, we began listening to "Psychotherapist on How to Avoid Pitfalls that End Relationships" an interview with Esther Perel, on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu. Esther Perel is a world-renowned Psychotherapist, New York Times Bestselling Author, and host of the emotionally raw and tell-all podcasts ’How’s Work?’ and ‘Where Should We Begin?’. So far we've heard them discuss the things that kill relationships, the step-by-step process of how complacency creeps in, why so many people in a relationship fail to see their mistakes, the many dynamics of how couples blame each other, the power of your words, and how you frame your problems, how culture comes into play with relationships, how we can value things differently, the importance of the meaning behind what you say, why so many business relationships fail and how you can begin to see other’s perspectives.

    Now, I have the day to myself, I am going to do one more video in order to get to my 10,000 steps. Then give myself a break and watch some Bridgerton on Netflix lol. I guess I will find some time to be productive too haha.

    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
    For any PA's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things recovery... my husband @Wade W. Wilson, who has been in real recovery for over two years now, has created a dedicated Facebook group [click here] and Discord channel for PA's, all are welcome to join and he is looking forward to getting to know and helping each of you. You can join the channel by clicking this link: https://discord.gg/gXPuU9q
    _______________
    For SO's interested in having someone to talk to, check-in with, and a safe place to talk about all things healing and betrayal trauma... here is my Discord channel: https://discord.gg/XwhaBTg [this channel is for SO's ONLY, anyone there for malicious reasons will be removed].
    _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    What I liked about myself, today:
    (I am trying to find one positive thing to "like" about myself and make a mental note of it, every day. No matter how small or insignificant)
    :emoji_two_hearts: No triggers on the trail.:emoji_ok_hand:

    #Video
    Prioritize Like a Genius


    ---------------------------------------------------
    [​IMG]
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Recovery Setback Dates | Inconsistencies or Lies
    5/25/18 | 6/08/18 | 8/18/18 | 9/19/18 | 1/09/19
    1/19/19 | 1/21/19 | 1/24/19 | 1/27/19 | 2/08/19
    4/27/19 | 6/13/19 | 7/06/19 | 8/05/19 | 2/08/20

    ---------------------------------------------------
     
    Wade W. Wilson likes this.

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