My Life need definitely Change! I dont have my Life Situation under control anymore...

Hey,
Iam a 20 years old student who lives in Germany. I only signed up a few minutes ago, because i dont fapped for a week and relapsed half an Hour ago. i want to share my experience with you and i would be very happy if you could support me in that way, by telling me your Nofap Story and its first time problems, which maybe are comparable to mine.

A few Weeks ago i get to know that i need Change in my Life. Most of my life time i was overly depressive and overly passive and when i should tell you in a short sentence it would be like "i dont get my shit together". Nothing makes me happy. Its not because i have no friends or iam ugly or stuff like that. You wont believe, but most girls finds me very attractive and sometimes random girls speak to me, which is not often. The problem was,that i feel like that i dont have my Life under control, also dont have my emotional problems under control. When i go out with friends i very often feel like "i only play the happy guy who has no problems".... ok enough to my bad story lets get to the point, why all of us are here. To the nofap Story! As i said before a hour ago i dont fapped for one week. You wont believe me, when i tell you the differences that happened. First time i felt like human being, i could feel my Emotions again. On the Street i could smile to random people and they smiled back. I felt confident. My studying (Management) was very well. i had a loot more Energy and i was happy, because of the simple point that i was the owner of my Life. I was the Guy, who could change his Life and this Freedom was good for my Personality. But then the relapse part started : This day i thougt of the best Porn videos, which were "my favourite". This attack could be defensed by me. But then i read here a Story about a Guy who says that the effects of Nofap where only Hallucinations, because the believed in it. Then my Brain and my "Loser me" takes this information and telled me " your nofap dont matter its all in your head,its simply a hallucination. Go and i watch your favourite Porn videos". Then i did it and relapsed. You dont believe me, when i tell you how much i hate myself at this point.

First i want to Thank all of you Guys, i respekt you so much for your Works to change yourselfs. It would very helpful in my Situation to hear from you, how dont listen to such losers who says nofap is bad only because they dont get it. How does change it your lifes? Thanks to your Answers...