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Asking for some dating advice.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by NgocHuy, Dec 30, 2020.

  1. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone!
    First of all, I appreciate you for spending your time on this topic. I might sound a bit stupid, but I really need some of your advice right now for this girl I have just met.

    The thing is that we have been talking and hanging out together for a week, and I knew her from my friends. She seems like a nice girl (I don't know if she is literally nice or polite) and I also got to talk with her because she was looking for an English teacher (well, we are actually from Vietnam haha). However, I am sort of busy right now to have classes with her so that we have decided just to spent a few times practicing English when we met.

    To be honest, I firstly thought that I would only want to be teaching her English because I wanted to earn more money and I still want to do it. But after a few meetings with her, I guess I've had feelings for her, even though I've always told myself not to because we have just met. So, when I found out that I fell for her, I stepped back and thought to myself whether I literally like her or I just like her because she looks cute. I have been in several relationships that didn't end well and I got myself lessons so I don't want to replay the same mistakes.

    After a few conversations, I figured it out that she was a emotionally vulnerable girl and I am not like that and I guessed we were just not really compatible. So I decided to step back just to be friend with her first because I thought it would too fast if I fell in love with some I have just met.

    Therefore, I really need to hear more of your advice because I am kind of stuck right now. I just want to know if I should keep doing this or stop.

    Thank you for your time reading this incoherent thread because English is not my first language and I am trying to improve my writing skills. So if you want to fix my grammar, I will happily learn from you guys!
     
  2. PanteriMauzer

    PanteriMauzer Fapstronaut

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    Your english is better than mine
     
  3. omegasigma

    omegasigma Fapstronaut

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    Giving dating advice in a post would be way too long and complex , but i can point you towards a great youtube source for dating advice and all of his material is free , which is rare these days more dating coaches just wanna sell you thier bs course .
    His name is coach corey wayne , out of all dating caoches he teaches you to be a man and being authentic , he is a very genuine guy and he explains everything and why and how it works , give it a try you wont regret it .
     
    NgocHuy likes this.
  4. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    I'm one of Corey followers. Changed the way I see woman and interact with them. He provides really high value content.

    You don't have feelings for her, you are just really attrated to her looks. As man we are visual creatures and react like that to a pritty girl without knowing her.

    You like her looks, maybe she is funny but you don't know her at all. I takes years to really know a person.

    Always trust your instincts. If you think you are not compatible then you are probably not. Maybe you can have fun with her casually but you already know she is not girlfriend material.

    It doesn't work this way. If you are interested in her just ask her out, putting yourself in frienzone is the worst you can do. She is going to think you don't like her or you don't have the balls to ask her out.

    At the moment you are just her english teacher. You need to decide what you want with her and be congrouent with that decition.
    If you choose you want to date her, then ask her out. If she say yes, great. If she say no tell her that you are not going to teach english to her anymore and only contact you if she wants to date you.
    If you choose to be just his teacher... then only be his teacher.
    If you thing that interacting with her is going to be difficult because you like her but you don't want nothing with her just tell her that and stop talking to her.
     
    Bethelightinmyheart and NgocHuy like this.
  5. Nº 9

    Nº 9 Fapstronaut

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    Did you just reject this girl because she is "emotionally vulnerable" ?!?!

    What a cold cold heart you have, man. WTF
     
  6. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I am trying to be more fluent haha.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH and PanteriMauzer like this.
  7. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man, I will look it up!
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  8. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your advice, I appreciate this. And yeah, you got your points here, but I have already asked her out for a few times and we had some great times together.

    I was just thinking if this is going to quickly or not, and I feel like I've tried a lot to get more things to talk with her, but she didn't seem to talk much back so I just start to have some negative thoughts which I am trying to observe and find out how to deal with them.

    I am like in the middle of just being her English teacher or being in the relationship with her.
     
  9. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    No man, I don't mean like that. You know I don't reject people who are emotionally vulnerable.

    I just said that I am not a person with that personality.

    And I didn't say that I would reject her, because if I didn't like it, I would never talk to her first and try to break the ice or asker for her facebook.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  10. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    Be more specific. Are you dating or just haging out as friends? did you kiss her? are you having friends or you just go out, talk for a couple hour and call it a nigth?

    A man is about his goals, purpuse in life. Woman are about relationship, you are thinking way to much about relationship. Relationship is woman department, as a man just go out and have fun with woman in dates (kiss her and have sex with them). Over time the woman will develope feelings for you and will bring up been in a relationship or been exclusive. That's when you need to think about if you want to be in a relationship with her or not, not before.

    That's not a good sign. When a woman is interested in you makes the effort to talk to you, make the effort to like you, makes the effort to be fun for you, makes the effort to keep the conversation going, she makes it really easy for you to seduce her.
    If you are the one making the effort and not her, she is probably not interested romantically in you. She is only interested in learning english.

    As a man you need to be the driver of your life. Make your decitions and live with the consecuencies. Decide what you want with this woman and see if she wants the same from you. If not walk away from her.
     
    NgocHuy likes this.
  11. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    We have only hungout and talked, that was it. She has also flirted with me and I did the same back, but I thought it was just for fun. But I guess I won’t be teaching her English and just be friends instead.

    Thanks for the advice man. I guess I am just not really good at this relationship so I am just gonna keep learning and improving myself.

    Btw I have got to 35 days on nofap haha.
     
  12. You are obviously crushing on her. I would say that you should make a move on her. Start by asking her some questions to get to know her better. Touch her upper arm or shoulder and see how she reacts. One thing you should never do is confess you feelings too early. You dont even know the girl. Give it time and make sure you get to know her. Try some flirting. You will know soon if there is chemistry or not.
     
    NgocHuy likes this.
  13. hulkfresh23

    hulkfresh23 Fapstronaut

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    Bro firstly you English is fine, better than mine
    if your problem is that she is more emotional than you, it doesn't matter all the woman in this world are emotional... sort of more than the men.
    i am in your shoes, and if i am you and i really like the girl i would attack, saying something like a hey do you want to hangout with me this evening? o something like after this lesson i will have an hour free we could go out for a walk... do you know? stuff like that.

    but if you are not so stoked about her and is just for type another name in you girl-list maybe it good to keep her as a pupil, nobody knows maybe she has a lot of friends and you have a wide catalog of girl... but you always should behave as a gentleman.

    man sorry for my english as well it's not my main language.

    all the best for you my dear friend
     
    NgocHuy likes this.
  14. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your kind advice my friend. Your English is good and I found it was easy to understand things you said.

    Me and the girl have been talking and hanging out for a few times, but yesterday was the first time we hungout just the two of us. And I had a chance to listen to her stories and problems, she seems to go through several relationships which were more than me.

    I don’t know how to tell this, but after the date, I felt a bit empty and sad at the same time that I didn’t know why.
    But anyway thanks for your advice my friend!
     
  15. NgocHuy

    NgocHuy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks my friend for your advice, yesterday we hungout to eat and drink some coffee, it went pretty good and we had some good conversations which her mostly telling about her stories and I was only sitting there to listen.

    I even did touch her face because we were talking about some related topics and she let me do it.

    I right now didn’t want to confess my feelings to her because it would be to early to do this, so I am just gonna keep the relationship like this to see where it goes.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  16. Bethelightinmyheart

    Bethelightinmyheart Fapstronaut

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    Yes, he is also a MAN, and in every right to put boundaries for what works for him and not.

    so tired of these fucking Simps all over the place, just shut it.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  17. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    I went on two dates recently with two different women.

    One on Tuesday, the other yesterday.

    Went okay, but yesterday’s date wasn’t the same as me in terms of viewpoints. I think I’ll try and make something happen with the other one though. See what happens.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  18. Sounds like you did everything right. Keep a light and flirty tone with her. Girls dont like when you give it all away. Give her the opportunity to guess a little. With that said, flirt. Action speaks louder than words. Show her rather than tell her that you like her.
     
  19. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    When you have real women to work with you literally do not think about porn at all. I mean AT ALL. It’s so amazing.
     
  20. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

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    who pissed on your soup man?
    As for OP you are unsure what to do? considere this quote from a successful warlord : “Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige’s wall there was this one: ‘‘Matters of great concern should be treated lightly.” Master lttei commented, “Matters of small concern should be treated seriously.””
    Which is the right answer? who can say.
     

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