Saving Ourselves For marriage

Exactly my friend. Recently I have started to realise that platforms such as Instagram are just as worse, if not even worse, than porn itself. Not necessarily through sexual material (Although insta is heavily promoting soft-core porn), but more through the dopamine rush people get when interacting. Us as humans naturally get this dopamine from things that we enjoy doing. Whether that'd be sex, gym, gaming, socialising etc. This is our natural reward system. Similar to those examples, instagram is also becoming a source for people to experience that reward system that they are craving. That reward system from browsing instagram is linked to peoples need to feel validated. Idk about u but one of the reasons why i view porn is to feel appreciated. It is to give me hope that maybe just maybe i may be catching to the eye of someone out there. And this is the same aspect with instagram. When you see these young females posting hundreds of photos onto their account, it is their desperation call for attention and approval. When they don't receive the amount of likes they were hoping for, they usually end up deleting their post. Why? Because they feel as if that photo does not exhibit their true value. The worst thing is that they are not even showing off their true selves. Most of the time they're pictures are edited, tainted, and captured on a 'perfect' angle to make them look good. Why don't these people upload a selfie as soon as they wake up in the morning. Because it is a side they don't want people to see, otherwise it would tarnish their reputation.

Exact same thing with porn. Many people don't know what goes on behind the scenes of porn sets. They don't realise the abuse female porn actresses get on the set. People think that the male porn actresses are 'genetically blessed', when really their genitals are purposely edited to seem 'large'. I've read articles online from ex-actresses that say that a man's penis is technically smaller than they seem on set, but lighting, camera angles, and even certain drugs give the illusion that they are large. It is all done with the intention of misleading the viewer. The way it is performed on set is no where near the true representation of sex between 2 lovers.

 

WOW and here i thought i was the only person facing this. Being 21 years old, on the road to 22, i think i speak clearly when i say i am the only individual i know that is still a virgin. Everyone i know has lost their virginities a long time ago. And the very few people that are still virgins are all getting engaged/married.
I always get the question, 'how is my dating life?'. People are shocked when i tell them that the term 'virgin' is an understatement. I am upfront with them when i say that i never kissed a woman, been hugged by a girl, been on a date with one etc. Hell i can't even recall the last time i had a 1-1 serious conversation with a woman. I always get the blatant reply that i haven't been living my youth. Automatically i am viewed as a 'good guy'. The same type of person that is technically cool with everyone, but no one takes seriously. At times its pretty sad reflecting on this, but i'm learning not to let people's perceptions get to me. All the more reasons why i am doing Nofap

 

I have the same mentality tbh. Always self-conscious about how i look. Like many people I too am self-conscious about my body. I have this perception that i am not lean enough, even though i am not overweight. Likewise at times i feel like i am not 'big' enough in terms of raw muscle despite having been going to the gym for some time now. These illusions of mine have been influenced by social media and their promotion of the 'ideal' body which 90-95% of people don't have.

I also am very conscious about other parts of my body. For example, despite being 21 years old, i am fairly hairy. I have developed body hair all over my physique; arms, upper arms, legs, thighs, chest, stomach, back etc. Personally i am fine with all that but lately i am starting to feel low about it. These last few decades, there has been a significant decline in women's preference for body hair. More and more ladies are preferring men to be completely hairless. There have been times where i've been ridiculed in public, by both my friends and strangers because of it. I've literally received comments that i should shave my entire body, otherwise no woman will find me attractive. You can imagine how that feels.
The point I am trying to make is that social media has caused us all to not be 'impressed' with our own-selves. Its causing us to bend to the wishes of society.

I can't speak for most guys here, but i will give u my 2 cents. You mentioned that you and your friends are self-conscious about their bodies when comparing to others. Me personally, i think most body types of females look great. In my view, a woman does not need to have a small waist, large breasts/glutes, built legs etc to look pretty, provided that they take care of their health and are not excessively over-weight. A female that is fairly light weighted and skinny can look just as attractive, if not more, than someone that is given the term 'Thick' by society. Of course this term has been influenced by porn in some ways if u ask me. I personally think the pressure to have perfect bodies is more on men than it is on women

 

your thread made me want to find a virgin girl ^^ no better way to say this, but most girls out there got 10 different meats in their holes. it`s disgusting

 

i liked the idea, I had the same thought as well , i'm currently unemployed(working on a project) , unmarried and don't have much friends, The only hope I'm clinging on is Nofap , And 1 of the main reasons I started nofap , Is to be fit for marriage, i'm currently 31 years old and planning to get marrid on 35 when I'm all set.

 

I'm a virgin guy that wants to maintain my virginity till I get married and prepare myself for my future relationship. While I don't yet use porn I do admit to being a masturbator ,which is something that I wish to change. I have admitted that I do have a problem with masturbation in my life so I was glad to find this site which actually supports something I was searching for for some time. I took the leap and joined up here to hopefully find the help I need to prepare myself for my future life and shared life with someone special. I do not want to bring my masturbation into a future relationship and am hopeful that my future mate will be thankful for my early attempts to solve this habit. I am thankful for the people helping others here reach their goals and if I can help or be an encouragement to ny of you, let me know.
Virginpaul

 

i admire everyone on this journey, i give gods up most blessings on your path

 

Thank you for the response, encouragement and support. It seems that I don't get any from my guy friends around me and quite the opposite. I don't even know what to say half the time if they talk about their own lives, I don't want to play along like I'm sexually active too but I've been rejected before because of my virginity which seems like no guy is supposed to be one , you know? This is the first place that values what I'm trying to do and I really don't want this to get worse where I end up interested in porn which preys on women. I really want to stay clear of that!.

 

You are a Proverbs Woman and i respect you for it , it really means a lot to hear that I can believe that someone special is waiting for me. I know someone will there for you and that nothing will keep yo from your goal. Thanks again for the kind words, it means alot.

 

Look, better get that Johnson wet before, who knows how many guys that slut has been with before.

 

Not everyone is a slut. And not everyone is a playboy... brother. And one does not need to be one.

 

I really appreciate your views and decision Rosamund. You should definitely stick by them and don't worry you're not alone. We are of the same thinking. I personally want to save myself for marriage too and even though I have never touched a girl in a sexual way in my life, I have sadly been exposed and addicted to PMO. With the help of this website, I have made a lot of progress on that addiction. P is now out of question for me and I dont't even have strong urges now and will hopefully fully recover soon if I carry on. But I am unable to stop MO. My day counter is so low because of that, not because of P. So I am happy about the fact that I have made progress with regards to P at least because that is a way bigger crime than MO and is also like having sex with a partner since you're seeing other girls naked. I am also a Muslim like you so for me this is also about my beliefs and I feel guilty after MO too. I am hoping that MO doesn't become as strong an addiction as I once had with P. So I need to stop right at this moment. I am hoping that if I can go these next two weeks without Mo then I will have control. Good luck to you and I both.

 

Also I have a GF but it is a long distance relationship and we only talk through texting. You would be able to understand why that is since I am from a muslim community. I have recently started to sort of talk in a sexual way with her and I don't like that. I want to keep our relationship platonic and pure until we get married. Sexting with her also needs to MO in the end. For the next few weeks we will not be able to text for some reasons, so it should be much easier to resist , but I also want to be talking to her in a pure way when she comes back. She herself always talks in a pure way and never sexual but it's always from my side. So hoping to get control of myself and be worthy of such a pure girl as her.