1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

How'd you stop this shit

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Upwards2020, Jan 13, 2021.

  1. Upwards2020

    Upwards2020 Fapstronaut

    322
    358
    63
    Pretty much pmo every day
    Even escalated to some shit.
    Still have my natural tastes but I want to go back to "vanilla" and stop needing to pmo every god damn day

    The other shit I have watched isn't my natural taste and seems to be about shock than
    something I'm romantically and sexually attracted to . Which is just bizzare

    Also can't finish takes way too long . Can get full hard on but porn is more like a tease "now" . So like my brain knows to hold on . So either force finish even though hard the whole time or escalate.

    Pixels......
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2021
  2. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

    576
    938
    93
    It sounds corny, but literally one hour/day at a time.

    First, cut yourself off. Delete apps, accounts, install filters, etc.

    Second, be aware and present when you feel urges. Write them down. Find patterns.

    Third, find help

    Fourth, look inside at yourself as to why you can't stop yourself, why it's compulsive, etc.

    Fifth, repeat as needed, one day at a time
     
  3.  
    FX-05 likes this.
  4. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

    375
    240
    63
    hey man i was like you, pmo every day for 1-3 hours, just start a new project that will occupy you for a week or so an then tell yourself that you are too far in to back down now and go with the flow.
     
  5. Uncle_Iroh

    Uncle_Iroh Fapstronaut

    244
    326
    63
    Just calm down, there's no way you're going to overcome it getting angry and sad about it, for they will only lead you back to what you do not want. So just calm down for a moment and give yourself time to just think rationally, I know it's hard, it's horrible when all you want is to get away from it, but here's the killer, you are never going to be away from this! This is your life now, you have an addiction and forever you will have this addiction, but how you manage it now and in the future comes to depend on whether you can live alongside it as a master of yourself, or whether you will keep slipping away into it.

    You are powerless!
    So first of all you are absolutely powerless to this, some people as rare as they are get through with pure will power, but most need to be able to gain that will power over time. At the beginning you need to understand how powerless you are, you've got to think about your whole way of living and all the times you slip back to porn and find ways to stop you even getting there. What are your triggers? What are the emotions you feel before using? What are you doing when you slip back to porn? These are important things when it comes to understanding how you can avoid the situations that lead to using porn. So on to the next point...

    NO HALF MEASURES!
    You are not going to beat this by only dipping your toe in and thinking it will work. I know you probably feel you're doing everything you can to stop this mentally, and you probably are, but you're powerless so you have no control over yourself, no matter how many times you try you will just go back to it. So you need to do everything in your power to stop any way of acting out, which leads to the start of these measures...

    Get rid of your smartphone (If you haven't already)
    So this always seems hard, it always feels like you really do need your smartphone, and I get why. They are amazing pieces of technology, they give us the internet in our hands, all the info we need, great ways to get in touch with friends and people we may never have spoken to. Here's the crux, they are not good for porn addicts! We can go from being relatively relaxed, to having a thought of past porn watched or a sexual thought in general, to watching whatever type of porn we could ever want to watch in 30 seconds. It makes it too easy for us, so you HAVE to get rid! NO ifs or buts, just do it and you'll thank me later.

    No internet when alone or without permission
    If you have a pc or laptop in your room, move it out of there and put it in a more public place in your house, like where your parents, partner or friends you live with will naturally be, for example, living rooms or dining rooms. If you live alone do the same thing, move it near a window that people from outside can see you clearly to have that extra deterant. If you do live alone I do understand it's probably going to be hard, but unplug your internet and only use it at certain points during the day. I can't really speak for living alone, I'm with my parents and my partner so it's alot easier for me in this way. If you can't do some of these things then get a blocker or an accountability software on your computer, this way you can block everything you know that is harmful to your addiction, social media, youtube, porn tube sites and anything else. If you have an accountability software you will need someone to monitor it and call you out, someone who will see everything you do on the internet, therefore acting as a deterant. This leads into my next point...

    Find a community, tell people or someone! (If you haven't already)
    Addiction is extremely hard to overcome alone, it's power is in it's secrecy, so go out there and find a group. I am part of Sex Addicts Anonymous and I couldn't be happier for it. You will find a group of likeminded people going through the same and similar things to yourself, people who will know how it feels when you slip up or go right back into the darkest parts of your addiction, and this is an amazing feeling. You're not alone in this, as as much as I like NoFap, there are obviously miles and miles and a computer screen between you and me or others. When you actually physically see people, you realise how it can affect anyone, people from all walks of life, and most importantly you see how it can be overcome. Hearing stories similar to your own come from someone elses mouth and how they have overcome it really gives you the hope you need. If there aren't any SAA groups locally or nearby then I would recommend their telemeetings and Zoom meetings, it's not quite face to face (and with COVID 19 there aren't many face to face meetings happening, but most are doing zoom meetings to substitute) you still hear voices, see people and find people to relate to. If these aren't an interest to you, then tell a friend, tell your family or your partner, just get it out there to someone if you haven't already, it's not good to dwell on this alone, you will eat yourself up and start to hate yourself for the pain you are putting yourself through, allow others in to help you!

    Excercise (again, if you haven't already started)
    Nothing better for the mind and body than excercise in my opinion, do anything, yoga, running, swimming (be awar of half naked bodies obviously), excercise routines and any sports or martial arts. Just get out there and do it, don't worry what others may think seeing you run, or how your body may look in the pool, or how there are stacked dudes all round you at gym, or even that your not the best tennis or football player. It's all about just doing something for yourself and bringing some healthy hobbies to your life. Try them all, see what you enjoy, but make sure you are doing those that you may not like too as there's no better feeling than not wanting to run but finishing that run, it's a great natural high!

    NO HALF MEASURES!
    There's no better way to put this accross, if you become complacent you will slip back, you have to be in this for life, that is the only way you are going to do this. Take it one day at a time, one hour and minute at a time, you don't need to be one week, one month, one year or twenty years sober today, you just need to get through this day and move onto the next, stop thinking about what the past has been and how the future will be, just be here now! No half measures, just do these things, and other things you feel are good for you, and do not stop doing them as they are your life line. In time you will be able to allow certain aspects back into your life, but only once you have truly gained power over self, and that is not going to be anytime soon, if you think you are, question it and really think before you do.

    I wish you luck friend, there are probably many ways other than these to help also, but you need to be commited to fighting this and not resenting the fact that you have to, for it's just what it is and without 110% commitment, you will not do this.
     
  6. Uncle_Iroh

    Uncle_Iroh Fapstronaut

    244
    326
    63
    Oh one more things, you can never go back to porn or sexual imagery, it will ever get to a point were you can go back to "vanilla", that's done for you now, it's all about staying away!
     
    Timecop likes this.

Share This Page