The Lord of the Rings Challenge

I AM JOINING THE LORD OF THE RINGS CHALLENGE ON THIS DAY THE 13TH OF JANUARY THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2021.


I'm an orc now :/

 

Day 13

Really struggled mid-afternoon, probably the closest I’ve come to giving up and relapsing. Spent about an hour trying to distract myself with random tasks (tidying, small admin jobs, making coffee) and eventually the urge subsided - I’m just too excited to reach the two-week milestone!

 

Day 3 Hard Mode

I have had some urges these last couple days, but I managed to manage them and move on. I have no touched myself, and I have not peeked at all though I have stumbled on some pornographic material as I was trying to get my computer blockers working. I did not spend time looking. In fact, I just exited out immediately, and though that happened, I was able to get my blocker working fully. The company that made the blocker has their website in need of reregistering, so I could not contact them about making an edit to the blocker, so I am dealing with what I have (the blocker works, however, I want to change the password to the blocker so that I do not have control and cannot willingly turn it off). I found a group for porn-addicted Christian men that has a really good track record, and though it is $97 a month, I am going to sign up and hope that the intensive online treatment will help me finally break the cycle. Many who graduate the program no longer use blockers and accountability apps, and they are keeping clean as they have a new perspective in life. That gives me hope.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 6
Uruk-Hai!

 

Another day check in.

Thanks a lot! Today I was free from that urges and I could go to confession.

Stay strong, fellow! We are with you.

St. Thomas Aquinas, pray for us!

 

Day 3

- Walked
- Meditated, 3 min.
- Prayed
- Worked on my writing
- cold shower
- ate healthy lunch, going to try to fast until lunch tomorrow

Still need to spend some time researching PMO addiction and recovering. Need to get back to reading SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION.

Things are still tough but I am feeling more energetic and hopeful today than I have in a while. Getting back into good habits after the holiday indulgence has helped a lot.

 

And someday I'll finally give up "smoking."

 

Day 10,

Back in the double digits and getting hit with a few urges. Been very active and keeping with the running. Registration for school has been experiencing some hiccups so I have been practicing being aware of stress and navigating my habit paths. Intending to take a holistic path on addressing my recent blood work in order to see if there is something else that the VA is not testing for which could be interfering with my White Blood counts.

Thanks for the support and helping me get back on the wagon!

 

Day 178

 

Day 2!

 

Sorry was a bit caught up in the last few days. Still going strong. Sure, there are moments of temptations and urges. From strength to strength

 

I haven't looked at porn in quite some time, but kicking MO is proving to be a much greater challenge. Back again to Day 0 and filthy orcdom.

I'm pretty mad at myself for not doing more to fight the urge, but it came on so suddenly after dinner. I recognize the circumstances because they're exactly the same as when I fell two weeks ago. Both days I went for a longer-than-average run, about one and a half hours. I'm just not sure what to do. Something about it makes urges show up out of nowhere.

 

day 36

 

Day 0 relapse

 

Day 0
One minor mistake cause a relapse. I hate myself!

 

Day 7 for me and that completes my first week! Tough road ahead, boys. No pressure, no diamonds! Carry your cross with you wherever you go. Some people have it more difficult than you and some have it easier. These times have really reminded me that we are born alone, we live alone and we die alone. There is nothing and nobody that can carry your weight for you.

Remember, unlike anatomical maleness, manhood is a prize to be won. You have to earn it by willingly confronting the tragedies and malevolence of life. Stay strong, brothers!

 

Day 93 complete

 

Don't hate yourself. Use your relapse as an opportunity to learn what not to do next time.

 

That is great that you got through! You're showing yourself that you are worth it and that urges will always be temporary.

 

Checking in for day 41!