1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

The 2021 Green Day Challenge [OPEN]

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Deleted Account, Dec 18, 2020.

  1. One week... Haven't been here in a while!!!!
     
  2. Well, it's been a little bit.
    This is a bit of an odd thing to share here but...in the last few days, my physical body nearly died.
    It nearly shut down completely.

    To be honest, there was no fear. My spirit was ready to move on to another plane, and was blessed in understanding of what was to come.
    I share this at the risk of sounding a little eccentric, I know.
    It's okay, take it for what you will.

    Still, It seemed worth sharing for the reason that...well, it might give some strength and resolve to some of you.
    I know some of us are feeling the desire to escape. I've heard that sentiment from a few people.
    Of course, all of us here are trying to escape PMO.

    Just stay strong. Ask for what you need. A great deal of healing may come.
    Peace
     
    dharana and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  3. Awesome progress, man. Keep going
     
  4. What was going on if I may ask?
    For some reason I often feel incredibly horny when I'm I'll, often MO many times a day. I wonder why that is?
     
    dharana likes this.
  5. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

    553
    1,516
    123
    Reset. Haven't been taking it seriously. Haven't been doing the necessary things to keep me clean. Therefore relapse is then only a matter of time.
     
  6. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Hello friends. It was too much for me. A week ago my stress and despair was building and I was seeking emotional escape. I managed to stave off my old coping habit for about a day, thanks to support from my comrades here. But then I peeked at some very mild P. It planted the pernicious seed in my addict brain and it kept gnawing at me. I peeked again, and then the physical stress started building. I spent an entire day with this feeling of extreme discomfort and obsessive thoughts. In prior situations like this I would go outside and exercise, but I was stuck indoors because of work and inclement weather. I made a conscious decision to relieve myself. I thought a lot about the nearly 4 month streak I was about to end, and how I would be disappointing my community here. But in the end, I just had to get it over with and move on. It was the shortest of PMO excursions. Perfunctory in nature, entirely devoid of pleasure. I really don't feel bad about doing it. In the big picture, if I go four months at a time, that's 3 times per year of bad behavior. I'm ok with that, I think. There is big part of me that wants to be completely PMO-free, and I will maintain that mindset and spiritual direction. My biggest challenge is dealing with the problems in my marriage. I'm pretty sure if my marriage wasn't in shambles, I'd be much stronger in battling this addiction. Stay strong everyone.
     
  7. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Way to go BC. Good to see you back on track!
     
    BrohkenCompass and dharana like this.
  8. Honestly, that is a hard thing to answer. I'd likely sound a bit off to some if I tried. So be it.

    I won't claim to know for certain all the causes.
    But essentially I had an ongoing religious/spiritual experience for a week, in varying intensity.
    I was not sure I wasn't descending into madness for some of it. I was very aware that would be the typical response to such an experience in our society. Understandably so.
    There is a very fine line between mystical experience and madness.

    Fortunately, understanding people came to my aid and experienced some of what was happening with me.
    And fortunately, I've had other similar experiences before, though nowhere near the extent that occured this time.

    My body got to a place that it couldn't handle the energy that it was experiencing. I couldn't sleep well.
    My organs felt like they were shutting down.

    Again, take it for what you will.
    I'm sharing out of respect and love and comradery, despite it being somewhat uncomfortable for me.
    --
    In terms of urges, I have had none. A lot of family healing has occurred.
     
  9. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 7 - Some thoughts...on one hand, I feel like I've accomplished a lot in recognizing my addiction and gaining a 4-month streak. On the other hand, most recently I reset without much internal strife and not sure I'm ok with that as it seems to indicate a softening of my resolve.

    This morning I heard someone say "I'm better than I was, but not as good as I want to be". It made me think about staying totally clean and how that should be my forever and ongoing goal.

    My marital issues, like many of us here, are challenging and present. That is no excuse for not pursuing the goal of a totally PMO-free life. I will meditate on the belief that staying clean will actually promote improvement in my marriage.

    And, while I have learned to manage my addiction over the last 8 months to a point where it is no longer occupying hours per day every day, I must now fully devote myself to complete abstinence from PMO. My intent is for that to be a cornerstone of my life and how I wish to grow as a human being for this next stage of my life.
     
  10. Back to 4 days clean but really feeling a change within may own mindset about a lot of things right now. All very positive. Better days are to come!
     
  11. Didn't mean to leave you hanging. You really opened up quite a bit and while I don't think I've experienced your exact Physical situation I can say that I have been in such a bad response to some fears, panic, sorrow, and worry associated with some things I've experienced, that it's manifestation takes a very heavy toll on my mental and physical wellness. In these times, the powerlessness is overwhelming. Uncertainty never feels good. We handle it in a healthy way, or we revert to our ill-advised coping skills like porn, drugs, alcohol, gambling - whatever our thing is. For me it's the Masturbation and porn.

    I've been very overwhelmed with worry and stress this past 2 weeks. So much, that ice spiraled out of control. PMO 3 days this week and two when the majority of my stresses began.

    @tonyk1982 I know you've been going through a fair amount of relationship stress too and it finally became more than you could handle with your current level of skill and resilience. It's ok. We get stronger daily.

    @Ian Of Freelandia my wife and a couple of her friends are pretty well versed in the ideas of energy work, and ascension (to one's higher self) I'm probably in a bit of a transfer if energy myself, but one thing is certain, for me, meditation helps. I held off a ton of days but when I stopped regularly taking a meditative break daily, that is when my addict grew inside and forced his will upon my struggling self.

    I've stayed clean today - so far. I am hoping to separate myself from this binge that I am in.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2021
    Chakra_Serpent likes this.
  12. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    1,185
    1,609
    143
    Just want to reach out to those that are struggling. I am struggling too.
     
  13. I'm here right now, on the forum trying hard to not give porn brain any power. 3 days Inna row I went there. Looking at some situations that mostly remind me of my wife and I. I need to be centered on the now and the future, NOT the past.

    I hope that whatever had you wound up and feeling low, helpless, worried, or hurting...I hope you can find just enough perspective to remind yourself that there's no real way that porn and PMO help us. It simply distracts us just enough temporarily, only to leave us further in despair than before we acted out. Stay strong brother....I'm talking to myself too.
     
    fredisthebes and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  14. HeadlessKnight

    HeadlessKnight Fapstronaut

    49
    143
    33
    Well this anxiety and thoughts were consuming my last days and wasting a lot of time. But conflicts, anger and hate in my case make me more motivated, there are people doing bad things to me lately, and for any goal that i'm involved it makes me really want to accomplish it, so i'm going fine with the streak, without many urges and searching slips. This week I also came back to an physical exercise routine, feeling more tired but in the end it really helps the body and brain, everybody should do and keep it.
     
    BrohkenCompass likes this.
  15. Great job piecing together a plan and getting your focus back bro.!
     
    HeadlessKnight likes this.
  16. Not super significant, but add one more green day for me. I made it through yesterday, and I ended a 3 day binge. I went to the gym Mon & Tues. I skipped We'd. I was going to yesterday and just didn't make it. We'll see about tonight, boys have basketball so it would be before or after.

    Today my goal is simply to not relapse today. To begin to unwind the damage of this week's Porn use. To ease back into a comfortable relationship between mind and body, and to suppress"porn guy" and tell him he's not needed here.
     
  17. Taking a deep breath. Stayed pretty busy today and got Inna workout too. Almost 2 days green
     
  18. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    1,185
    1,609
    143
    I was thinking about quietly dropping out I was so embarrassed about my lack of commitment to this challenge. But writing it down has helped me keep my failure in perspective. I have twice as many green days as red days. And, while this isn't anywhere near where I want to be, this is an improvement from where I used to be.
    So I am comforted by the fact that I am making progress, even if it's a lot slower than I would like.
     
  19. Glad to see you hanging around. You don't need to check in at any frequency. You don't have to come here to give or seek support.
    Ideally you've got a method of tracking progress, and whenever you decide to pop on here to update your signature.. you do it.

    I guess what I'm saying is, don't quit. We will get there man, even if the days are longer than we expected, and filled with more challenges than we prepared for; we will get there.
     
    fredisthebes and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  20. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Hey man, don't quit. We are here to help you. Focus on your progress and you will gain confidence. Stay strong.
     

Share This Page