How to deal with the Coolidge effect in a porn-free monogamous relationship?

Sexual satiety is about four times higher after sexual intercourse than after masturbation. For men, masturbating four times a day is pretty draining on our energy, and eight times is absolutely insane! If a guy is used to masturbating twice a day, he would likely gravitate toward having sex once every other day. Your pretty average guy used to jerking off once a day would naturally gravitate toward having sex about twice a week.

Here's a journal article on it:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16095799
I also recommend the Reuniting site for further reading on the neurochemical aspects of sex:
https://www.reuniting.info/science

Here's some reading on ejaculatory frequency and sperm count (YBOP is another great site!). Men aren't really designed to ejaculate daily! At least not with the same woman. . .
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-you-exiting-gene-pool-due-to-low-sperm-count-or-ed
"Sperm production estimates vary, but it appears that ejaculation every third day would not overtax sperm supplies (assuming they have normalized after very frequent ejaculation). Ejaculation every third day is more than enough action to keep a mate "topped up" with viable sperm, so evolution is likely to have equipped us accordingly. Incidentally, too many sperm can increase miscarriages because fertilization by more than one sperm renders a zygote inviable. "Eject!""

If you're not happy with the frequency of sex, you might discuss having non-orgasmic sex with him.

 

Also something to think about, which may or may not be true, is that if a woman feels happier and more energetic from a man's semen, that the man feels happier and more energetic when he retains his semen. Partners will need to work out a frequency that works for them both. Not ejaculating often enough may make the woman feel rejected and like the man is withholding from her and she may get resentful, but ejaculating too often may make the man feel the woman is just constantly draining all his energy, and she will feel "needy" to him, and he may get resentful. Take this with a grain of salt, or a whole shaker full.

 

I will add, that with my hubby he was using quite a lot, up to multiple times a day. I had always had a high drive, realistically higher than him naturally. Since he has given up P&M his drive has returned to a normal level for him. Surpassingly to him it’s a lot less than he expected. It’s fine for us even though we never gave up sex as a whole but dialed it back for the reboot and focused more on emotional intimacy rather than sexual (with the big O). We are closer, turned on more. The quality out weighs the quantity. I’m more relaxed and he is in the moment with me rather than in his head with countless other women. It’s more passionate and fulfilling for both of us. We are feeling each other again physically and emotionally.
I’m not worried about the CE at this point but I would be (like before) if he hadn’t made the changes he has. The more emotionally intimate we are the more bonding has returned and realistically stronger than ever for us including physically. Oxytocin is powerful too when utilized!

 

Appreciate every "look" every day.
'oh, the pink shirt looks different than the plaid!'
'ooh my wife wore her hair down today.. Look how it frames her face!'

People don't stop and appreciate what they have, enough I think.

My husband has had a mowhawk for the majority of the time we were together.
When he cut it off,... I admired it (I hated it) but he looked different, and different was good for us, sexually.
Appreciate what you have, go through the cycles.
Pause and reflect each day on the (even little) changes.
People get so caught up in the High Def because they need Big Details in front of them to notice big things, that they are always missing the big (little) things they should be looking at instead.

And this goes both directions.

That's the real novelty.
Stopping and smelling what's already in front of you.
(rose joke)
People just.... Forget how.

 

You are amazing in your analysis and self-reflection. Your husband is one lucky guy. The idea or rather question that came to my mind was: are you always available to him whenever he wants to have sex? Maybe if he needs to use some effort to seduce you with uncertain outcome, that could spice it up a little.

 

Related to being too distant from yourself, what would it look like if you went closer to yourself? What are the feelings there? Potentially there is something you need to uncover that is not actually as much related to your husband or even sex and his porn addiction but rather to your self-worth/self-love. He is only 'a mirror' for you to show you what you cannot see. [let me know if this does not make sense]