M versus PMO

It will be a very big difference, trust me. However, I actually don't know if it's good enough because I have abstained porn now for around 1000 days and it still feel like I could fall back at any moment

This last month has been hard. It feels like I'm getting weaker mentally, not stronger. Let me do an analysis from the beginning: 1000 days ago, I stopped watching porn and I also stopped with M for 120 days. Then I figured that porn is the real evil and M is ok as long as you don't think about porn memories. While this is true, I have since done many challenges that has included no M. Why? Because every time I have allowed M, it has escalated in the same way P usually does, e.g. once a week becomes ones a day and so on. Just to be clear: This is way less harmful than porn, it won't make you binge for hours. In its very own, I would say it's not harmful at all but unfortunately, it has a side effect: It triggers your dopamine system.

As you probably know, the things in porn that gives you the thrill now won't give you the thrill in the future. You will have to search for more and more extreme stuff in order to get the same effect. This is the very thing of dopamine addiction, your brain gets used to the amount of dopamine that gets released in your system and so to get the same effect you need a higher and higher doses of dopamine...

So, back to your question. If you stop watching porn but still allow M, it will make a very big difference in your life for sure. This has led me to improve my sleep, exercise a lot, get stronger bonds with my family and so on. The list of benefits of quitting porn can continue for long. However, the fact that you get rid of your porn addiction while still allowing M will still make you a dopamine addict (assuming you are). Now let's say the M without P stops giving you the thrill you seek, how would you go about to escalate this in order to get that thrill again?

Because of this very fact, I don't feel very strong right now. If feels like I'm not a porn user anymore but I am still a dopamine addict, which makes it very hard for me to abstain porn in the long run. Citing myself above, "I actually don't know if it's good enough", I can now safely say "I know it's not good enough".

Now everyone is different I guess. If you can do M in a sensible way, I don't see a problem with that. However, if you find yourself doing it more and more often, that would be a sign that you're seeking thrills that will sooner or later get too hard for you to get "on your own".

The things I wrote above: I just realised this. I have always thought porn is the real evil and m is okay but unfortunately I have to revise that now.

 

Your reply really warms my heart and I got a rush of happiness flowing through my entire body. I'm very happy that I could help you along the way! Your question helped me too, writing this was the very reason I logged in to NoFap and your question was exactly right. Thank you for posting! God bless you too