100 Cold Approaches

Thanks for your support and interest, guys.

I wish I could update the thread more but I'm not actively approaching girls for the moment. I could visit a city during the day to do some approaches but I don't really like wearing the face mask which is mandatory in most cities of the country I live in (or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse?).

Although I'm only through 1/4th of the challenge, I have definitely learned some interesting things. I'm not going to romanticize this process, but I do share the sentiment when guys say that approaching can lead to learning more about yourself, your relationship with fear, etc.

I hope to keep this thread updated in the future.

Exactly. It is a numbers game and you have to go through a certain learning curve. The first approaches suck and eventually you'll get more comfortable with chatting with girls.

You are always free to embark this challenge or just post some experiences with approaching in the future!

I don't see this as 'my' thread. It's always nice if other like-minded guys embark the journey whilst having an outlet discuss these things.

 

So, after a hiatus of a few weeks after being in my home country, I approached 3 groups of 2 girls yesterday. I have some time left until the next semester starts so I decided to go to a country with chiller COVID rules. Now that I'm in a city, the opportunities to approach manifest themselves more clearly. That being said, I don't want to create the impression that you have to travel to a foreign country in order to approach girls. In my home country I, I live on the country side and I didn't went to a city to do some street game (I only went to a city but for family purposes). Nonetheless, my brain is more receptive for the opportunities, even in a simple situation like being in a grocery store, but I failed to execute!

Concerning the approaches I did: the interactions weren't any special but I do feel that I'm getting more comfortable having conversations with strangers (not only girls, men too). One girl of a group was very open for a chat, asking me questions, even my name at the end of the conversation but I hesitated to ask her number.

The fear definitely doesn't go away...

Total: 29/100

 

Did 3 approaches today.

One was on the bus and was just a simple question which led to an easy-going conversation until she had to debark the bus. Doesn't sound like much but I really had to find my balls in order to open up with her though.

Another one was also a simple question inquiring where I can find something (a sort of monument). She didn't know, we chatted a bit and then I asked her which bus I had to take to go back to the city center. She was open to help and took the bus with me and she eventually was down to grab a bite so we did. Eventually I had to go somewhere but I have her number.

Total: 32/100

 

5 approaches today. Technically I did 6-7ish but I'm not going to give myself the benefit of the doubt (some where so short where the girl barely could speak English, maybe I'm going to raise the threshold for a qualification of a cold approach a little bit).

2 of the approaches entailed an engaging chat where the girl asked me personal questions and it went beyond the scope of the opener. I feel that there is some progress.

Total: 37/100

 

3 approaches today. All 3 were on the bus (not the same bus though).

One interaction was short and not really worth mentioning. The other one entailed a little chat but nothing really special, the girl wasn't that responsive and I was running out of gas of things to say.

The third opening was with a girl I sat next to on the bus. It was more like a little private bus that drives people from one city to the other. I sat on the seat next to her (not immediately next to her but with the pathway of the bus in between) and opened up with her with an innocent question (I think asking her how long the bus ride is). I managed to chat her up for the entire ride (she opened up pretty easily). To get to the center we had to take 2nd bus, so we took the 2nd ride together as she also was heading that way.

Throughout that ride we also kept having a conversation but the pressure to 'keep the gas going' was away so it was all'right if there were some silences. Because I had a hole in my jeans I asked her if she knows a place where I can get it sewed. She is down to show me a place and accompanies me to it. After my jeans is stitched I ask her if she wants to grab a coffee. She is down and knows a place with a piano (I think that I mentioned that I played piano or asked her if the city has any piano bars somewhere throughout the conversation). We go there, have a drink and now I can relax and let her do all the talking. I show some of my piano skills and she liked what I played.

After that I propose her to sit on a more comfortable couch of the coffee shop (it was the lower level of the coffee shop/bar). Here I started to make some 'physical escalations' by touching her a bit on her back. She didn't resist. She proposes to go for a walk to the lake, why not. At the lake we sat down under a Chinese pavilion where I kissed her.

So it took me about 40 approaches in the challenge to meet a girl I was able to kiss (I didn't have success in my earlier approaches before this challenge). I think I can take it a step further with her but I'm not 100% sure if I'm going to contact her again.

Was the girl in question a stunning beauty? No, but she had femininity though.

By the way, I'm not going to get out of my way justifying myself every time someone pops in this thread and states the 'but you should meet girls through the social circle'. I never said that meeting women is confined to the streets. Nor do I think that the streets are the best place to meet them but it offers a lot of opportunities as the volume of girls is high and being able to approach girls in street makes you desensitized to do it everywhere (bus, grocery shop, parties, bars, etc.)

Total: 40/100

 

2 approaches today.

One of them was in the bookstore where I was looking at some books (the Classics section). I asked the girl next to me if she knew something about Tolstoj. Apparently it is her favorite author so I asked her if she has any books of him she would recommended to start with. Was able to have a little chat about books with her and got her number.

The other one was a group of 2 girls in a coffee shop. The interaction was short and nothing really special to mention (I asked if they knew a good coffee shop for computer work but I found it hard to sustain a conversation).

Thanks for the support guys! @Spirituss, thanks for the encouragement in the beginning, it really helped me enduring even if the going got pretty tough at some point. Your initial thread/journal inspired me to go out and talk with girls and logging it here. Although we may not agree on the 'style of approach' (you like to go direct and be completely honest, whilst I like to be a bit more indirect and try to get a casual chat going on) I found value in your advice.

Now concerning the girl I kissed yesterday and why I'm not sure if I would try to get her in bed: although I only approach girls I find attractive and she has something, it's not that I was *super attracted* to her... But I haven't decided yet.

Total: 42/100

 

Did 4 approaches today

One was at the bus stop but the interaction was short.

The other one was in the line of a checkout of a grocery store. I asked the girl a simple question (if I needed bottled water to make tea or if tap water is safe) and was able to make her laugh a bit with some sarcastic remarks. An other one was a similar situation but at the line of a coffee shop. However it was her turn pretty early on in the interaction and I didn't went out of my way to continue it whilst she was ordering (it's not likely that a girl will wait for you after she has ordered/paid especially if the interaction is short).

The last approach of today was in the same coffee shop. I opened up with 2 girls when I left who sat at the same table asking them when the coffee shop closes. I was able to have a chat with them for more than 10 mins and I have the number of the cute one of the two.

I'm also making it a habit to have little chats with cute girls who work as employees in grocery stores, pharmacies, laboratories, book stores, etc. Some of these chats go beyond the 10 min mark and go pretty good (some of them are short where I lack the conversational skills to make something out of it) but I don't qualify these as cold approaches within the scope of this challenge/thread

Total: 46/100

 

2 approaches today

Both were on the street. One was asking a girl for directions and she helped me with her Google Maps. Asked for her number afterwards but she just laughed (not even sure if she understood me).

The other approach was a group of 3 girls just asking for a place where I can buy food but I didn't manage to make the interaction personalized.

I mentioned that now I sometimes find myself chatting up female employees when doing their jobs where the conversation can become more personalized and where they sometimes show some interest. I'm not counting these under the 100 cold approaches. Today I had a bit of a chat going on with a female shop clerk in a sport shop. The conversation took a personal direction (asking me what I study etc.). I asked her for her number and she suggested Instagram. I really have to work on my 'closing game' because my invitation to exchange contacts was pretty weak:

"If you would like to get my number [...]" (so technically I didn't even asked it...) and then I also said something like "Yeah maybe it's weird to exchange numbers because you are working now" (whilst I'm not really sure if she would have denied giving me her number). So I didn't really made my intentions clear, or at least not clear enough. She did proposed me to come back another time for a chat but I'm moving to another city. I think my brain is making excuses to avoid the feeling of rejection, so that's maybe why I made the invitation a bit vague. Same with the first approach I described: I didn't really felt the rejection so it's better to try to push things through in order that it's really clear that she is not interested.

I think I did another approach on the street but it was way too formal (asking for directions and that's it). Like I said, I'm putting the threshold a bit higher although I might have counted it as a cold approach in the beginning of the challenge. Maybe I'm just going to leave some of the approaches out when I feel like the interaction was just too short to even make it memorable the next day. Or if I do let's say 3 formal cold approaches (i.e. opening up without a substantial conversation as a result) then maybe I'll count that as 1.

Total: 48/100