Cold approach journal

I want to talk about something that crosses my mind. For a long time I projected a certain image that wasn't me. I had such deep-seated blockages and insecurities.
These insecurities came to light when I began to approach women on the street.

For a long time I was in pain. I learned things about myself that hurt me.
But I had to go through this. I went through a lot of very difficult stages both in the relationship I had with myself and the relationship I had with others (women in particular).

Before this process, I was living in fear. The fear of displeasing. Approaching women allowed me to purge my insecurities. To remove what I no longer wanted.
I still have work to do. I will continue to be strictly honest with myself and take action every day for what is important to me. Especially if it's going to hurt.

I want to live without regrets at the end of my life.
The more I move forward, the more I turn to self-love.

I still have work to do on my ego. Freeing myself from the ego is my goal for the next few years.
Strangely, I approach women but I have understood that all that matters is the relationship I have with myself. I am learning to become my best friend.
Fear is always there. After approaching perhaps 4000 or more women. I don't count. But my relationship to fear has changed. It's much more excitement than pure fear now. That's why it's easy for me to take action even if I had to stop for a long time.
Approaching a woman without stress, staying calm and bringing a positive vibe is already something incredible. I can be proud of how far I've come.
It's just the beginning. I hope to progress enormously in the coming years.
Not necessarily progress with women, but especially with myself. I don't care what might or might not work to be honest. Because I have deeply realized that I am projecting the relationship I have with myself into the world, whether I like it or not. So yeah, everything come from within.

It was very difficult to look inside myself and be strictly honest about the relationship I had with myself. The truth is, you can get what you want, be a millionaire, have slept with 300 women, and still feel like shit.

 

DAY 16

I haven't approached any girl today. I went out but I didn't see anyone.

I also asked a woman out and she refused.

What is difficult with this process is persistence. Going out every day, being rejected over and over again. Meeting women who sometimes act badly. Sometimes we act badly ourselves. Of course, there are also the incredible moments we can experience. Our life becomes a roller coaster, every day.
It becomes an adventure in which we have to hold on, to keep going. In spite of what we think of ourselves, the way others look at us.

We all have a story. A story that has made us what we are today. The goal is to see life as it is, without all the beliefs that we have created over the years.
I have learned to become my best friend. Because at the end of the road, all that matters is the relationship I have with myself.
I have a pure and very deep personality. I have difficulty connecting with some women. I had to let go of the need to please in order to re-center myself. Accept only women who fit me fully for who I am and not the image I want to project.
It's really difficult. There is ego. Humans don't like to be rejected. To voluntarily put oneself in situations where we're going to be rejected is like suicide for the brain. Yes, it's difficult, and yes, it's brutal. Rejecting women is as difficult as getting rejected. We don't wanna hurt people when we encounter a situation where we have to do it for our own good and hers. but if we don't, we aren't respecting who we deeply are.


This is the path I decided to take in my life. I consider myself much more gifted than the majority of men. Yet, the better I feel with myself, the more disconnected I feel from others. I feel a lot of suffering, a lot of ego on the part of women.

It's difficult, it always has been. But I love it. I love suffering and moving forward every day. When my body tells me to stop, I ask my mind if it can continue. And vice versa. And I always can. So I keep going, no matter what it takes.
I think that's why I've been trying so hard.
I'm proud to be where I am today. I feel peace. But still, I feel disconnected from the world. I don't need to be loved or appreciated. Even though I love connecting with women and people in general

 

As far as I'm concerned, I'm no longer focused at all on what can happen. Even if she rejects me like shit, all that can be affected is my ego. So that's positive. I don't care about ego. My core identity is still there.
Plus in the end it's not really fear anymore, it's excitement. And a desire to give instead of trying to get.
Gratitude

Yeah I feel you. It's difficult. We are not our thoughts. "Love is the absence of judgment" Dalai Lama
It's okay to feel bad