Porn gone, solved ED and DE, but still fap

RadioheadFan · Jan 28, 2021

TW: mention of porn and sex. Idk if that’s a trigger but I guess

Hey, new here. Had a girlfriend for about a year. Started being active together about 7/8 months ago. Only one previous encounter where I was very drunk in a European city so the little man didn’t show up, marginally traumatising bc my mate was a couple beds along. Anyway, got my current girlfriend and started having sex. The first few times it didn’t work at all, so stopped having like tactical ones before hand and trying to relax and still did not work. I was sure I was gay at this point because that was all that could explain it but I’d never wanted to be with a guy so it was a confusing time. Lots of self loathing that almost made me end the relationship.

Gave up porn as a last resort bc it made me guilty I could with these plastic virtual girls, but not with the gorgeous real life ones. To my surprise, after a few false starts I was raring to go. Still had problems ejaculating (only one specific position could do it) but that became easier and now I can ejaculate during sex in almost any position. I’m not sure if it was porn but I just feel like having discovered this community since it must’ve been a significant driver. I’d been watching progressively more hardcore since about 13 and wasn’t 18 before I realised sex is not like that.

I still fap tho and I wanna stop bc I feel like I’ve unwittingly done half of the NoFap journey off my own back but I can’t do the last hurdle. I still occasionally have trouble finishing and it’s weird. Anyone got any words of advice for how I should go about this or what they think of my journey so far?

Daggertail19 · Jan 28, 2021

RadioheadFan said: ↑

TW: mention of porn and sex. Idk if that’s a trigger but I guess

Hey, new here. Had a girlfriend for about a year. Started being active together about 7/8 months ago. Only one previous encounter where I was very drunk in a European city so the little man didn’t show up, marginally traumatising bc my mate was a couple beds along. Anyway, got my current girlfriend and started having sex. The first few times it didn’t work at all, so stopped having like tactical ones before hand and trying to relax and still did not work. I was sure I was gay at this point because that was all that could explain it but I’d never wanted to be with a guy so it was a confusing time. Lots of self loathing that almost made me end the relationship.

Gave up porn as a last resort bc it made me guilty I could with these plastic virtual girls, but not with the gorgeous real life ones. To my surprise, after a few false starts I was raring to go. Still had problems ejaculating (only one specific position could do it) but that became easier and now I can ejaculate during sex in almost any position. I’m not sure if it was porn but I just feel like having discovered this community since it must’ve been a significant driver. I’d been watching progressively more hardcore since about 13 and wasn’t 18 before I realised sex is not like that.

I still fap tho and I wanna stop bc I feel like I’ve unwittingly done half of the NoFap journey off my own back but I can’t do the last hurdle. I still occasionally have trouble finishing and it’s weird. Anyone got any words of advice for how I should go about this or what they think of my journey so far?
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Hello,

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. You are not alone, I too was convinced I was gay even though I did not find males sexually attractive at all. My older brother is gay, so I convinced myself that the genes had transferred over. (How ridiculous of me). Unfortunately, my day counter does not have much to show, however the progress I have seen from this month compared to last month, or even last year, is so much better now that I only fap about 3 times a week instead of 3 times a day.

Just keep pushing man, it is tough. Especially the no fapping part, since we have been doing it for so long.

Currently I am working full time, go to the gym early in the morning, and have school after work. So my day is pretty full. I am trying to develop hobbies, photography, guitar, music, to fill up my extra time. I also try video journaling, journaling, and meditating. Currently I am trying to go 1 week with no porn and no masturbating. I can do it, I just need to white knuckle the days that feel like shit.

Keep it up man, you are in the right place. Feel free to reach out.

RadioheadFan · Jan 28, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Hello,

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. You are not alone, I too was convinced I was gay even though I did not find males sexually attractive at all. My older brother is gay, so I convinced myself that the genes had transferred over. (How ridiculous of me). Unfortunately, my day counter does not have much to show, however the progress I have seen from this month compared to last month, or even last year, is so much better now that I only fap about 3 times a week instead of 3 times a day.

Just keep pushing man, it is tough. Especially the no fapping part, since we have been doing it for so long.

Currently I am working full time, go to the gym early in the morning, and have school after work. So my day is pretty full. I am trying to develop hobbies, photography, guitar, music, to fill up my extra time. I also try video journaling, journaling, and meditating. Currently I am trying to go 1 week with no porn and no masturbating. I can do it, I just need to white knuckle the days that feel like shit.

Keep it up man, you are in the right place. Feel free to reach out.
Click to expand...

Hey man. I’ve been trying to learn guitar too how mad. It’s tough bc of UK lockdown for me so gyms are shut but yeah I’m usually 1/2 times masturbating per day.
Got Uni work too but it’s hard to concentrate on that like it’s mad. Like I feel like I’ve managed to stop like hardcore porn but I’m always tempted. I’m gonna try hard mode I think but accept that a week to start will be a good achievement

Daggertail19 · Jan 28, 2021

Musical talent is a great hobby to develop! So far I can play hotel california, hurt by johnny cash, and dust in the wind.

I definitely intend to keep going past a week, hard mode. But I need to make it to one week without porn and masturbation, I can't remember the last time that I did. Setting big goals like 90 days or even a month never end well for me.

RadioheadFan · Jan 28, 2021

Daggertail19 said: ↑

Musical talent is a great hobby to develop! So far I can play hotel california, hurt by johnny cash, and dust in the wind.

I definitely intend to keep going past a week, hard mode. But I need to make it to one week without porn and masturbation, I can't remember the last time that I did. Setting big goals like 90 days or even a month never end well for me.
Click to expand...

Yeah deffo can be difficult. Ah well hope the guitar goes well and good luck!!

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