How did you first discover porn? How did you react?

I was never really into girls whilst younger the first time a watched porn was a friend who brought it to school in his phone, later another friend told me he was masturbating and i was shocked because we don't talk about this stuff at home.
As soon as i went home i masturbated i would be some time before i started porn, first time i masturbated to transexual i was disgusted with myself but kept coming back to it; well to make things short fast forward a decade and i can't masturbate without porn or edging which i did 1-3 times a day.
And i am not saying that being attracted to transexual is wrong or disgusting the issue here was with me and iv masturbated to worse lets leave it at that.

 

I started with soft porn. In my teens, when we first got to watch cable TV, there were only two s stations in my city: OnTV and Spectrum. At nights past 10:00 pm, they would start showing movies that were sexual but not intensely so. Lots of nude women, some making out and that's it. I started watching those when everyone was asleep except my dad who worked nights. That is when I started masturbating. I got very interested in it. One night, I was watching porn but not masturbating and my dad came home from work early. He started watching it with me! Then my mom woke up, came out of the back bedroom, saw Dad and me watching TV, and asked what we were watching. Dad told Mom that *I* was watching porn. Needless to say, my mom was more intelligent than that and knew we both were. After that, I started sneaking porn magazines that I would buy and masturbate to them. I remember calling up phone sex lines. Then when I got old enough I visited a strip joint maybe three times. That is how it started. I am glad I am through with porn entirely. It's not a good habit or addiction to get into. I've been PMO free for over 80 days. I learned I had PIED for many years. Now that I'm free of porn, I even woke up a few times the past week with morning wood! I didn't think guys MY age got those but hey, I'm not complaining.

 

I’ve been addicted for 13 years.

I first saw a picture of porn when I was 8, shown by a friend at school. It was a cartoon picture of Goku and some anime lady. I was freaked out.

when I was 10, I came across a picture whilst looking up “habbo hotel hacks” of a woman masturbating. I was shocked and freaked out by the fact women too have something down below lol. At such a naive age, I always believed that women didn’t have any sort of organ. I had seen nude bodies (in disgust) in movies and art but was never sexually interested in it.

when I was 11, I discovered M and O on my own terms. I noticed that M would give me this “weird but good” feeling. It was around the same time GTA San Andreas came out because I remember distinctively the moment I first did this was when I just finished that low-rider mission. I had no idea at all that M and O was sexual, I thought I had some weird muscle spasm.

I didn’t start watching P until I was 13. That same friend who showed me the cartoon picture also told me about a “cool” website that had something on it called “porno”. I was so naive, but it was one of the largest P sites today. I can still remember the first ever video I watched but everything in between that and the last P I watched becomes easily forgettable. Weird how easily one could get hooked but I always kept it a secret until I talked to other friends at school who also watched P, asking each other if it was normal for man and women to “have sex”.


It’s sad to say this but usually the onset of ones first discovery of P nowadays is usually before they begin to sexually develop. From my own experience, I believe that is true. P is all lies and nonsense, and I’m just glad to no longer be apart of consuming such artificial stimuli. I’m rediscovering my life and finding out things about myself I didn’t think I had during my days of compulsive use.

 

first time my dad caught me watching he did not say its bad or i had to stop he just told me its a waste of time which is surprising as he is very pious and my mom just try not to catch me in the act, this time i am doing it for them.

 

Weirdly enough I just can't remember when I saw porn for the first time. I try to remember because it could explain things, but I don't know.

I have the memory of searching for Lara croft picture when I was under 12. And I stumbled across nude picture of her but that's all I can remember. I don't know if it was the first time or not.

I also remember that my father had computer CD with software and a XXX section. But it wasn't porn, it was erotica.
Way later I used my dad's computer to watch hentai but I already knew what it was. I just don't remember how I got there. I know my father watched porn at that time (he successfully quit years after, never openly talked about that). I know that because one time I wanted to use the computer and he said OK and just before going out he came back quickly to the pc and mumbled something about memory issue and he cleared the browser history. When I think about that it's painful because to me he was a saint and I guess I used that to normalize my porn consumption : "even my Christian father in his 40 watch porn, I guess I can do it too".

Sorry I'm talking too much but just writing this post made me remember things.

 

In Germany soft porn shows are all over several TV channels at the nighttime. Just cringy stripper shows that beg you to send a SMS to get your money & simple nudity etc

I was 11 or so and friends were firstly discovering these shows so we watched them together (what sounds completely weird today, but back then we didn't even have a sexuality and just found it funny, like, haha, naked people, so dumb). Later my cousin showed me a website where you can find "harder stuff" and sent me a link on ICQ. I literally discovered my sexuality with porn before ever having just one sexual thought about a girl.

 

I also first watched it on TV late at night.
I had seen softcore stuff before but never the real deal, however I knew some local channels played it late at night. So one night I stayed up, got out of bed late when everybody was sleeping, and went to the TV.
Watching it right there was risky because my parents could wake up at any moment, so instead I popped in a VHS tape into the recorder and started recording, then went back to bed. After thirty or forty minutes, I went back there, stopped the recording, and brought the tape back into my room. I kept it hidden there waiting for the day when I would be left alone at home and be able to watch it safely.
Yes, everything was very carefully planned xD

That night, when I first turned the TV on before starting the recording, is when I first saw hardcore porn. I think it was a girl giving a bj, and I remember very clearly being shocked by the size of the actor's penis. Maybe that created some inferiority complex regarding the size of my penis that lasted for a while, but other than that I don't think that this first encounter triggered anything.
My addiction started a little bit later, gradually, and only after I got high-speed Internet at home.

 

Mercifully I didn't discover the hard stuff until I was 18, however I was going nuts to late night movies ('erotic thriller' type stuff), music videos, clothing catalogues, my own drawings and imagination. Later lads mags/softcore magazines I found in my brother's drawer like FHM, Loaded and (later) Playboy. I was too nervous to search porn on my parents' (shared) computer, but I kept a downloaded a few floppy discs worth of sexy celeb pics, all catalogued in folders in alphabetical order of course.
All seems a bit quaint when I discovered the real deal. But it's still weird, secretive, obsessive, and polar opposite of any real sexual encounters or relationships.

 

like most ppl on here, it started off with curiosity. once i realized what a nut felt like i was hooked. never knew it would come back to bite me on the ass as an adult.

 

When I was at home alone during summer breaks, I used to play GTA SA. My friends used to play it too, and they were talking about things happening in GTA SA's tunnels (i.e. sex) I got curious I tried it out too, then I searched other stuff related to Tunnels in GTA SA on YouTube, I saw a few mods that could do stuff, I did not try them but I saw them on YT.
Then I ended up breaking my PC while installing Windows 10, so GTA SA got deleted. After a year or two I ended watched some American movie scenes on YT.

I did not know about MO back then.

My reaction was confusion and fear. I used to think sex was something bad back then then, it was after a year or so that I realized sex was necessary for most of the species to grow/expand.

 

I first looked at porn at 14. I knew what porn was from kids in my neighborhood and at school, they would talk about it a lot. My parents also wanted to make sure I never looked at porn.

However, in 2012 I got my first laptop I was doing online schooling and sometimes if I was alone for a good amount of time and got bored I would watch porn I started off with softcore but of course, later started getting into hardcore and fetishes.

during this time before I viewed hardcore, my mind created the lie that softcore isn't bad but hardcore is bad while truthfully both of them are harmful.

 

I first started watching "porn" as in the hardcore stuff when I was around late 12 -13. However, my troubles with this had begun when I was a few years younger and looked up something accidentally on Google on my uncle's computer (I forget exactly what it was), which showed women in cleavage and stuff like that. I didn't think about it too much but it certainly planted something in my head. I also got exposed to a lot of the sex stuff from GTA games (which I got caught watching, but didn't know what to think of it).
From there, after moving to a new house and having troubles in a new school/town, I used to go in the bathroom and do it to pics of sexually depicted women in bikinis and what not(before I even nutted). It was not long after that that I discovered nude pictures of women in YT. I felt somewhat guilty after I realized what I was doing , but a friend's brother seemed to think that for him it was "normal" and "good for you" and used to do it a lot of times a day, according to what he said, to increasingly more degenerative themes (softcore to hardcore to he***i etc)(which I later realized were really bad). I still had no interest in girls at this point either, something that would remain with me until recently. I experienced something much to the effect of what this guy said:

Eventually, my mischievous self thought that everything had gotten so bad (after a falling out with old friends and things not doing so good in school) that I decided to try watching hardcore porn on PH. I was shocked and disgusted by how graphic it was at first, but my mind got accustomed to it. I was hooked to PMOing and I felt guilty. No one ever knew about this because my grades were still the same (although my behavior seemed irregular at times) and I even denied it at first when it was mentioned occasionally and was very uncomfortable with sexual topics, until I spoke about it openly to a few close friends recently. My family still thinks that I have/had a psychological disorder because they do not know about what PMO has done to me, and I don't know how to tell them. This went on for a few years before finally realizing that what I was doing needed to stop at the end of 2019. It was almost like a wake up call from God at the lowest point in my life, and I am forever thankful to him for saving me.
I began NoFap at the start of 2020 and joined the forum a few months ago. I fully intend on quitting this addiction and beginning to work on myself more so that I can repair the relationships with my friends and family, find new relationships and maybe someone to love, pursue and achieve success in my life/school/future career, and live the best life that I possibly can.

 

as a kid i use to keep some of my stuff in the attic so i frequent the attic to organize my stuff one day stumbled upon my older cousins hustler magazines , i was hooked, we had satalite tv where we can manually scan the airways for channels i scanned for channels an found xxx channels they were fuzzy but not too fuzy just enough to see what was going on,i was hooked again but i got in trouble, i got found out about my dirty little secret

 

I first discovered porn when I found a website porn name and when I was 13. When I discovered porn for the first time all I see is alot of sexual activities videos like men giving oral sex to women, sexual intercourse, anal sex, and men giving sperm in the women’s mouth and same thing with porn cams and porn pictures. By the time when I was 16 years old I started to masturbate to porn because of the sexual activities and that is why I was addicted to masturbation due to watching porn.

Since this is my 17th day of no masturbation, my porn addiction is going away because if I didn’t watch porn I don’t masturbate and I get a little bit addicted to porn. If I did watch porn then I would masturbate and that is the cause of why I keep relasping and failed myself. The way how I’m staying away from porn is leaving my VPN on and the VPN app I downloaded is Blocksite which is a app that blocks websites like porn websites while I stay away from masturbation is not watching porn and staying busy to myself so that if I stay busy like doing homework I have the chance to stay away from masturbation.

 

I was introduced to it, to my shame and despicable from my father. He was addicted to it and would leave the movies/tapes around and I would think they were one of my kid movies, I would pop it it my vhs and couldn't look away. It would later become my addiction, watching site after site, participating in sites and earning a 6 figure salary while wanking online for others to watch me. Just like every addiction, you want more and enough is never enough, I began to escort at age 20, sleeping with 3 to 4 woman a day, again not enough, I would wank up to 10 a day until I found myself just in my house alone with just porn as my only companion, that's when I entered a rehabilitation for addiction. Long story short, my father, the policeman and preacher introduced me.

 

The first time I watched porn was when i was 11. This 10 yr old girl showed it to me at a sleep over and I was completely shocked and disgusted by it. I didn't really develop sexual feelings until a little later on. Kids in school started talking about sex and I started to get curious what all the fuss was about. I started to touch myself down there and I had a really strong sensation at the end. I didn't know that what I was doing was considered masturbating or that I just experienced an orgasm. I found out about the term masturbation later on when some boys were talking about it. I started getting into porn because I used to see porn pics and videos on Instagram (before they had good censorship). I wasn't hooked initially, but then once I started combining the vids with masturbation then that's when I got hooked. Once Instagram started getting stricter policies it was hard to find porn, so I went to other social media sites which then lead to pornhub. Now im here trying to fight through this shit.

 

A question on this is how you define “porn.” If it is broadly extended to any images specifically intended for sexual arousal, whether explicitly depicting sex acts or not, it would include the nude photos in the 1950s early 60s men’s magazines I saw at a friend’s house. This was well before puberty (gives you an idea how ancient I am), but I remember how intensely excited I was even then. It was like rocket fuel.

I used such magazines in adolescence and throughout my adulthood. It was not a long step from there into harder and harder porn. Even then, I still sought out pics from those old mags, which were hugely available in the internet along with all the harder stuff. I believe in searching for them I was seeking to revisit my youth, perhaps capturing a more thorough access to excitement I’d had only limited access to in those earlier days.

Whatever the process, I became a long time porn addict, eventually getting into stuff I once would have considered disgusting. I have two points I believe are important to make.

First, although that early “men’s magazine” crap may not be considered literally porn, it is extremely likely to lead to harder stuff, which essentially makes it part of the whole process of addiction.

My second point is on the pluses and minuses of this entire question. I believe it is vital to reflect on the way we became addicts, which helps us gain an understanding of ourselves and how to approach our difficulties. I’ve done that more at length in my journal, which expands on the thoughts I’ve noted here. But...

I can’t let a focus on my past detain me from addressing the present. I believe at some point, pretty early in the effort for sobriety, we need to not let discussions of history, life problems, fetishes, and so many of the issues we see brought up in these forums be a distraction or procrastination from dealing directly with our actual behavior. The behavior in the current moment is the real problem. At some point you have to stop dancing around or trying to “outthink” your addiction and actually take it head on with an extreme will power and conviction. You can’t discuss or intellectualize your way out of this. You’ve got to deal with the behavior every time an urge or thought comes up.

Of course, I can only speak for myself. I keep saying I’m an addict with decades of failure, so who am I to give advice, but then I do have plenty of experience in what failure looks like. And to me one of the ways to that failure is to get lost in analysis without focusing on current behavior and taking on the huge task of changing it.

 

I was different in that I was exposed to sexualised pictures of women or catalogs before P, but I never had the idea to fap or engage in it when I was young. For me, it was the shock value of bare breasts/body that got my aroused.

 

Never saw seethru until AFTER being exposed. Most of what I saw previous to discovering P was like women in bikinis or like what you'd see on the cover of Playboy.