The Jedi Temple (open)

12 days, Padawan

 

Day 88, checking in.

 

Hey guys havent been on in ages and starting fresh again! Had a couple bad weeks with personal stuff and relapsing involved but im done with it and want to start anew.

Day 1 checkin! As a youngling

 

Good day everyone. I'd like to take part in this challenge.
Jedi Knight, here I come.

 

Checking in on Day 46, Jedi Knight.

 

Day 1 - Youngling

 

Day 42 , Jedi Knight

 

I made it to 30 days but I unfortunately relapsed twice last night. I drank two beers while working on homework and then broke my rule of using my phone while in bed. I was initially using the Fortify app but then made the poor decision of peeking on Twitter (without signing in) and then went to a porn site. This relapse has taught me that I need to get better at urge surfing and changing my surroundings. I need to practice stronger discipline and not drink solo even if it initially seems like an innocent act. This is the first time I drank in a few weeks so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal and boy was I wrong.

I'm lucky to be in the career that I'm in but I can't help but feel that porn has held me back to some degree. I've thought on numerous occasions that I should be farther along and should have had a larger positive impact on the world by now. In reality, I've learned a variety of lessons and impacted a number of lives. There's a lot I want to do over the next 5 years and the next 10. Covid has forced me to adapt to how I will accomplish these goals and achieve my vision of future success. I need to maintain focus on not exclusively subtracting porn from my life but on adding meaningful changes to my life and the lives of others.

Relapses aside, I accomplished a few goals this past week including preparing and eating healthy meals, spending a day outside with a friend, continuing to work on grad school homework, exercising daily, and performing well at work. This streak is encouraging despite the relapses and peeks. I forgive myself for these relapses and acknowledge I need to be better at preventing them. I'm moving forward with new insights and a stronger focus on preventative measures. Gotta let go of PMO.

 

I was almost a Jedi ! Day 0

 

I did it again. I relapsed for the third time in 24 hours. I was at home doing school work and I just went full brain dead zombie mode. If it weren't for covid, I'd try to go to a public library. That's still not an excuse to rampantly PMO. I should've exercised or gone for a walk outside.

My goals for the next week include:

• No peeks, no edging, no porn, no nothin'
• No unnecessary tech use and stay the fuck off of social media
• Submit grad school assignments early
• Exercise daily
• Plan activities and carry them out to fruition (while still being flexible and spontaneous to some degree)
• Cook heathy food and eat it
• Call friends and relatives
• Read a damn book
• Maintain motivation and focus at work
• Watch the super bowl with friends and roommates

In case you can't tell from the profanity, I'm really mad at myself right now.

 

Yo it's been a long time but I'm back had loads of schoolwork to do, my school always packs assessments so close together in term/semester times so far they've gone pretty well got 34/38 in my statistics exam and 21/24 in my Kinetics and Energetics exam. Got a mechanics exam tomorrow so currently studying for that. I think all this studying has helped me stay off fapping. Because I haven't fapped in nearly two weeks.

 

No matter partner, just remember to never give up

 

Les goo lad, wishing you the best on your recovery journey. All of us will surely achieve victory as long as we persist

 

But its okey, the key to victory, is knowing when to get up again.

 

@Calypsong I remember , that my first 13 days were always harder for me, because I always thought that im just getting away from pleasue, but its the other way, you are getting away for reality , keep going youngling.

 

Woops, I forgot to check in yesterday. So I'll do today (counts as a third check in aswell)

 

I shall continue fending off the urges, appreciate the reminder partner.

 

13 days, Padawan

 

I couldn't agree with you more on this statement. I thought my problem was with porn but in reality my problem was with the discomfort of life. Porn was used to self medicate myself through the challenges of life. If I can learn to accept that life will be hard sometimes, accepting the reality of what is at that moment while not pleasant is a first step towards a more balanced life. This isn't easy but the pain of life isn't as brutal as the pain your feel from a setback.