Why this website MAY actually harm your progress!

Here's why this website MAY actually harm your progress.
(A highly personal opinion by Corelius)

Before you stone me, ban me or reply with hateful comments let me explain
what i mean by that.

I no way do i want do discredit the achievements this website has done for people like us.
The countless men and women it has helped on their long journey to improve themselfes.

„Then why this controversial headline?“, you may ask.

Here's why:

I used to be a silent reader for a long time.
As all of you i suffered from the same problem with PMO and their detrimental side effects and as many of you i failed.
I failed a lot of times.
I relapsed, blamed myself over and over again and almost capitulated until i changed one thing.

I changed my mindset!

I changed how i handled my withdrawel, how i delt with setbacks and how i wanted to approach my goals. This has changed everything else.

And this is also why this website may (not by intention) be actually harmful for you.

I saw it every day when i was browsing here.
So many of you (us) who failed at their streek:
„Oh man. I relapsed after only 7 days, i am a loser. I am a failure“.
Does that sound familiar?

To you i can say. No man, you did not lose at all. You just won. And you won big!
You went from masturbating once a day or even multiple times a day to only once in a week.
That is not failure, that is a huge progress!
Instead of hating yourself you should be proud. You should rejoice and get going.
You may „fail“ again. Or not. And if you do, it might not be as bad as you think.
Because next time you might stretch that time to two weeks
or even a month or two. Or you will succeed entirelly. Who knows.

Many people here focus so much on their streek:

„Oh look, that guys streek is at 128 days without PMO and i am here with my meager 32 days and i already failed“

„I relapsed, now i have to reset my counter and start from the beginning“

So much infact that they completely lose focus on their goal, on their progress.
Soo many people tend to look on the long way forward and at what they did not achieve
that they completely forget they can just turn their head backwards and take a good look at the path that is already behind them.

When you stumble and hurt you knee while walking you do not get back to your car.
All you have to do is keep walking. One step at a time. You are already on the way.
You already walked a good chunk of the road so why stop now?

Change your outlook and you will change your life.

Don't entirely focus on what you can achieve.
Focus on what you already did accomplish!

Does that mean you should take it easy because a relapse in not a big thing?
No, not at all.
Like a good general you should fight every fight with the goal of winning.
Use every means neccessary to achieve victory.

But once you lost, you do not give up.
A lost battle does not mean a lost war.

The romans lost many times against Hannibal and yet at the end they were the victors. Be like the romans.
Keep on going even if you get defeated over and over again.

And one day, and that i promise you, you will have defeated that addiction named Hannibal and his elephants named porn and be the hero that stands on the field of glory.

You are already a winner.

Yours truly,
Corelius

 

Sorry for the late reply.
Well both yes, and no. Of course it is not the website per se that harms the progress of those people. My intention, and i can't stress this enough, is not to remove it or even change it. I just wanted to give people that used to see things like i did a little reminder that they are focussing on the wrong thing. My intention is just to help them, not harm anyone.

 

Maybe i wasn't that good at explaining it. Are you interested in further thoughts? I'm more than willing to go into further detail if i know someone reads it.