Can only get sexually aroused by my ex

Out of sight; out of mind.

 

I can relate. I’ve had 3 main long term exes, after the first I thought about her a lot until the second. Until I met the third I constantly found my PMOs were to p-stars who reminded me of her physically. Been done with the 3rd over a year but unlike the others hooked up w her after breakup. Lots of issues with the 3rd one, she claimed to be preg at one point (I’ll never know). All of this to say the only way I’ve been able to stop “derailing” sexual fantasy to that most recent “her” has been finding another one or consciously writing down the time of last fantasy to the ex and making it a goal to go as far as possible without her entering my mind

 

your addiction is tied with your ex. The best thing is to find away to let her go. Delete any social media contact of her if she has it. Have a talk with her about your issues. If it was a bad breakup keeping feelings inside can cause the issue to get worse.

 

I agree about getting rid of any social media contact, and I'd say ALL contact, so you can move on.

If this is still going on after a year, it seems like you're projecting stuff on to her which is unfair to you (since if it ended badly, your belief in who she was... was untrue). I would definitely recommend getting a counselor of some sort since they know way more about how to resolve things like this, and can get more information from you. The money would totally be worth the freedom of moving on.