need some motivation

You need to get up and start again. Keep moving.

 

It's all about your attitude, how you are fighting this. First of all you need to come out of a lapse with a more open mind, look what you were doing (browsing internet alone and with no goal, taking the day off from exercise), how you were feeling (sad, angry) and the specifics leading up to a lapse, such as your actions (touching self, isolating in a room). When you know these things you can anticipate your urges ahead of when they kick you in the face and take you to your favourite website or app.
Secondly and probably most importantly, you can not half arse it, there can be NO HALF MEASURES when it comes to your recovery. You can no longer live the way you have, and I understand it is hard during the pandemic and if you're down on yourself generally because of life prospects, but you can't use these as excuses for lapsing. You can't do things you have always done, you can't use your pc, laptop or phone alone, for starters get rid of your smartphone, next set boundaries for internet use and computer us all together. Your computer is in your bedroom? Then get it out of there and into a space near family or friends you live with, if you're alone move it somewhere near where you can be seen from outside the house. You need to be strict with yourself, for you are POWERLESS to this, the years you've struggled have shown this.
Thirdly you must stop trying to fight this your way, it's clearly not working and will never work, seek out other people, use NoFap to find info on recovery and tools for your recovery. Join SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) or similar groups and find people who are also fighting sex addictions and see how they have overcome it, learn from them and most importantly give their advice precedence over what you think you should be doing, it's like I said, your way isn't working. It's virtually impossible to do this alone, you need other people to pick you up, to bring you from the brink for your mind won't do that, maybe occasionally you'll be able to pull yourself back, but that isn't enough.

I hope this helps, drop me a message if you need anymore info on anything I've said, but stay strong, you're fighting this, you understand your demon and that is more than most people do in a lifetime.

 

You need to think that porn fucks up the mind of people. Why would you want to watch something that fucks up your mind? You don't need that shit. Be free.

Imagine saying open to a public "I'm addicted to porn since 20 years". How ridiculous and embarassing is that? Cmon, free yourself.

 

Another rebound tool is to replenish your protein and nutrients from protein shakes, lean meats, or a multivitamin because ejecting sperm drains your zinc and other nutrients. It won't be instant but try to get some protein in so you can regenerate sperm quicker. Don't forget to always hydrate with water.

 

Uncle Iroh and his wisdom
We’re you drinking tea while writing this ?

 

Only the best Jasmine tea money can buy.

 

About to be 29 this year so not exactly the same profile but one of the small yet huge things I've picked up in life and here most importantly, realize you relapsed and keep moving forward. For me personally I have tried and somehow succeeded at taking out the judgement and realizing that if if I stop permanently I will be destroyed entirely. I'm now thinking of that Rocky Balboa movie where Rocky himself describes the toughness of life, it's about how much you can get hit.....and keep moving forward!!!!

Another little thing is we somehow always overlook how awesome each of us is, the potential there all along.

 

I am also going to start one more time from tomorrow Let's do it together #BATTLEBEGIN